MUSICAL DOLL; Macabre Music for Autumn

 As summer draws to a close and we begin the transition into autumn, lately I have found myself listening to more sombre, instrumental music.  Music is one of the easiest ways to create an atmosphere, and when you add in some seasonal scents too, your home will soon begin to feel like a cosy autumnal oasis.  So today I have been burning Poison Apple wax melts from The Upturned Cauldron, to fill my house with all the fragrance of an apple orchard in September. In addition, I have been playing some very seasonal music, while putting out a few new home decor items that I have purchased in recent weeks, to lend my home all the autumnal vibes I love. 

Macabre by Steve Orchard is an album of quite surprising contrasts. It has all the tones you would expect from a New World Music album, such as nature sounds, pan pipes and haunting vocalization, but this album is blended with more up-tempo undertones, reminiscent of soft rock.  This merging of styles wasn't what I was expecting, but I really liked it nonetheless. I enjoyed the fact that the album kept on surprising me, moving seamlessly from say, a peal of thunder, into electric guitar, strings and piano. 

It's a very atmospheric album, with some tracks drawing on electronic orchestral sounds, while others have a more traditional New Age feel to them that reminded me of Clannad. Macabre has that same blending of both ethereal and pop-rock vibes that Clannad are famous for. 

I did enjoy some tracks more than others, with Lady in Grey being a firm favourite. This is a track that I was totally lost in, with haunting vocalization and a gentle, feminine soundscape. I loved it. 

In contrast, I also enjoyed the Phantom Drummer Boy, which starts out with a strong Celtic sound, similar to the music that is played at a Scottish  ceilidh. It's quite a foot-tapping track, giving military vibes and marching drums, as you would expect from the title. If Lady in Grey is a feminine track, then Phantom Drummer Boy is pure masculinity, making me think of battlefields such as Culloden Moor and Falkirk. 

Other particularly noteworthy tracks include Marie Celeste, which opens with the sound of strong winds and ocean waves, before moving into evocative pan-pipes, like a wordless sea-shanty, which is exactly what you want in a melody inspired by a famous ghost ship! I also enjoyed Dark Angel, which opens with a very spooky male vocalization, before moving into strings and piano.  This track has a ghostly monkish feel to it, which is both unexpected and very sinister!  

The cover art for Macabre is just stunning, although there are no ravens cawing in the background on any of the tracks, which was a little disappointing, as the cover treatment seems to suggest that there would be. All in all there are twelve tracks on this album, which plays for over an hour, so you get a lot of bang for your buck. It would be the ideal background music for any spooky autumnal gathering you are planning, such as Samhain or Bonfire Night, or a simple gathering of friends for seasonal treats and wine. I know that I will be playing this CD throughout the dark season, because it is such a spooky, sonic delight.  If you like Llewellyn's Ghosts album, then you will probably enjoy Macabre too. 

If classical music is more to your taste, however, then this double album of both Dark and Light Academia might be right up your street.  This is a compilation of some of the best known classical music, by the worlds finest composers. Furthermore, because it's a double album, it will see you right through the year, so it's perfect if you are on a budget, as you get two CDs for the price of one! The music is divided by whether it subscribes to either dark or light academia vibes, so you could play the Dark Academia CD through autumn and winter, and then play the Light Academia CD during the spring and summer months. 

Like most classical music, this album is ideal for studying, revising, creative writing, journaling and so on. It's also nice to play in the background when you are doing needle craft such as tapestry or crochet. Both CDs are full of  pieces of music that you probably didn't know you knew, until you hear them! Classical scores are featured so heavily in films and on TV that we tend to absorb them without being aware of it, so there are sure to be lots of melodies on this double album that are already familiar to you, plus a few lesser known tracks too.  The cover treatment is pretty, being dark and gold on the front and ivory and gold on the back, to match the musical register of each CD. This is a sophisticated double album and one that I have been playing a lot since I received it some months ago. 

For now, as darkness begins to fall, I'm going to add another Poison Apple tart to my burner, make a pumpkin spice hot chocolate and curl up to watch a few episodes of Supernatural.  Sounds like the perfect end to the perfect spooky, autumnal day! 

Happy autumn vibes!

BB Marie x

AD; Some of these items were gifted to me for the purposes of review. The albums mentioned are available now in CD and digital format. 

