WRITER'S DREAM: My Egyptian Oracle Deck!

 

"To help the deceased to pass over, special scrolls would be placed in the tombs, or painted onto pyramid walls. These scrolls were inscribed with spells, chants and incantations and were basically instructions that would guide the deceased on their way and ensure a safe crossing into the afterlife. When one such text, known as the Papyrus of Ani, was discovered in the 1800’s it was dubbed The Egyptian Book of the Dead. This oracle deck is inspired by that scroll and is designed to be a positive tool for enlightenment." 

from The Egyptian Book of the Dead Oracle.

Last spring, when my editor asked me if I was interested in inventing an oracle deck based around Egyptology and mythology, The Egyptian Book of the Dead more specifically, I jumped at the opportunity.  It is a subject that fascinates a lot of people, including me. My scholarly heart leapt in excitement at the chance to lock myself away in my study, absorbed in the history of Egypt - its ancient culture, hieroglyphics and the Egyptian pantheon of deities.  

I spent the early summer of 2023 poring over tomes of hieroglyphics and researching their meaning. I read a copy of The Egyptian Book of the Dead which my publisher had sent to me. I carefully studied the gods and goddesses of the pantheon and how they worked together or opposed one another.  

Egyptology is a very academic subject and I needed all my university training to tackle it! It can be quite a dense and dry topic, but I loved having the chance to do a deep dive into it. It was also suggested that as my Celtic Magic oracle had been so well received, that there could be other mythology topics on the cards for me too, but Egypt was to be covered first of all.  

I threw myself into the topic, eager to deepen my understanding of ancient Egypt and to do a good job on the project.  I wanted to maintain the scholarly, academic aspect of Egyptology, yet at the same time I was fully aware that I needed to invent an oracle deck that would make sense to a contemporary audience.  

When I am deeply absorbed in an ancient mythology, it can sometimes be tempting to forget that I am writing for modern readers. In its tone of register therefore, my work has to reflect both aspects of the topic - its history and its place in the current market. Its a fine line to tread.  If I lean too far towards the dense, academic tone of register I will lose my reader's attention, but on the other hand, if I make it too modern or simplistic, then I will not have done justice to the richness of the ancient culture and mythology that the oracle is meant to represent.  A lot of thought and forward-planning has to go into inventing an oracle deck like this one, in order to maintain this fine balance. 

To this end I decided to include epigraphs at the beginning of each chapter of the book. These epigraphs are quotations taken directly from The Egyptian Book of the Dead by  E. A. Wallis Budge, who translated the original Papyrus of Ani.  He worked at The British Museum as the Keeper of the Department of Egyptian and Assyrian Antiquities from 1894 to 1924.  So although he is a long time dead, it is due to the inclusion of these quotations that he is cited as the co-author of this oracle and I am truly honoured to share that space with him.  I feel that his translations of the Papyrus of Ani that I have quoted, give this deck a deep authenticity. It is a respectful nod to the vast history of Egyptology behind the project. I had a lot of fun reading through The Egyptian Book of the Dead, finding just the right quotation for each chapter. 

Inventing an oracle deck is always a lot of fun. From the initial concept, to the pitch, to creating the outline, there is a lot that goes into the process. Creating the cards and their meanings is extremely intuitive work. I would say it's almost like channeling - the deities know what they wish to represent within the deck and what specific messages they want to get across.  I certainly felt like I was a Scribe of Thoth as I wrote this oracle into being, one card and chapter at a time!

I gave myself entirely to this project for several weeks, researching, reading, finding quotations for epigraphs, outlining, tinkering and finally, getting it down on paper as a completed book and card deck.  It was a wonderful project to work on. The Egyptians were a little bit spooky, a little bit ethereal and enchanting, always powerful and majestic. I hope that comes across in the Egyptian Book of the Dead Oracle deck that I have created.  I wrote three mythology projects last year, but this is the first one to drop and it's out now. I hope you like it and have as much fun with it as I did in inventing it.

My Norse Magic book and Classical Mythology Oracle are both currently available for Pre-Order too! Oh and my book of Glamour Magic has also just been released this spring - and its pink!!! 

I'm currently working on exciting new books as we speak, but in the meantime see all the links provided below to discover which of my latest books are out now and which new titles are forthcoming this year...

Blessed Be

Marie xx

AD: The Egyptian Book of the Dead Oracle Deck is out now.

       Glamour Magic is also out now. 

The Classical Mythology Oracle Deck will be released on 1st October 2024 and is available for Pre-Order now. 

Norse Magic will be released on 1st November 2024 and is available for Pre-Order now.

MUSICAL DOLL; Girls Aloud Tour!

 

It's after midnight and I have just got home from seeing the Girls Aloud tour.  It was my first time going out-out since my riding accident and it was just what I needed.  I glammed up my post operative splints with a rose corsage, doped myself up on pain relief medication and off I went! Nothing was going to stop me from attending, not even being in recovery from an accident.

The show was well worth seeing. The Girls performed all their biggest hits and I had such a great time. They opened up with Untouchable, wearing all white sparkly costumes, complete with ruffles and feathers galore, against a pretty pink backdrop. It was such an elegant and feminine start to the show.  The concert seemed to include all the tracks from their Ten album and it was a real bop. They had pyrotechnics and laser lights that illuminated the stage like a huge disco. Everyone was up dancing and singing and the atmosphere was incredibly joyful.

