MUSICAL DOLL; Power Trip

Five months...

Hold up, no you didn't bow; Bow!

I ain't the chick to walk behind you round town

Just 'cause you're packing, packing woop down south

That don't mean I'm ever gonna take it lying down!

...You're the man, but I got the power...

Do you think about us?

Once upon a time...

Won't be long now.

MUSICAL DOLL; ME!

"I know that I went psycho on the phone..."

Only Taylor Swift could write a lyric like that!

Can't wait for her new album...

 xxx

ONCE UPON A DREAM; All Is Calm, All Is Bright

We may be long past Christmas, but right now all is calm, all is bright in my life...and it has been a long time coming! After several years of stress and negative influences clogging up my life, I now feel that my new bliss cycle has well and truly begun.  Christmas was a turning point for me; a time when I finally said "That's it, I'm done!" with certain situations and individuals.  Once I'd made the decision to leave them behind in 2018, 2019 began to offer up it's gifts to me instead. 

Although it's only just springtime, the year holds great promise. I am enjoying the few hours a week that I work at the practice.  I work with some of the nicest people I have ever met.  They are very sweet and kind - which is a big difference from the two years I spent with the tutor-from-hell!  This new role is allowing my gentle nature full sway; I no longer feel under threat or duress, so I am free to be myself, rather than being on my guard all the time, waiting for the next attack.   I have found a role in an environment that suits me, where my true Timotei-girl nature can shine, without fear of people taking advantage or exploiting that gentleness in any way.  

It is also nice to have a steady salary that I can rely on.  For years I have lived only from my writing income, but this can be quite stress inducing as I constantly have to chase commissions and payments etc.  Now I have the luxury of being employed and self-employed at the same time, which means I have the best of both worlds and it has meant that I've been enjoying some lovely shopping trips, treating myself to lots of feminine fripperies, which all help to make my life even more beautiful. 

My writing is back in full swing too, as I write my psychotherapy column every month, which I am really enjoying.  It's great to finally be writing regularly on a completely different topic.  It feels like I am flexing my writer's muscles once more, stretching out into a new genre and making my presence known there.   In addition, I have also been asked to write a regular piece for a successful counselling services practice, which means I have effectively got two regular psychotherapy commissions.  Two columns means twice the work, but it is a fantastic opportunity to make a name for myself in this sphere of writing; my editors are pleased with my columns and it's all going really well.  

The best of it is that any old enemies I have, have no idea who my new publishers and editors are, so there is no danger of them trying to piggy-back on my success, or when that doesn't work, of them trying to sabotage my good name with their envy.  Hatred and jealousy is a natural consequence of success in any field, but once it has been identified, it makes sense to protect yourself from it in future, which is why I don't mention who my new columns are for.  I keep all my writing cards close to my chest now.   I worked hard to get to where I am - I won't allow anyone to take it from me just because they are envious.  So my writing career has been ring-fenced and with it, my future prospects. 

I have lots of things to look forward to this year as well.  Ice-skating will recommence after the school holidays and I have a holiday to Loch Lomond booked for later this year, which I'm really looking forward to.  It will be wonderful to be back in Scotland once more and I can't wait to be out on a boat again, this time on the beautiful Loch Lomond.  I also have tickets to see Little Mix this autumn (because Ariana Grande was all sold out) so that will be fun.  And of course, I go back to University in September to begin my Masters Degree, which I am beyond excited about.  

So it would seem that my 'Midas-Touch ' is back in control and 'everything is just coming' to me again.  After years of having all the dead wood stripped from my life I am ready and eager for this period of new growth, which has touched all aspects of my life, both personally and professionally.  I now have a new job, a new income, a new publisher and editors, a new writing genre of qualified expertise bringing in new commissions, a new Master's Degree place at University, and holidays and concerts to look forward to.