The Upturned Cauldron

New World Music

Amazon UK 

WRITER'S DREAM; It's A Juggling Act

 "This is how you do it; you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it's done. It's that easy - and that hard."

Neil Gaiman

I have lost count, over the years, of the number of people who have told me that they are  writers too, or that they are working on a book and hope to get it published.  In all my years as an author, only one of those people has actually managed to achieve this goal and get his book traditionally published. What sets this person apart from the rest is that he'd already made a name for himself in his field of expertise, and so he had a ready-made audience the publisher could sell to.  In addition, military books are quite the publishing trend right now, so that worked to his advantage too. Plus of course, he actually finished writing the book! 

Many people don't. They make excuses of not having enough time because they work, or have kids, or travel, and so their dreams fall by the wayside. My friend does all of those things, yet he still managed to finish the book and get it published, so a lot of it is down to personal dedication and commitment.  The fact remains though, that you will only get published once you have written something that a publisher can turn a profit on and so having an audience already in place is a huge advantage.  

Writing a book is hard work. It might not be physical labour, but it is certainly a mental work-out. When you are spending 8-10 hours a day writing, you can expect to finish up with headaches and blurry vision!  Your body might be aching from sitting in one position so long, but your spirit yearns for fresh air and movement, while your mind is in a fug of tiredness and longs to switch off.  This can lead to burn-out if you don't take enough breaks, or if you also work in another, more mundane job and write in your spare time. 

Writing is always a juggling act. To begin with you will be balancing your creative life with your normal working life and family time.  You might dream of one day quitting your day job and being a full-time writer, thinking that this will put an end to the juggling, but that's simply not the case, because as any professional writer will tell you, there are many things to juggle when you write full time - taxes, deadlines, different projects, promoting your work, writing synopses, meetings etc. 

Writing your first book is like an oasis of calm in comparison to what comes later! When you write your first book, you will usually be writing it on spec, with no publisher and no deadline, so you can take your time with it. Even if you write to commission, as I do, editors generally allow extra time for new authors to nail down that first book. They know it's hard work, so they give you space to get on with it. You are able to fully focus on that single project.

However, when you make writing your sole career, then by the time the first book is published you should already be writing the next one, plus you will be expected to complete a variety of other tasks as well, such as creating new book proposals, attending lunch meetings, responding to editorial queries, flat-planning new projects and so on. Not all these tasks will lead on to paid publishing contracts. Some will, but some will be discarded. That's just the nature of the game. 

In any one working day, I might be achieving a daily word count on the current project, then going through proofs of another book, while promoting the most recent drop, emailing editors to negotiate new contracts, invoicing accounts for monies due, dreaming up ideas and creating synopses for new projects, researching topics, mastering my taxes, editing copy to make sure it's as clean as can be, ready to send and so on. 

That's quite a lot of balls to juggle!  It can be easy to become overwhelmed, especially if your House works to a fast turnaround, like mine does. For example, the project I delivered at the end of June is already in its proofs stage, so I'll need to make time to go through those proofs and send my feedback to my editor, in addition to working on the current project, which also has a tight deadline.  Sometimes you just need to take a breath! 

The point is, that you will always be juggling your writing with other things, even if you write full time. Having swathes of free time to write books at a slow and steady pace is a pipe-dream, a remnant from the Victorian Literati era which simply isn't feasible in modern publishing. 

If you are easily overwhelmed, or an anxious person, a professional writing life might not be for you, but you can still write for fun. If, however, you hope to become a professional author one day, then my advice is to get used to juggling your writing with other responsibilities as soon as possible, because while the responsibilities might change, the juggling won't. You must be mentally and emotionally equipped to keep your balls in the air! 

The writing life can be quite stressful at times. That said, there is no better feeling than holding the final published copy of your book in your hands, and seeing it on shelves in bookstores, or anticipating the release of a project that you have poured your heart and soul into.  It's all worth it, because it really is the best job in the world! 

Happy Writing.

BB Marie x

BOOK NOOK; A Lesson In Vengeance by Victoria Lee

 "I know what she's going to say. She's been talking to Dr. Ortega, who has filled her ears with stories about my paranoia, my obsession with the Dalloway Five. It was no use explaining how all academic passions veer toward obsession. She wouldn't understand that magic can be a metaphor, like Ellis said. That magic doesn't have to be magic for it to mean something. That sometimes magic is a salve over a burn, and it's the only way you can heal." 