Of course there were several tributes to Sarah Harding, the band member who sadly died of breast cancer in 2021. She didn't even reach her 40th birthday, which is immensely sad. The tributes were very moving and I had tears rolling down my cheeks at one point, because I had honestly expected her to come through the illness and live well again on the other side of it, just like my mother and Kylie both did when they had the same illness. It was sad, beautiful, tragic, but also wonderful to see that she is still as much a part of the band as ever, singing her vocals on the big screen, with certain lyrics played on a loop to create a moving refrain. Everyone was holding up their phones to create a sea of light that looked like stars in a dark sky. It was incredibly touching and not something that I will ever forget. The tour program also includes a page dedicated to the Sarah Harding Breast Cancer fund, with details on how you can donate.  So she is still making her presence felt and shining a light of goodness into the world. 

My favourite part of the show was when the Girls came up through the stage on motorbikes, which then flew out into the audience as they performed Wake Me Up, which was just brilliant! I loved that. I've never seen it done with flying motorbikes before.  They performed all my favourite songs such as The Show, Love Machine, Call the Shots, Can't Speak French and The Loving Kind. Then they finished with The Promise, complete with a glitter drop fall and cannon fired streamers. It was all just wonderful and although it was great to see the band as a whole, Cheryl has always been my favourite, so I'm delighted that I finally got to see her perform live. That was a real treat and I felt quite starstruck!

I picked up a couple of souvenirs, including the program, the tote bag and a travel cup that has the lyrics "I got my cappuccino to go" written on it, from the song Biology. It was a really fun night out and their tour isn't over yet, so if you get the chance to go and see them I would encourage you to go. It's a brilliant concert, very moving and incredibly fun too. 

I had a fantastic time! I'm feeling a little drained now though and I need to rest my wrists, so I'm off to bed to read my tour program. Night night. 

BB Marie x

PONY TALES; My Riding Accident

 

"An accident doesn't define a rider - their recovery does."

An old riding adage.

I have been conspicuous by my absence on this blog in recent months and for very good reason. I had a bad riding accident, leading to quite serious injuries.  I'm no stranger to coming off a horse. I've had many falls over the past four decades that I have been riding, and I accept it as being a natural aspect of equestrianism. It is, after all, a high risk sport.  

I started riding when I was ten years old and in the years since, I have landed myself in A&E on several occasions. Up until now, the worst injury I sustained was a fractured rib when a pony called Brandysnap threw me onto a stone wall when I was eighteen. Other than that, I've had strains and sprains, or bruises from bites and kicks and falls, but nothing else. Nothing that has prevented me from getting straight back on again. Until a few weeks ago.

Back at the beginning of March, I went riding as usual. It's been a very bad winter for mud this year and the ground has been difficult for months. Maybe that was a factor.  Because the truth is, I still don't know exactly what happened.  I was riding my usual horse who has a reputation for being a bit clumsy. He is a beautiful and gentle-spirited equine, with absolutely no malice in him. I loved riding him, though his clumsiness means that he can be challenging. 

He has slipped in the mud before, leading me to injure my coccyx on the cantle. That was back in Oct/Nov time last year. I took a month off to heal, then got back in the saddle, happy to be back and riding him once more. Anyone can slip in the mud, even a horse. On the whole, I enjoyed our rides, especially hacking him in the woods. He loved the forest tracks and would swing along at a nicely balanced gallop. He never once slipped with me in the woods. He never tripped over the tree roots strewn across the forest paths. He felt sure-footed and safe up there.  When schooling him however, he was constantly tripping and slipping, partly because the weather had turned the surface into a bit of a quagmire. It was in the school that I injured my coccyx.  And it was there that I had my accident. 

I hadn't been in the saddle long, but he was nicely warmed up. We went into a good working trot ready to transition into a canter, in preparation for jumping.  Obviously, I was posting as we trotted, then suddenly I felt him trip. He does that a lot, but usually he catches himself and we just carry on. However, on this occasion he didn't manage to recover.  The feel of a horse dropping like a stone underneath you is pretty horrific. Never in all my years of riding has a horse fallen beneath me, nor have I witnessed it happen to any of my equestrian friends either. 

But on that particular morning - he dropped and I remember thinking, "Shit! He's going down!" His forelegs tangled underneath him, his head and neck bowed low - he didn't so much fall, as plummet. The momentum of the speed we were going, and the loss of the horse beneath me, meant that the trajectory threw me clean over his head.  I have been thrown over a mounts head before, a few times, but usually there is something to break my fall - be it a show-jump, a fence or the wall that fractured my rib!  

This time there was nothing to break my fall. I remember the sight of the ground coming up to meet me really, really fast - and I was flying head first into it. I tried to curl up to protect my neck and head, but there wasn't time. I hit the floor - my arms tucked underneath me, as the solid brim of my riding hat plunged into the ground, protecting my face but reverberating  back against the bridge of my nose. The impact of the fall shuddered through my neck, shoulders and collar bones. I felt both my wrists break as I landed. 

As I rolled to sit up, I immediately began to hyperventilate and I had the worst nose-bleed of my life.  Luckily the brim of my riding hat had saved me from breaking my nose too, but I knew my wrists were basically...well, fucked, to put it bluntly.  I could see the horse was fully recovered and stood quietly watching from the sidelines. I felt relieved that he wasn't broken - that  his legs were good and he wasn't about to get shot by a vet. That was a big relief to me. He was safe. It was me who was broken.    