I have even created a brand new professional blog!  I decided I wanted a new online space that was fresh and new, a place where I can write and which old enemies can't even find!  The new blog is all part of my fresh start, and while I still plan to post here on ShimmerCastDreams as my hobby writing,  I will also be building up the new professional blog as well.  It is still being tweaked, but it feels like a relief to have an online space which is far away from the prying eyes of those who are no longer in my life, or who think to use my blog for their own spiteful purposes. Or those who use this blog to check in with me, so that they don't have to make the effort to actually be in my life, in a real way.   So I have ring-fenced my life in the Blogosphere too.

Everything is new and fresh and clean.  Everything is pure and protected and free from spite, sabotage, negativity and time-wasters.  Free from prying eyes, gossip and lies, my life is a calm space of pure liberty and serenity.  All is quiet and bright and peaceful.  I couldn't be happier with how things are going for me now and I love my tranquil, positive, happy, successful life. 

So just because someone has attempted to ruin your life in the past, even if they managed to do temporary damage at the time, they will only win in the long term if you allow them to.  Ring-fence your assets, move onto new pastures where they can't find you to make you their target a second time and refuse to allow negative, spiteful people and their associates, into your life again.  

Living well is the best revenge and your enemies will only reap the life they deserve.  So look to a brighter future, put your prettiest face forward, remember that serenity reigns supreme and...

Because I'm a Bruce - 

I was born to rise above it and be regal. 

BOOK NOOK; The Witch Finder's Sister by Beth Underdown

The Witch Finder's Sister  by Beth Underdown is a fictional account of Mathew Hopkins sister. Although there is no historical evidence to say that he had a sister, there is also none to say he didn't, so this novel assumes that he did. Her name is Alice and when her newly-wed husband dies suddenly, she finds herself back in Manningtree, living on the charity of her brother, Mathew, who draws her into his self-appointed 'witch-finding' business. 

It is an interesting book and I enjoyed reading it.  The cover praises go a bit over the top in my opinion - I wouldn't say that the novel is 'terryfying', in fact I found it quite tame, but that could be because I have read a lot about the witch trials over the years, so I have probably become slightly desensitzed to it as topic. 

The author does a decent job of building up the fear of the characters, as Mathew Hopkins moves from village to village on his deathly progress and he meets a very fitting end at the finish of the book which is satisfying to the reader.  However, the author acknowledges that there is no proof that Hopkins had any connection to America and the Salam witch trials, so it seems strange that she should propogate that myth in her novel. Perhaps it is meant to be ironic, but I found it to be an unnecessary link between two different episodes of witch trials. 

The end papers of the book list the names of some of Mathew Hopkins' victims and there are historical documents incorporated into the novel, which makes for chilling reading.  The simplicity with which these women were dispatched, on no greater charge than that of hearsay and spiteful accusations from other villagers, is horrifying.  

These days we understand that the UK witch trials was a form of social cleansing - most of the victims were elderly women with no-one to speak for them and no means of self-support, so they were a drain on society.  Good Christian people couldn't be seen to refuse charity to their elderly parishioners, but hanging witches was perfectly permissible, thereby saving the village money in the long term and making money for the witch-finder - let's not forget that Mathew Hopkins worked on commission; no wonder he was so successful at finding and condemning 'witches' wherever he went!

For me the most chilling aspect of reading this novel lies in the realization that these issues haven't really gone away and still exist in our modern world.  The elderly and infirm are still viewed as a drain - you only have to look at the mess of the Social Care system to recognize that.  We still don't want to pay for the care and comfort of the elderly; consecutive governments have failed to provide adequate funding and people complain whenever their taxes go up.  In short, no-one wants to fund an aging population, and while we might not be hanging them as witches anymore, refusing certain operations and treatments to people over 70, or in the wrong post code, is surely just as bad.  So the social issues that fueled the witch-hunts of the past are still in existence, but these days we call it Austerity, not witchcraft. 

Sadly there are still people like Mathew Hopkins walking among us too - the finger-pointing fanatic who would stir up trouble for those they envy and are jealous of;  the spiteful woman, rallying her pals in a vendetta of gossip and lies against another female; the terrorists who are threatened by the freedom of the Western world - they are all cut from the same cloth as Mathew Hopkins.  It still goes on; we just name it differently. 