I have been deep into a Dark Academia phase of reading lately.  I don't know if it's the nostalgic back-to-school vibes I'm feeling, or the wet and stormy summer we've been having this year, but I have been very drawn to tales of murder and mystery in university settings. I can't seem to get enough of them, devouring one novel after another and dreaming of the cosy study days I used to spend in the common room at university, where we had deep purple velvet study booths to work in. I do miss that common room. On days pouring with rain, it was such a snug place to escape to on campus.

As it has been raining almost every day since St. Swithin's Day, I have been curling up at home with some great books and slowly making a dent in my tbr pile. This book, A Lesson In Vengeance, has held me captive for the last two days and I have enjoyed every moment of it.

Like most Dark Academia novels, the story takes place in a collegaite setting, this time in an exclusive boarding school for girls. Dalloway School is an elite finishing school for the well-bred girls of wealthy families. Unlike other finishing schools however, Dalloway has a magical history, being founded by the daughter of one of the Salem witches. It boasts an extensive library of magical texts and prides itself on its historical occult associations. 

Dalloway has an interesting past, being the school where five young students, known as the Dalloway Five, were mysteriously murdered in the 1700s, allegedly by the powers of witchcraft.  It is these five girls that our main character, Felicity, feels drawn to study for her thesis and to help her new friend, Ellis, research for her novel.  And so the two girls set about trying to prove that the girls were not murdered by magic, but in far more mundane ways, which were staged to look like magic.

Dalloway is an exciting school. For a start it has it's own secret coven, hosting occult meetings and initiations in dark, underground chambers. While this novel doesn't go into depth regarding magical practice, it does give a delicious flavour of magic and witchcraft, with different characters holding opposing views as to whether or not magic is real. Could the power of witchcraft really be enough to kill five girls in the eighteenth century, or were they murdered for being witches themselves, by a superstitious mob? Felicity and Ellis are determined to solve this mystery once and for all, yet as they experiment with various theories, they dabble in some very dangerous activities along the way.

This is a book of ghostly haunting, skulls, seances, psychopathy, midnight jaunts to the woods, a derelict church being used as a covenstead and witchy meetings in the middle of the night. It has plenty of red herrings to keep you guessing. Although I thought I had predicted the outcome, I was only half right, which was a lovely reading experience. I like it when a book surprises me.  All the way through, I was willing the main character to use her common sense and stop being so drawn in, because I could see what was coming - but the author had a satisfying trick up her sleeve which she kept hidden until the end and I really appreciated that. 

I will say that this novel, being set in a girls boarding school, does have the predictable lesbian sub-plot, but this isn't intrusive or overdone. The author even acknowledges it as a cliche, within the dialogue, which makes me wonder why she felt the need to include it at all, when a close friendship between the characters would have sufficed. 

However, I didn't like the sudden appearance of a non-binary character two thirds of the way through the book (likewise the lesbian parents), especially as this character didn't do anything to really serve the plot or move the story forward, and their contribution could have been written in a more authentic way between the original characters. I felt that these characters were written purely to tick the inclusivity/woke box, rather than as an authentic plot point, and as a result it felt quite clunky and unnecessary.  Also the subsequent they/their pronouns made the writing seem messy and I found that very irritating. That said, it is a very brief appearance by secondary characters, so it didn't ruin my overall enjoyment of the book.  It's worth keeping in mind though, if you don't want to read about that kind of thing. It's not going to be for everyone, and having such issues rammed down your throat when you least expect it, via a form of entertainment, can be extremely annoying. So skip this novel if you are likely to be overly offended by it. 

On the whole, I really enjoyed A Lesson In Vengeance. I loved the atmosphere of Dalloway School and the witchy undertones. The ending was very satisfying and the writing style was magnetic, drawing the reader into this dark, dangerous world of magic, mystery and murder most foul. I hope that the author writes more books in this setting. It would be fantastic if she wrote the actual novel, Avocet, as mentioned in the book and written by the character of Ellis - I'd really love to read that one!  We'll have to see what Victoria Lee comes up with next, but I shall be keeping an eye open for her future works.  Happy reading!