Obviously I had gone into shock by this point. I was in a such a broken state that I had to be cut out of my clothes. Again, being so injured that you have to be cut out of your clothes is a horrific experience. The stable girls cutting off my gloves and snipping back the sleeves of my riding top, revealed the extent of my injuries, because both my wrists were all bent out of shape. I couldn't hold so much as a tissue, so one of the girls rang my mum, who came and drove me to the hospital. In hindsight, they really should have rung an ambulance for me, but they didn't. I sat in A&E for three hours, without any pain meds - even having xrays with no pain relief offered at all. Eventually we had to ask for some meds, to which the nurse apologized profusely and said I should have been given pain relief before the xrays.  

My mum and I spent the whole day in A&E, while they looked after me and came up with a treatment plan. I had a lovely ginger-haired doctor who told me that my wrists were so badly broken, they'd basically been shattered by the impact. In short, they had crumbled in a concertina effect. At this point I cried like a baby and told him "But I'm a writer! I write books for a living! When can I type again?" He said that he was going to put on temporary casts to stabilize the wrists, but because they didn't have a bed for me that night, I would have to come back the next morning to have emergency surgery on both wrists.  He doped me up on morphine and gave me gas and air while he and a male nurse used brute strength to try and pull my wrists straight, so that another nurse could apply the casts. He told me he'd see me the next day and that they would fix me properly, so that I could both write, and hopefully ride again, in time. 

The next day I had surgery to reconstruct my shattered wrists, rebuilding them with metal plate implants, held in place with screws.  I was in theatre for four and a half hours. Laid on the bed, being wheeled from theatre up to the ward, I saw the ginger-haired doctor again in the corridor. I called out to him "Ginger!" I said. I'd forgotten his name. He did tell me, but I still can't recall it. All I remember is his kindness, making me feel calm and safe. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked me.

"Happy." I said. I meant high.

"Good! We like it when patients are happy!" 

"I think I'm on drugs. I've never been on drugs before. I quite like it, but don't tell anyone!"  I giggled like a maniac. 

He laughed, looked at my chart and said "Yes, you're on some very strong pain relief. It's going to make you feel very sleepy soon, but I'll pop into the ward to see you before I go, okay?"  

He was a lovely doctor and he did indeed pop up to the ward to see me before he went home from his night shift, but I was fast asleep by then, so I missed him. The nurse told me he'd been though, so I know he kept his word. 

They kept me in hospital for a while, because initially I couldn't do anything for myself. I couldn't feed myself, I had to drink through a straw and I needed the nurses to help me with everything. This is because I had dressings from my elbows to my fingers and I couldn't hold anything or use my hands at all. When they discharged me, it was to my mum's house because I still needed lots of assistance, so she picked up the nursing duties where the hospital staff left off.  I couldn't have got through the past few months without my mum. She's been a real brick and we've been joking that I finally became a boomerang kid at the age of 50! We've had such a laugh, living together again. We watched the whole of The Crown seasons 1-5, the first series of The Gilded Age and lots of Gogglebox. It was such fun. Like Charles Dickens said "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times". 

I stayed with my mum for two months, then finally came home to live alone, once I could look after myself and do most things for myself again.  It's not over yet though. I still have to wear wrist splints when I go out, to protect my wrists, I still have to go back to the hospital for regular physiotherapy and check ups, I have physio exercises that I have to do three times a day and medication to take. My recovery is going to take months, until well into the autumn, but I have surprised myself, my mother and the doctors with my resilience.  While I haven't fully recovered yet and there are still lots of things I'm not yet allowed to do, driving for instance, or lifting things, I have bounced back quite quickly. I'm proud of myself for that.

I even managed to get my Oxford University assignments written, with two semi-broken wrists all bandaged up after surgery! And they passed too! I'm now well into Trinity term and I am thoroughly enjoying the course and my studies with Oxford so far. It is proving to be a great experience. 

My editor and publisher have also been fantastic, sending me cards and chocolates as I recovered and telling me that they were happy to hold off commissioning until I was well enough to write again. That day came last week and I now have commissions for new books to write and to be getting on with.  I couldn't wish for a better editor. She really is the best. They've also asked me to write an extended edition of one of my books, for a special silk-bound gift-edition, which is such a thrill. So three months after my accident, I'm back at my desk and soon to begin writing new books! Now that's bounce-back-ability!

In terms of riding, I'm going to be out of action for a good while yet. It may be that my wrists are never strong enough to hold a head-strong horse, or that I never regain enough flexibility in them to carry my own weight for the dismount - and if I can't get off, then I shouldn't be getting on! It could be that I'm unable to ride at all, because of those injuries. I certainly won't be able to ride again for the remainder of this year. Hopefully, if I work at my physio I will get my wrists back to a place where riding is an option for me once more. The doctors certainly seem optimistic about it, if a little cautious in saying yes or no. I must confess that part of me is already itching to get back in the saddle! 

But I am also acutely aware of how very lucky I have been. Being thrown from a horse at that speed and at that trajectory means that I was lucky not to break my neck. I'm not exaggerating here. This is how riders finish up in wheelchairs  - or dead. 

Just this weekend a professional rider was killed at a horse show in Devon. So a fall isn't due to a lack of riding ability and injury isn't just a case of having 'soft bones'. Its a dangerous sport and the risks should never be underestimated. 

