"Then one summer day, change and magic came loping and waltzing into her life, wearing white, and in that moment nothing seemed dark."
Quotation taken from the novel Wood Angel by Erin Bow
I am a Scorpio so I don't take kindly to change, but the quotation above has made me think of change in a new way. Without change all life would stagnate and eventually die. Of course I have always known this, but that doesn't make a time of change easier to negotiate. While I will still be reluctant to welcome the change that comes with chaos attached, I begin to see that certain changes can also be quite beneficial.
There have been a few changes in my life over the past few months, beginning with the death of my step-father last October, followed by the untimely and sudden death of my ex-fiance just a couple of weeks ago. We split up several years ago, but the loss of him is still difficult to come to terms with, not least because he has been in my heart for no less than 20 years - that's half my life. Although our relationship didn't work out, we never stopped caring about each other and could speak quite amicably. It is strange to know that I will never bump into him again...that the Ex-File has been closed for good.
This year has been a season of relinquishment for me. I have let go of many things, from a full declutter of the entire house, to old friendships that were not nearly so honest and friendly as I had always assumed. And two bereavements in 9 nine months are enough to make anyone reassess their life. Although I am sad, I feel a sense of relief that I am no longer held down by my past...that I now see people for who they are, rather than how they were presenting themselves to me. It's hard letting go of friendships and relationships that are no longer working, but perhaps no-one is meant to be in your life forever. Because nothing is forever.
Changes have taken place in my working life too, as a few of my editors have moved on and new editors take up their posts. This has meant that I needed to update my whole editorial contacts list with new editors names and new publishers etc. It means building up new working relationships and getting to know one another's way of working.
In addition I have been working on a new venture this week called Cosmic Counselor, which will run in tandem with my Cosmic Cash Point for Its Fate. I am very excited by this chance to help people in a new way, combining magic and counseling life skills to create something unique to my name and the Marie Bruce publishing brand. Cosmic Counselor should be launched in Its Fate magazine very soon.
After any season of relinquishment there is usually a season of attainment so I am optimistic about the future, in spite of the recent losses. I feel calm, centered and quietly confident. Who knows what waits for me around the next corner? It could be another relinquishment... or it might be the start of something wonderful.
I trust in the power of a benevolence universe.