BB Marie x

AD; This book was sent to me by the publisher for the purposes of review. It is available now in all formats. 

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Slow Living With CFS

 

Sometimes you just need to sit down with tea and cake

It's a beautiful summer's day, with bright golden sunshine and a warm breeze dancing through the trees. It's one of those days that makes you want to lay in the sun, sprawled out like a lazy cat enjoying the last of the summer heat before the dark season returns.  It's a day for Sunday lunches, afternoon snoozing and slow living.

It's just over a year since I left my student job at the veterinary practice and I feel like I have been catching my breath ever since. There is no doubt that the long hours and enforced overtime were having a negative impact on my health and I am not sorry to be free of it. I worked there for four years and I do keep in touch with my friends from the practice, but I made the right decision in leaving.  At the time, people often asked me why I was leaving a secure job that could have lasted me a lifetime, in favour of the sporadic income of an author and the answer is simple - it's because working from home is good for my health. 

Living with any chronic illness is difficult, but living with, and going out to work with an invisible illness is an uphill struggle on a daily basis.  Having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or M.E means that I simply can't work long hours without triggering the illness.  CFS makes you feel like a car that is almost out of petrol, yet is expected to remain fully functional.  I need a lot of rest. Simple tasks that are easy for most people, such as vacuuming or changing bed sheets, are more draining for me, using up all my energy reserves, meaning that I need to rest afterwards.  

There are certain things that I just can't do anymore. Back in the day, I would go horse riding in the mornings, spend the afternoon writing my daily word count, then go off to a dance class at teatime, followed by an ice-skating class in the evening - all on the same day! I would follow the same routine several times a week.  Now I have to limit myself to one activity/outing every two or three days, with recovery days in between. Likewise, cleaning the house from top to bottom in a single day, is a thing of the past.  Now I have to pace myself, tackling one room at a time.  So you can imagine what 12-14 hour shifts were doing to me, over that four year period! I just couldn't wait to finish the Master's Degree, so I could leave the vets and get back to my writing life. 

Sadly, most employers are not sympathetic to workers who are living with such illnesses. They want as much as they can get out of their employees and don't really cut them a lot of slack, even if they have a valid reason for not wanting to work overtime etc.  However, if the government wants people to keep working into their late-sixties, this attitude really needs to change and employers will have to be far more accommodating and flexible for people with health issues.  

For me, it was always the plan to leave the vets as soon as I could return to my writing again. That was the whole point of doing the MA in the first place. I knew it would boost my opportunities with publishers if I had an MA in Creative Writing under my belt, and it certainly has done just that.  

Now I live a much gentler life. It has taken me about a year to reset my routines and mindset and to realize that I don't have to live in a state of high stress anymore. I genuinely believe that it has taken the past twelve months for my body and mind to release all the vet-stress it was holding onto, stress which had accumulated over the four years I worked there. Back then, I only had enough energy for the vet job and the MA. I had no energy left for life - for fun, for adventures however small, for hobbies and activities.  I worked and I studied and that's all.  Everything else was too much. It's no way to live. Recreation is important for our mental health and well-being. 

These days I live a much slower lifestyle, one that is more suited to the CFS and while I do still have some bad days, they are not as frequent or as many.  Making a living as a writer means that even on bad days when I need to rest, I can just grab my laptop and still get my work done. This is the advantage of self-employment and working from home as an author. I can rest when I need to, without fear of the boss, because I am the boss! Having that level of autonomy is vital for keeping on top of the illness.  

As the CFS seems to have worsened in recent years, whether that is due to the long days at the vets or a natural progression of the illness, I find that the hardest thing is accepting the little losses along the way. Accepting that I now have a limited capacity for activity is hard. I've always been a strong person, but CFS makes me feel weak as a kitten.  As much as I would love to exercise five horses in a day, jumping off and un-tacking one, before tacking up and riding off on another, as I did when I worked at the stables, that's just never going to happen again. I do still ride, but I certainly don't leap from one mount to another anymore!  I'm happy riding just one horse and then coming home to write.  

I have learnt to adapt. I know that if I have a busy day, I will need a recovery day the day after, so I can rest. I'll still be working and meeting my word count, but I won't have the energy for much else. Piano lessons are easier on me than riding, as it is naturally much more sedate. It's a more relaxed activity, but of course, I love both. Horse-riding, writing, music lessons, ice-skating - these are the activities that fulfill me the most and I get a lot from them.  They make me who I am.