I have been very, very lucky. My riding hat, with it's solid brim, saved me from a broken nose and a more serious head injury, leaving me with only a mild concussion, two black eyes and a bad nose-bleed. My broken wrists are what saved my neck, literally sacrificing themselves instead of my vertebrae. My mood dips when I think of what could have happened to me, so I try to look on the bright side.  Its early days and I'm still recovering - mentally, emotionally and physically. My wrists have a long way to go before they are fully healed and fully functional. My collar bones, although they were not broken, now have a nasty habit of painful clicking that they didn't have before. I still have dizzy spells that I didn't have before too. All this has added yet another layer to the PTSD and I do have flashbacks and bad dreams about the accident and the fall. I am not unscathed by it, but nor am I completely dejected by it either.  I'm too much of a Bruce for that! 

I will just have to see how it goes. I certainly won't be back in the saddle until next year at the earliest, and I'll be looking for a different yard when I do go back! So for now, riding will have to take a back seat, while I focus on my Oxford studies and writing my new books.  It has been quite an adventure though! And I lived to tell the tale 😃

My riding hat certainly saved my life, so if you ride, make sure you always wear one, with the straps secured properly. 

BB Marie x 

ONCE UPON A DREAM; OXFORD UNIVERSITY!!!

Dominus Illuminatio Mea - The Lord Is My Light

I have always believed that being a bookworm can open many doors, because reading broadens the mind and teaches us to think in terms of possibility rather than limitation.  This theory was proven true for me last autumn.  Having spent the last few years immersing myself in novels of Dark Academia, as well as the Masters Degree,  my mind began to toy with the notion of what it would have been like to study at a named university such as Oxford or Cambridge. How would it feel to be a thread in the tapestry of such a prestigious institution of learning, to become a student there and to play a small part in its great history?  How does it feel to be an Oxbridge student and does it alter how others perceive you, or how you perceive yourself? 

In the world of Dark Academia novels, the students are surrounded by historical splendor and they frequently come from well-off families with an affluent background. This elite type of education has historically been reserved for the privileged few, yet it is something that lots of people aspire to. 

The thing about immersing yourself into a specific genre of fiction, is that it stays with you, long after the last page has been read. As I made my way through the DA genre, allowing my imagination to be transported to these elite seats of learning and affluence, my subconscious mind was already simmering up a possibility-brew, long before my conscious mind became aware of it. This is usually when the magic happens - when your mind is tuning into a frequency you didn't even know was in the air!  This is also just the way my Bruce mind works. While most people would only pipe-dream about doing something, I start making plans to achieve it and then I take action on those plans. After all, that is how crowns and wars are won - by taking carefully planned strategic action.

So, in summer last year I actually applied to Oxford University, filling out the relevant forms and sending in copies of my Psychotherapy and Masters Degree certificates to prove my academic credentials.  My editor studied at New College Oxford and she was very encouraging, vouching for the quality of the teaching and the brilliance of the Dons. Personally, I wasn't really expecting to get anywhere, but in September I was offered a place on the course I had applied for! To say this came as a shock would be an understatement. I am not the sort of person who studies at Oxford, being from a working class background and although the course is online, it still seemed like a bit of a stretch.  I certainly wasn't counting on acceptance. In fact, I was expecting a rejection. 

When the email came through with the Offer, you could have knocked me down with a feather. I printed it out and showed it to my mum when I next saw her, just to make sure I hadn't misread it. I hadn't. Oxford University, the oldest university in the UK, dating from 1096, were reserving me a place and awaiting the fees, which I duly paid. Its a self-funded course, so there are no student loans available to pay the fees, and being Oxford, it is rather expensive, but I knew it would be such a valuable experience that I just had to do it. 

And from that moment on, I was in a bit of a daze - partly from the hit to my bank balance! But also from the dawning realization that I was about to become an Oxbridge student at the tender age of 50! lol How mad is that?  My place was reserved for the January intake of students, so I was all set to begin studying again at the start of Hilary term.  

My mother was over the moon, my editor was delighted - and I was in a state of shock. It didn't sink in for quite a while. I distracted myself with my work, throwing myself into my writing. Interestingly, I didn't pick up a single Dark Academia novel after I received the Offer letter! Those things had proven far too dangerous and look where they'd led me! 

I think I was having a crisis of confidence, wondering if maybe this time, the Bruce ambition had gone a bit too far. Was I setting myself up to fail? Was I over-reaching? Was I really clever enough for Oxford? 

I put it to the back of my mind and enjoyed my birthday and Yuletide celebrations. Then, at the beginning of January I received my first email from my new tutor, the Don who is the course leader, with instructions on how the course would run, what my obligations were as a student and ending with the words "We look forward to welcoming you to Oxford". 

Although I am used to the world of academics and quite comfortable within a collegiate university setting, I felt the weight of Oxford pressing down on me - or maybe it was the weight of impostor syndrome. Whatever it was, I felt it. The expectation, the pressure to do well, the need to excel and to prove myself worthy of my place at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. It's a lot to take in and even more to live up to. 

But as Hilary term drew ever closer, I began to get excited rather than nervous. I began to see it as a fabulous opportunity, not a disaster waiting to happen.  I knew that I was about to follow in the footsteps of the great writers who had also studied at Oxford University, authors whose work I have loved and admired for most of my life - C S Lewis, J R R Tolkien, Lewis Carrol, Oscar Wilde, Philip Pullman and Percy Bysshe Shelley, who was actually expelled for his non-conformist atheist views!  Now I was about to be a part of that same environment of learning that had produced some of literature's finest novelists and poets.  It's awe-inspiring and incredibly exciting. 