The Witch Finder's Sister is a fantastic novel for exploring these lingering similarities between their society and ours, which is probably why it's such a favourite title with book clubs.  It is a mirror of a book that makes you think and it is a great talking point too.   

I enjoyed the story of this novel and although it didn't scare me (finger-pointing fanatics really don't intimidate me, no matter who they are) I would say that it is quite chilling in places, especially where the historical documentation has been included, which is a hauntingly authentic touch that I haven't seen in any other novel dealing with Mathew Hopkins as a subject.  

So if you have an interest in the witch trials of the UK and you want to delve deeper into that world - or if you have a book club but no book - you might want to read this novel and take a good long look in the mirror. 

And to all the witches, past and present, Blessed Be, my sisters.

"Ever mind the rule of three; 

What thou sends out, returns to thee!"

BOOK NOOK; In The Night Wood by Dale Bailey

In the Night Wood is a literary novel steeped in pagan folklore, with a text that is lyrically poetic and intelligently verbose. Based on the Germanic fairytale of The Erl-King,  my copy is a beautiful hardback book with a silvery-blue metallic cover design, reminiscent of a tapestry.  This seems to be the current trend in publishing at the moment - cover art that looks like a William Morris print and such covers do make lovely books.  I like my books to be beautiful as well as interesting.  

This novel is like nothing I have ever read before.  There is an old house that is haunted, but not by a ghost; a crime that was committed long ago, but which still echoes through time; and a series of little lost girls who all look alike, who all have the same initial - Livia, Laura, Lissa and Lorna - and who are all linked in some way, but how?  There is a wood within a wood, a wall within a wall and a book within a book, which creates layer upon layer of storytelling narrative. Pathetic fallacy is evident throughout the text and is used very effectively to build atmosphere on the page.  It's intriguing. It draws you in and holds you spellbound. 

The main protagonist is Charles, who has a fascination with a Victorian novel called In The Night Wood.  Fate leads him to meet and marry the descendent of the author and when his wife inherits Hallow House, the house in which the book was written, they move to Yorkshire to take up residence and to try and build a new life together, following the death of their little girl.  

But there is a growing feeling of oppression from the forest that surrounds the house and as Charles begins to research more about his favourite book and it's author, he discovers that the woods hold onto a dark secret of pagan origin - for in the wood within a wood, he meets none other than the Horned God and King of the Woods, Cernnunos.   In this novel though, the pagan deity assumes his spookier aspect of Lord of Death and the Underworld and he is demanding sacrifice. 

With secret codes to break and Gothic mysteries to unravel, it's a fantastic novel of spooky brilliance.  Like most modern literary novels, its fairly short in length, but it is definitely a page turner and well worth reading, especially if you like a pagan twist in the tale.  It certainly kept me entertained through the stormy weather that is currently raging around my house right now, and I found myself humming  Hoof and Horn, from my Moonchants album as I read.  It's a stormy book, perfect for a stormy night...enjoy!

BOOK NOOK; The Beast's Heart by Leife Shallcross

"Anyone who has ever fallen in love will know that when the realisation strikes - that you love that person above all others and want to spend the rest of your days by their side - this is accompanied by an urge to run and shout it from the mountaintops." 

from The Beast's Heart

If you have been reading my work for a while, you will probably be aware that I adore fairytales and in recent years there has been a publishing trend for classic fairytales being retold as full length novels.  This, The Beast's Heart, is a novel of Beauty and the Beast, but it is told entirely from the Beast's perspective.  It is a very beautiful book, gilded all over with golden leaves on the covers, so it makes a very pretty addition to my ever growing collection of fairytale hardbacks and collector's editions.

The novel begins right after the curse has been cast, when the Beast finds himself wandering in the forest, confused, grieving and all alone.  He lives like an animal for some time, but then his true nature begins to take over, leading him back to his beloved chateau on the edge of the woods.  There he struggles to regain what is left of his humanity, in a house that has been enchanted to provide for his every want and need. He has everything he could wish for - except companionship.