That said, I have a much richer, fuller life now than I did when I worked at the vets, because writing doesn't take up all my energy, so after I've done working for the day, I still have enough energy leftover to enjoy myself. I go to music school for piano lessons, I go to concerts and ballets in the evenings, I see a film at the cinema or go out for a meal.  All of these things were virtually impossible when I was at the vets because I didn't have the energy reserves left over. I would wake up exhausted on my days off, because I'd worked multiple 12 hour shifts. I was giving everything to the job, and I had nothing left over to give to myself.  So it made sense to leave that world behind and focus on my writing, which is what I'd planned to do all along.

As summer draws to a close, the dark season is almost upon us and I have lots to look forward to. Having my autonomy back means that I can just book whatever takes my fancy, without consulting a rota or swapping a shift. I can just go wherever the mood takes me, so I have tickets to see the ballet, a concert and an afternoon tea. Autumn is theatre and show season and I intend to enjoy it to the max! 

I'll also be heading back to the stables after the summer holidays, so that I can ride all the pretty horses I love. I don't go mad in the saddle these days, but I always enjoy a good gallop through the woods, or making pretty patterns in the sand when schooling and doing flat work. I'm looking forward to being around the horses again and seeing my friends up at the yard. 

This autumn and winter will be quite busy work-wise, as I have lots more writing to do and new commissions to work on. My writing timetable is fairly full this year, with several projects to write, on topics both old and new. There are new book titles and another oracle deck dropping from me this autumn, so I am excited to know what peoples' reactions will be once the books are published. I'm going to be exploring various world mythologies and traditional magical practices over the next few months, but that is all I'm allowed to say for now.  Needless to say there will be many, many days when I am tucked away in my study, writing new books!

I'll certainly need the holidays I have planned! This year I am heading back up to Scotland, not once, but twice! I'm not going up to the Highlands though. Instead I'm going to explore more of the Lowlands and I can't wait. I find that Scotland is so restorative and the fresh mountain air does me the power of good.  I can't quite believe that I have two Scottish holidays booked this autumn and winter, and for the first time ever, I'm taking my mum with me too. We normally go on holidays separately, but as this is a rather special year, we decided to go together. I'm really looking forward to it, as we are going to parts of Scotland I have never visited before.  Autumn can't come quick enough for me. And yes I have scheduled in lots of Recovery Days to combat the CFS during all this gallivanting around. I'm just glad that, thanks to working from home, I finally have the energy to have a life!

If you struggle with a chronic illness I hope that this little blog post has helped you to see that you are not alone. Lots of people have health issues that the world cannot see, does not seem to acknowledge and which employers prefer to ignore, but I know that the struggle is real. Try to remember that you are not being lazy or difficult, you are simply trying to cope. Give yourself little things to look forward to, but remember to include time for recovery, as even happy events can be draining. 

Love and Blessings 

Marie x

BOOK NOOK; Gothikana by RuNyx

"She must have looked a ghostly sight with her white gown and long raven hair and the candlestick in her hand. Without stopping, she quickly descended the way she had come up, her heart beating in tandem with her footsteps, this time loudly on the spiral staircase, her gown and loose hair flowing behind her, probably making her look like a mad woman. What a first day it was turning out to be."

What can I say about Gothikana, except - what a surprise this book turned out to be! I was expecting it to be Dark Academia, and it is, but it is also very, very saucy, so much so that I would say it's for over 18's only and the disclaimer at the front of the book is in alignment with that. The language used is quite crude at times and this is an explicit book, so be prepared for that as you go into it. I wasn't at all prepared, so it took me completely by surprise, being somewhat more graphic than say, a Highland Guard novel for instance.  Having said that, it's a great story and it ticks all the DA boxes that I was looking for, so I've been tucking myself into bed with it every night for a week. 

As autumn is just around the corner I have been drawn to more Dark Academia of late, so when I remembered this book was waiting for me on my tbr shelves, I decided to give it a go. Gothikana is just the kind of DA book that I enjoy, with a added slice of spice! It takes place in an old castle, situated on top of a mountain, right on the cliff-edge, overlooking a deep forest and a large, dark lake.  As the title suggests, it is full of Gothic vibes, from the Collegiate-Gothic setting, to the anti-hero professor, to the witchy ways of Corvina, the main protagonist. 