I'm not going to lie, when it was time for the first class to take place, all the nerves returned and so did the impostor syndrome, but within just a few minutes of absorbing the learning materials and the syllabus that we would be following, the nerves drained away and I felt like I'd found a place where I could grow intellectually and develop my expertise as a writer. The assignments don't look scary to me, because I'm used to writing essays and dissertations. However, the first assignment is due in on the same day as the deadline for my next book, so its going to be a very busy time! But I don't mind that and I'm up for the challenge. 

Our Don is lovely. He's very knowledgeable and there is a marked difference in the caliber of the teaching at Oxford, in comparison to other universities. I noticed the superiority of the delivery and the course materials immediately. That's not to say that my local universities are bad, because they aren't. They just don't have Oxford's magic or the same weight of authority. 

So far I am really enjoying the course and I'm so glad that I was Bruce enough to apply! I'm not counting my chickens with regards to passing, but I feel that I am learning a lot and stretching the neuroplasticity of my intellect in a positive way.  It would be lovely to be able to go down to Oxford too, because now that I am a student there I am allowed to use their library, which would be wonderful. I just don't know if I'm going to have the time to fit in another trip, as I have a lot of writing work to do, as well as my studies.  Still, I do have access to their digital library, which is great, so I won't be too upset if I can't visit in person. It would be nice though. The Bodleian beckons! 

I remember back when I was studying the Masters Degree and Patrick McGuiness, an Oxford Don and one of our Visiting Fellows, came in to give a lecture. He gave us a taste of what an elite university like Oxford can offer. I recall thinking that he had sprinkled some of his Oxford magic on us and that that was the closest I'd ever get to studying at Oxford University myself. How wrong I was! 

Maybe that was the initial seed that germinated and it has taken the past few years for it to bear fruit, nurtured by my interest in the Dark Academia genre. It always leaves me wonderstruck when life plays out in such a magical way. Back in 2020/21, immersed in the MA, I thought of Oxford as no more than a pipe-dream, a place I read about in books, somewhere our Visiting Fellows came from, like a far off land full of mystery. Now in 2024, I'm an Oxford student! Life is full of surprises.

I hope this post has inspired you in some way and helped you to see that it is never too late to try something new and that there is no age limit on achievement.  Keep only those around you who want to see you rise and succeed.  Discard those who try to keep you small, or who want you to remain at a lower level in life because that is what they are most comfortable with. You don't have to be an underachiever just because someone else is. If they refuse to accept or support your growth and achievement then get rid of them! 

If they are habitually offended by your success, it is because they don't have your best interests at heart, whatever they might say to your face. Discard them. They don't deserve a place in your life and they will only hold you back, or envy your success and achievement. Frankly, you don't need the drag of a dead weight pulling you down. 

My New Year intention was to stop working weekends and bank holidays, but I've already compromised with myself on that! Although I'm still trying not to do any publishing work at the weekends, I now spend Saturdays and Sundays studying and doing all my work for Oxford instead.  So its a very busy time. I don't know if I'm smart enough to pass this course, but I'm going to give it my very best shot. 

Whatever happens, at least I will have had the experience of studying at Oxford University, following in the footsteps of Tolkien and C S Lewis - and that is not something to be sniffed at. So far, I'm having the blue-stocking time of my life!

Bright Blessings

Marie x 

PONY TALES; Winter Riding

 

Winter can be a challenging time for equestrians. Everything takes so much longer, from de-icing the car before you can drive up to the yard, to tacking up with fingers that are already frozen.  Yet, despite this, autumn and winter are my favourite time of year to ride. Part of it is the nostalgia of my teens when I worked at an equestrian center. The winter days were short and cold, the work was twice as hard and very heavy, but there was always a tinge of cosyness about the yard during the darkest time of year, as we huddled together in the tack room for hot chocolate, or worked up a glow laying down fresh bedding in the stables to keep the horses warm and snug.  The camaraderie was strongest during the dark of the year. With show-season over, old rivalries faded and frenemies became friends once more. 

 As the weather has been either cold and frosty, or wet and stormy for the past few months, its gets harder for me to drag myself out of bed in the morning and drive up to the stables. I know its going to be hard going, with the ground either too frozen or too boggy to do very much. We don't have an indoor school where I ride, so we are always open to the elements. Difficult going can make things difficult for the horses too and they will often trip over the frozen ridges -  or their own feet!  If you've never sat a horse when it trips, then the best way I can describe it to you is to say: its that feeling you get when your feet slip out underneath you on an icy day, but with a much bigger drop to the ground and the possibility of your mount landing on top of you!  Your heart leaps, your tummy flips over and its difficult not to tense up in anticipation of a fall, but of course, that's exactly what you shouldn't do.  You need to stay relaxed and trust that your horse will find his feet again, which they generally do. It takes a lot to knock a horse off his feet. 

Isn't he a beautiful boy?!

Riding out in a storm can be quite daunting and ponytails are a must for both horse and rider so that we can see where we are going!  Horses hate the wind, so when I was riding during storms Isha and Jocelyn, it was quite tricky to keep my mount nice and calm. From a horse's perspective, the trees become shaking scary giants and there are lots of puddle monsters just waiting to get him! The familiar world becomes a scary place to him, the shelter he would normally find in the trees has turned into a fearsome forest, offering no shelter at all. 

It can be tough to keep them from bolting, shying or generally playing up, but they aren't being naughty. They're just being horses. You need to build trust, so that your horse knows you will keep him safe in the storm and that you won't ask him to go through any puddles that have monsters lurking in them! A steady hand, a firm leg, a good seat and a very soft voice are all required. Singing can also help. Nervous horses love a good lullaby! It soothes their troubled spirit. 