So when a lost traveller happens across his chateau one freezing, snowy night, the Beast takes the opportunity to demand payment for his hospitality in the form of the traveller's daughter.  And so begins the familiar tale we all know from childhood.  When Isabeau arrives, the Beast does his best to woo her, asking her repeatedly to marry him, but although she is growing increasingly fond of the Beast, although she loves him in her heart; due to his circumstances, she always refuses him.  

They spend their days getting to know one another gradually. She plays piano and sings for him; he reads romance and poetry to her. 

The Beast has a magic mirror which he uses to keep an eye on Isabeau's family while she is absent.  He spends hours just watching them, learning what he can about her family-life and upbringing. 

In this respect the magic mirror reminds me of the Internet, where we can see the daily activities of loved ones who are often miles away, sometimes right across the globe.  How easy it is to become mesmerised by the visions of those we love, within the magic mirror of the screen; haunted by images of those we know, yet never see; of those we love, but who have left, for whatever reason.

As the Beast watches Isabeau's father succumb to depression and then illness, he relents and allows her to go home for one week, but when she fails to return at the appointed time, he falls into a deep despair and fears that she is lost to him for good.  All he wants, is to know that she will come back to him, as soon as she is able to do so and that she hasn't forsaken him and left him for good. All he needs is that reassurance - just a seed of hope that she will return to him eventually and that they will go on as they did before. 

When that reassurance doesn't come in time, the Beast wilts into the deep pain of loss, finding himself collapsed on the ground and alone in the woods once more.  Will his Beauty come back in time to save him?  You'll have to read the novel to find out. 

Beauty and the Beast is one of my favourite fairytales and I have read other novel versions of this story, which you can read about here.  I like the way it portrays unconditional love and how Beauty has to become comfortable with the Beast, in all his moods and tantrums, before she can settle down with the Prince, once the curse is broken.  The Beast's Heart is a lovely rendition of this classic tale and I hope that the author is going to write more fairytale novels in the future, because I enjoyed this one immensely. 

ONCE UPON A DREAM; University Place - Stepping Stones Part 2

Today I got the long awaited news that I have been offered an unconditional place at university for the higher level course that I applied for back in December 2018.  This is the next major stepping stone for me, on a path I started way back in 2013, when I went quite out of my way, just to get to this point in time.  Now it is starting to feel like it was all worth it.  This course, and hopefully the career it will lead to,  was my long term goal all along. 

I'm thrilled and excited.  The only thing that can stand in my way now is not getting a student loan to pay the fees, but I'm remaining positive and optimistic.  Such loans exist for a reason and as I already have a written offer of an unconditional place, I think this will go in my favour with the SLC. 

I didn't even have to attend an interview!  My place has been granted to me based solely on the samples of work that I sent in with my application, which is in itself a kind of validation that I am exactly where I'm meant to be and heading in the right direction.  I trust that my path will be smoothed out for me and that everything will fall into place, as it always has before.  This letter was like a happy bolt out of the blue - Fate stepping in to see me through.  I love it when that happens.

So, in September of this year I will be returning to my studies once more, this time at University.  I'm really looking forward to it and I can hardly believe that I have come this far and that I will be beginning my Masters Degree in just six months time!  It feels very surreal - and a little daunting if I'm being totally honest.  But this was my goal - a goal I've dreamed of for years and years, and this course should put me in a much stronger position to get to where I ultimately want to be and to achieve one of my main life-long ambitions.  No pressure then! 

From now on, it will be onwards and upwards, climbing a new academic mountain and braving new territory as I begin to move closer to making my ambitions my reality once again. Six months from now I be will swanning around university campus, wearing a university scarf, and no doubt stressing over essays again - but I am looking forward to it.   I feel very grateful for this opportunity.  I have worked hard over the last five years to deserve it and to earn the right to a place on a Masters Degree.  September 2019 can't come quick enough for me! Never stop wishing and dreaming and aiming high.  Blessed be.