The castle of the University of Verenmore is isolated, mysterious and said to be haunted by the ghosts of students who have disappeared over the decades. It has a reputation for driving its students mad, with more than one suicide to taint its history. At Verenmore, students lose all sense of reality, with little to no communication with the outside world.  Into this strange world comes Corvina, a strange girl in her own right, one who hears voices in her head and who sees shadows and spirits as she reads her deck of tarot cards, seeking answers to her questions. But everything that made her strange in the outside world, from her violet eyes to her precognitions, are the things that make her fit right in a Verenmore. 

When Corvina realises that she is deeply attracted to her professor, Vad, she determines to uncover not only the mysteries of the university, but also the mystery of her anti-hero teacher too. This sets her on a collision course with Vad, as they struggle to process the forbidden attraction that burns between them. So when another female student goes missing in the night and Vad falls under suspicion, Corvina needs to find out if he really can be trusted. 

This novel has all the best Dark Academia tropes that you could want - sexual misconduct, forbidden love, witchcraft, death cults, an isolated university with a complex history and ghostly apparitions stalking the hallways and bathrooms. The anti-hero is by turns tender and commanding, obsessive and possessive, strong yet gentle, and deliciously mercurial in the most infuriating way!  The story is well-paced and the main characters come to life, but the secondary characters are less well developed.  That said, there is a fantastic twist towards the end and the denouement arrives via the catalyst of a sexy masquerade ball, where anything goes, with all the Dance Macabre vibes. What's not to love?

I have enjoyed reading this novel and I will be looking out for the new prequel to it, that is out this summer. If you love Dark Academia then you will probably like this, although if you are easily offended by crude language, a domineering hero, or rampant sex scenes on a piano in a castle dungeon, you might prefer to skip this one! I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about my next piano lesson with James after reading Gothikana! Oh well, such is life. 

This is a book best read by candlelight with a glass of ruby red Merlot, while listening to Camille Saint-Saens Dance Macabre on repeat. Just don't get over excited or you might spill your wine! Enjoy. 

BB Marie x

AD;  This book was sent to me by the publisher for the purposes of review. It is out now and available in all formats. 

BOOK NOOK; In the Shadow of the Wolf Queen by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

 

"Ysolde strained to listen to the forest, but it was as though it was holding its breath, even the wind stilling a moment. A chill spread through her, but she knew not to rue her luck."

I was very kindly sent an ARC of this book by Hatchett/Orion Children's Books, which is one of the perks of being a book blogger and reviewer - free books!  It is by an author whose work I have read before and enjoyed, so I was eager to give this one a go.

In The Shadow of the Wolf Queen is the first installment of a new fantasy trilogy and it follows the fortunes of Ysolde, as she tries to find her sister, Hari, who was abducted by riders. Set in a beautiful world of forests and magic, where the trees speak their own language to those who have the gift of Listening, this book is a wonderful introduction to a new fantasy realm. 

In some ways it reminded me of The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, in others it was reminiscent of the Robin Hood fable.  It is nicely paced, with an ending that leaves you eager for the next book in the series, however, I'm not sure I'll remember the story that well by the time book two is published.  It is a well drawn fantasy novel and is perfect for the YA audience it is aimed at, but it didn't feel particularly memorable to me. Maybe I'll feel differently once I've read the whole series. I am looking forward to book two coming out in due course.

As with all of this author's work, the writing style is beautifully lyrical, almost poetic and she paints a vivid world with her carefully chosen words.The cover art is stunning and would look great face-out on a bookshelf.  It is a fairly short book, one that I read over a couple of afternoons, sitting in the garden. As this novel is filled with earth magic, I felt it was fitting to read it in the garden, surrounded by trees, with the birds chirping and the bees humming alongside me. All in all, it is a very pleasant read and a lovely book to take on holiday with you, or to sprawl in a park or garden with. Happy summer reading! In the Shadow of the Wolf Queen is published at the end of August. 

BB Marie x

AD; This book was sent to me by the publisher for the purposes of review. It is released on August 31st in digital, audio and hardcover formats and is available for Pre-Order now.