The woods at this time of year is always a delight.  On frozen winter days it can be like riding through a winter wonderland, when the trees have been silvered with hoar frost and each blade of grass is picked out in silver-white. Everywhere you look, Jack Frost has made his presence felt, decorating the trees long past Yuletide.  Your breath clouds in the air, mingling with that of your horse and the chill puts roses in your cheeks as you ride.  

Its important to dress for the weather though, as you can get quite frozen in the saddle. I always wear thermal jodhpurs and thermal socks at this time of year, as well as my Holland Cooper riding gillet, under my red equestrian coat, plus base layers beneath.  Layering up is the best way to keep warm, especially if you are out hacking, which doesn't work up as much of a sweat as when you are schooling your horse and doing flat work in the manege. It goes without saying that you should always wear reflective gear, especially if you ride on the roads. Wearing the correct gear is important, as they are the tools of the trade. Yes, equestrian gear can be expensive, but it is an investment in yourself, in your sport and most importantly, in your safety.  

Equestrian gear has come a long way since I was a girl when everything was ugly, in various shades of mud! Now you can find lots of pretty things to wear when out riding, from pink reflective vests - mine says Caution girl with a whip up here! - to riding hats that have glitter panels down the center - mine is all black with a black glitter panel that sparkles in the sun.  

I just recently treated myself to a new dressage whip too, which is silver with a spiral of diamante all the way up the handle and a silver top. I'll use this to tap on my boot and the sound sends the horse forward. It is not a weapon of punishment - unless you happen to be a flasher in the woods! Then I'm gonna swipe you with it!  (TRUE STORY -That actually happened to me when I was eighteen and riding alone in the woods. The flasher jumped out of the bushes, opened his coat with a scream and he was naked underneath. He grabbed my leg and tried to pull me from my pony, Misty, so I whacked him round the face with my whip. Misty barged into him, knocking him off his feet, then she reared up and galloped off, carrying me to safety. I reported him to the police at the first available phone box. Gosh, phone boxes! Remember those?)

The point is that winter riding becomes much more pleasurable when you are wearing the right gear, because as the saying goes, there is no such thing as bad weather, only the wrong clothes. If you and your horse are dressed comfortably for the season, then there is no reason why you shouldn't enjoy winter riding, just as much as summer hacks. You just have to put a bit more effort into getting dressed in the mornings. 

I'm looking forward to riding out in the woods with my friend soon too. We haven't hacked out together in a long while because she now has a young child, so she doesn't have as much time for riding as she once did. We used to ride out together all the time and it was great to take the horses up through the woods and have a good gossip along the way. Horsey friends tend to have a strong bond, as they are the only ones who truly get it. They understand that you'd rather spend money on new jodhpurs than a meal at a fancy restaurant, or that hacking in the woods and cross country is better than a gym membership. They get it, because they are exactly the same.  There is a shared understanding of the love of horses, of the sport and of how tough it can be at times. 

Riding isn't easy. It might look easy, but it's really not. Its so much more than a workout. It takes a lot of strength, courage, training and practice, not to mention compassion for your mount. You have to learn to see the world through their eyes. You have to throw your heart over the jump first, so that the horse will follow it. That takes bravery and trust on both sides. Its a partnership, a duality. I cannot ride without the horse's consent. He is bigger and stronger than me and if it came down to a battle of wills, he would win! If he doesn't want me on his back, he will give me a flying lesson! 

By the same token, the horse cannot stand his ground in the face of fear without having trust in his rider, because his natural instinct is to flee from anything and everything that scares him. He needs the reassurance of his rider to let him know that everything is okay - its just a leaf, a squirrel, a bit of litter. He needs his rider to tell him that there is no monster in the puddle, only dirty water - and he can handle a bit of dirty water, because he's a big brave boy! 

Today was cold and damp and the ground was muddy and full of puddle monsters, so we just did some flat work in the manege. I don't mind doing flat work and I enjoy making pretty patterns in the sand. We did pole work without stirrups too, which I really enjoy as it strengthens the core and deepens the seat to make the rider more secure in the saddle. This kind of training is essential in preparation for jump work come spring. Of course, in winter, schooling helps to keep both horse and rider fit. I'd be lying though if I said I wasn't looking forward to springtime when the ground is softer so that I can start jumping again. I miss jumping and I'm eager to get that flying feeling once more! For the time being we're doing a lot of flat work, pole work and pacing out, ready for the jumps to go up as soon as the ground is ready and its safe to do so. 

There's nothing quite like sitting a horse over show jumps! The slow-motion lifting of the forelegs, followed by the strength of the hind quarters thrusting beneath you and powering you both off the ground; the the moment of suspension when you are flying through the air directly above the jump itself, concluding with the thud of the front hooves hitting the ground first and the hind legs gently coming to rest behind, before the gallop onto the next fence. Its exhilarating and scary and such a wonderful feeling.  Jumping is the thing I miss most during the frozen winter, but I know it won't be long before we're tackling the fences again and I can't wait!

It was a lovely ride this morning and I enjoyed myself very much. On the way home I stopped by the yarn shop and finally managed to find some army green wool for Kermit, and some more Air Force blue too, so I'll be busy with new needle-craft and Flying Fashions projects for the next few months. 

In the meantime, after a day like today when its so cold, wet and windy, its always nice to get back home from the yard and jump into a hot shower, before settling down with a cup of tea, ready to get some writing done. Riding has been a part of my life for forty years and I plan to keep at it for as long as I can, even into my dotage! I might not always be jumping, but I hope that I will always ride and be around horses. It is such a privilege to spend time with them. They are my very first love and well worth the aches and pains equestrians have to endure. You know what they say - hold onto what makes you happy...and if it tries to buck you off, hold on tighter because the very best seat is always on a horse!

Serene Blessings

Marie x

SLIPPERS AND SKATES; Swan Lake

 

Last night, as the temperature plummeted to -2 to -3 degrees, my mum and I got all bundled up in faux fur coats and hats and went off to the theatre.  We had tickets to see Swan Lake and we have been looking forward to it for months now.  In the past couple of years we have booked tickets to see Swan Lake twice, but both times the performance was cancelled, firstly due to covid, then secondly because it was the Russian Ballet who were not allowed to tour the UK after the Russians invaded Ukraine.  So it was something of a relief that this performance actually went ahead! 

It was well worth the long wait. Swan Lake is my favourite ballet of all and I have seen it a few times. In fact, I try to get tickets whenever it is performed in my home city as I just love it so much. In my opinion, it is the very best ballet there is. You can't beat the classical ballets and Swan Lake is the best of the best. I also like that this particular ballet has different endings, so you never know which one you're going to see. The performance last night featured the original variation, where the Prince kills Rothbart, thereby breaking the spell and allowing Odette a happy ending. It was simply beautiful and I had tears in my eyes by the end. 

The performance was given by the Varna International Ballet, which originated in Bulgaria, I believe.  The costumes were obviously diaphanous and to-die-for gorgeous. The staging of the ballet was quite ethereal and imaginative. They had a huge screen as the backdrop on which were projections of a lake under a full moon, with swans flying and gliding along on the water. They also used a pretty pale blue-tinged lighting system and a fog machine, to give the stage the illusion of misty water. It was like gazing into a Scottish loch at twilight - so magical and enchanting.

Odette/Odile was danced to perfection by Martina Prefetto who spun like gossamer, gracefully casting a spell all of her own.  The handsome Prince Siegfried was danced by Vittorio Scole and I was quite swept away by him. In this performance, the Prince is reading a book of fairytales about swan-maidens, so when he meets with Odette and her swan-maids, he is open to the magic she brings into his life, despite the difficulty of the curse that is laid upon her.

My favourite part of the ballet is always the swans and the Lake scenes. The sight of so many ballerinas all dressed in feathers and tulle, standing en pointe is like a vision from the Otherworld. Of course there is the iconic pas de quatre, or Dance of the Four Little Swans, which is well-known and very beautiful to watch. In this Varna variation however, there was also a stage full of black swans too and they looked amazing! I don't recall seeing this before in other versions of the ballet - usually all the swans are white, with the exception of Odile, most famous for her 32 fouettes.  Seeing so many black swans dancing in formation was breath-taking and not something that I will ever forget. It was just so surprising and I love it when a Company do something a little bit different to a well known ballet, and make it work so well.  So although it isn't part of the original ballet, it made sense that Odile would also have her own black swan-maid companions. I loved it!

It was an amazing performance. I did manage to get a couple of video clips, including the ensemble of black swans, so you can see it for yourself on my Twitter. My mum and I came out of the theatre smiling from ear to ear and not even the freezing weather could dampen our spirits. I got a program and some lovely souvenirs which all have a swan theme - a pretty silver hand mirror bearing a white swan on an icy blue lake, a matching pink blush compact featuring pink swans and the matching White Swan eyeshadow palette with white swans on the top and pinky-nude eyeshadows inside. All very pretty and whimsical additions to my vanity and lovely reminders of a fabulous, girly night out. They will give me a little sprinkling of the Swan Queen's magic each time I do my makeup. 

And now its time to hibernate and start writing my next book, but for tonight I'm going to snuggle down by the fire and watch my Black Swan DVD, to try to prolong the exquisite enchantment of the Swan Queen and her sacred Lake.  If you ever get a chance to see the Swan Lake ballet then I urge you to go. It really is the most beautiful ballet in the world, in all its variations. It should be on everyone's bucket list. 

Serene Swan Blessings 

Marie x 

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Wintering Begins

 

It's 11.30 on a Sunday night and I have just delivered my latest book to my publisher. I have been working on this project all through the Christmas and New Year period, so I am ready for a little rest, before I need to start the next book. 

Winter is meant to be a time of rest, of slowing down and hibernating, yet for many of us it is one of the busiest times of the year. If you work in retail for instance, or hospitality, or in one of the emergency services, then there is nothing slow and restful about this season at all. The darkness and the cold just make everything seem like more of an uphill struggle.  That's why its more important than ever that you learn to keep winter in a cosy way whenever you can.  Incorporating pockets of cosyness into your day, especially into your working day, can help you to get through the difficulty of working in the wintertime. 

I touched on this last year in my Winter Blooming post, but it bears repeating, because every winter is different. Some years are snowy and bright, others are damp and dismal. Each one brings its own challenges and stress.  Being a chionophile I love it, but I know a lot of you don't. People often take the time to turn their home into a cosy retreat during the darker months and this is especially important once all the Yuletide decorations have been packed away.  Your home should be a haven, a warm shelter from the cold, a comforting space of peace and joy and relaxation.  

But what about your car? How cosy and peaceful is that after you've spent twenty minutes clearing off the ice and you are making the journey into work? When I worked at the vets, my twelve hour day started quite early, so it was frequently cold and always dark in the wintertime. I tried to make my car a pleasant place to be - to give it some hyyge! Often I would eat my lunch in my car, because I just needed to get out of the workplace and enjoy some much needed silence and solitude. So I made sure my car had all that I needed, including a warm blanket to snuggle into. This helped to make the most of my very short lunch break, as it was the only break we got during such a long day. 

Of course I would take a book to read, but I also had other bits and bobs tucked away in my car too. Little things that could make my lunch break as pleasurable and restorative as possible. For instance, the vet practice where I worked was right next door to a fish and chip shop. I know - lethal! Occasionally I would treat myself to chips for lunch, so I kept a small bottle of Henderson's Relish in my car, to splash onto my chips. I also had a little bottle of pumpkin spice syrup that I could add to the coffee I bought.  These were simple little things, but they made the day a bit nicer and made my lunch break into more of a treat. Sometimes, my mother would come down and meet me and we would have a picnic lunch together, in her car or mine. She would pack up a picnic basket with goodies and we would catch up. This gave her a little outing in the middle of the day and provided a lovely break for me in the middle of my shift. 

I also liked to keep a motivational book in my car, ready for those days when everything felt like too much and the job was getting to me. It's not easy working in an environment where you see animals being put to sleep on a daily basis, or where certain people are on personal power trips.  Sometimes you need a mental health boost. I kept The Concise 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene in my car at all times during the years I worked at the vet practice. Not only did it give me a mental boost, it helped me to deal with difficult colleagues and served as a reminder that I was only passing through the vets anyway. It was just a student job. It wasn't my long term destiny. I was meant for a different path.  Reading the nuggets of wisdom in Greene's book helped to keep me sane and focused on my true goals, rather than being side-tracked by the people who wanted me to train to be a vet nurse and RVN. That was never my ambition, so I didn't let them sway me in that direction. 

I kept pampering items in my car too. A luxury hand cream, a bottle of perfume, a nice lip-gloss, a hair brush, a hair fragrance mist, a nail file. All these items were little things that I could use to take care of myself in the midst of a hard day's work. Roll-on essential oils that can be applied to pulse points are also a good idea - especially lavender for calm and serenity! 

I also had a small notebook and pen in the glove compartment and I would use this as an emergency journal. If I was cross or out of sorts with someone (which happened a lot during the pandemic!) I would journal out my stress and irritability at lunchtime. This enabled me to go back into the office with a clear mind and a clean slate. I felt better, not because the situation had resolved itself, but because I had siphoned off the negative emotions and pinned them down on the page, instead of allowing them to circulate in my mind and ruminating on them. 

All these little things helped to make me feel better about the fact that I was vastly underpaid, under-valued and extremely overworked, as so many people are these days. I am thankful that I now work from home as an author, but I still feel for my former colleagues and those who are in a similar situation. It's not easy to make a living these days. In some sectors, it's very, very hard and in my opinion, twelve hour days should be illegal! 

I have spoken about the musical ritual I had when I got home each night in the Winter Blooming post, so I won't repeat that here, but I also had another ritual too.  When I got home in the evenings, I would turn back my bed, light a scented candle and hop in the shower. After my shower, I would put on a long Victorian nightgown, make a cup of hot chocolate and settle down into bed to watch a period drama series. Each night  would watch one or two episodes by candlelight, and I would make a point of telling myself;

"This is my real life, not the vets. That's just an interruption of my life. This, being at home, surrounded by lovely things and enjoying my own time. This is what really matters. This is where I belong." 

It may sound silly, but re-affirming your life in this way and telling yourself that where you are currently, is not where you plan on ending up, is very powerful. Linking that affirmation to something tangible, such as my period drama ritual, means that you are reminding your subconscious of your goal each time you engage with that thing, be it a TV show or a hobby. Two seasons of The Spanish Princess and four seasons of Reign helped me to work in an emergency pet hospital throughout the pandemic and beyond, without losing my mind or the will to live! They also gave me something to look forward to at the end of the working day.

Not all of these ideas will fit into your life or your working routine, but I hope that there is something here that you can try to see if it works for you. Perhaps you can adapt some of them, or come up with other ways to make sure that your work this winter doesn't prevent you from enjoying the season. Yes it can be hard to endure, and for those of you who love the sunshine, going to and from work in the dark will take its toll on you. Hopefully, these suggestions will help to put a spark of joyfulness into the mundane. 

As we head into the gloomiest months of the wintertime, with all the brightness of Yuletide behind us and spring a long way off, this is when the art of wintering truly begins. You need to take extra special care of yourself, particularly if you are going out to work in harsh and stressful environments. 

For me, this means that I will be prolonging my Christmas until the end of this month! Because I worked through it again this year, I have decided that although the tree is down and the decorations are packed away, I am going to spend January watching festive films, burning my Christmas scented candles, reading snowy books and enjoying all the festive treats that I haven't consumed yet, such as chocolates, mulled wine and spiced gingerbread hearts. 

It won't be long until I have to begin writing the next book, for the mid-February deadline. I also have to make preparations for university too. They have sent me the Required Reading list and so I have ordered all the text books and recommended reading from Blackwells, and I will need to start swotting again soon. 

But for now, I plan on enjoying a New Year festive break of Christmassy films, books and foods that will prolong the Yuletide season that I have just missed out on, due to a tight January deadline.  However you plan to spend the darkest months at the beginning of the year, remember that hyyge is your friend! And so am I.

Serene Blessings

Marie x