ONCE UPON A DREAM; A Year Ago Today...

 On this date,  a year ago today - this happened...😃🎓

MUSICAL DOLL; Between Twilight

 Beautiful, enchanting and romantic...

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Lock-down Princess

As the country prepares to go back into lock-down for the month of November,  I have been considering how this half-hearted attempt at stemming the corona virus will impact on my birthday month.  I say half-hearted because the Prime Minister has decreed that people must still go to work and school - so it's no lock-down at all really, as most people mix with far more 'households' through work than they do socially - so it's all a bit of a farce.  Still, it will upset some plans - bonfire night for instance, will effectively be cancelled, as no-one is allowed to hold organised fireworks displays and the fire brigade, understandably, are discouraging private bonfire parties. 

So my birthday later this month is going to be quite different.  Usually I go to see a show or something, but this year the theaters and ballets are closed, as are cinemas.  Last year I went to see the Little Mix concert and a few days later I went to see Last Christmas at the cinema.  This year I did have plans to go and see Ant Middleton's seminar and then for a pre-Christmas festive cream tea on my birthday at a local stately home, but now those plans are scuppered too!  At least our tickets for both events are still valid for when things return to normal.  And as for a spot of festive Christmas shopping while the brass band plays Christmas carols in the local shopping center - that's out the window as well because it's non-essential. And all this after my holiday to Orkney was cancelled in the summer!

What-a-to-do!  Of course I'm grateful for many things this year - we do at least have our government endorsed 'bubbles' to keep us company this time round.  I didn't mind the last lock-down and I was perfectly content with my own company, but my mother did struggle not seeing anyone for several months as she is a very social person.  All I need is a book!  But we just have to make the make the best of things, so we'll probably repeat what we did on Halloween and have a movie night with roasted chestnuts, festive food and drinks.  That was a fun night - we watched The Awakening, which we both enjoyed and my mum had decorated her house with pumpkins, ghost fairy-lights and lots of candles , so it was an enjoyable spooky evening and it made up for us not being able to go to the Halloween events at Sherwood Forest as we'd originally planned.   We'll probably do something similar for my birthday.

Another thing I'm grateful for is my habit of shopping ahead.  All my Christmas shopping is already done and dusted!  I even have all the cards, wrapping paper and gift tags ready in a drawer.  I've got my 2021 calendar - it's Anne Stokes Unicorns - and my mother bought me a pink 2021 diary/planner.  So apart from the food shop - I'm all done. It pays to be organised and to read and respond to a situation before it fully evolves, rather than reacting to it and panic buying after the crisis has hit home.  I do feel sorry for those people with children though, who are now faced with doing their present shopping online, in competition with every other family in lock-down.

Shopping ahead is the opposite of panic buying and it's something I addressed in my psychotherapy column recently.  The housewives of old used to keep a store cupboard, fully stocked with dried foods, canned goods, preserves, pickles, herbs, spices and baking ingredients.  This meant that they always had the means of a meal in the house - no matter what.  It meant that when they went shopping, they would purchase their fresh produce for the week, but everything else would be bought for the store cupboard, buying ahead on those items, so that they never ran out or ran too short.  I expect it was a natural response to years of rationing after the war.  When you have a well stocked store cupboard, there is simply no need to panic buy anything, because you already have everything you need in the cupboard.

We can all learn from this and I'm not just talking about groceries.  The habit of shopping ahead means that my mother and I have both completed all our Christmas shopping by the end of October.  She has even pre-ordered all her Christmas meats from the local butcher, so all she has to do is pick it up on Christmas week.  I'm not keen on meat, but I do like to shop ahead for all those little extras that make day to day life more luxurious.  I keep a 'little luxuries' store cupboard in my bedroom and I like to keep it stocked with skin care products, scented candles, new perfumes and so on.  I call it my beauty cabinet. I also buy stacks of books, films and music, plus I get sent them for review from time to time.  This effectively means that I can 'shop my shelves' and pick out something brand new whenever I want to treat myself.  When I shop for these items, I am generally shopping for my store cupboard, rather than for items I need to use immediately. 

Not only does this mean that the recent lock-down announcement didn't send me into a spiral of panic buying, it also creates a sense of calm, peace and security.  Life can be unpredictable.  The global pandemic has highlighted that jobs and incomes can be lost in an instant.  If you are living hand to mouth when that occurs, you could find yourselves in dire straits within a matter of days.  But if you've created the habit of shopping ahead during the prosperous times, when the lean times hit, you will feel them less keenly.  You will have a cosy nest, well feathered with all the items that make your life as comfortable as possible, as well as a store cupboard full of basics to tide you over for a bit.

I cannot overstate the sense of security this gives you.  I could lose my income tomorrow and still live like a princess.  This is because I know how it feels to struggle, how it feels to have the financial rug pulled out from under your feet, whether by circumstance or sabotage,  and so I've spent the more prosperous days lining my nest with everyday luxury.  It's not about being rich.  It's about being organised and budgeting the money you do have.  It's about the concept of buying pretty, which is something I've explored before here on my blog - why buy something plain, when you can buy something pretty?   Why have chrome desk lamps when you can buy rose gold ones?  Why have ordinary sewing scissors when you can buy an iridescent pair that look like a unicorn or a bird? And never underestimate the power of beautiful music to lift your mood and create a cosy atmosphere.  It's these little details that help to make up a princessy lifestyle. It's these small things that make you smile and realize how fortunate you are to enjoy such a pretty life, especially when the world has gone to pot. 

All it takes is a little organisation and planning.  Decide what makes your life feel luxurious. For me it's books, lovely music, candles, perfumes and pampering products.  If I can shop my own shelves and come back with a brand new book I've never read before, put on a face mask, pick out a scented candle from my stash and play a CD of beautiful music, I feel rich, regardless of how much money is in the bank.  For you, it might be teddy bear bedding and a box of chocolates; for your gran it might be a stash of new yarn and a fresh knitting pattern; for your husband it might a stack of vintage comics.  Whatever says everyday luxury to you, embrace it and stock up on it. Oh and here's one more tip  - if you can, pay ahead on your bills too, as this also creates a sense of security and mental well-being, plus it buys you time if your finances change for the worse.  It goes without saying that you should have some savings as well. And no, your husband's money doesn't count! Every woman should have a personal income and savings of her own. It's 2020 FFS. 

Living through uncertain times can foster anxiety and negativity.  Having your carefully laid plans cancelled or changed at the last minute is frustrating.  Yet there are always things you can do to live like a princess and to weather the storms that life throws at you.  Think ahead, plan ahead but be prepared to adapt, save up, buy pretty and shop ahead as much as you can, creating store cupboards of both basics and little luxuries that will provide comfort through lock-downs, down-turns and disasters, and that will help to cushion any negative blow that might be heading your way, because this is how you can live like a princess everyday, no matter what!

Stay safe in your castle, pretty one, until next time,

BB Marie x  

BOOK NOOK; The Familiars by Stacey Halls

The Familiars by Stacey Hall is a novel based upon the Pendle Witch Trials held in Lancashire in 1612.   All the main characters in the novel are based on historical figures from those trials and the author has woven a work of fiction around that framework. The author has a very atmospheric writing style and the tension builds as the day of the witch trials draws ever closer.

Of course, we already know what happened in Pendle in 1612 and the hanging of 10 people denounced as witches, based on the testimony of a young child and daughter of one of the accused,  is infamous here in the North of England.  But knowing the main outcome of the events of that time does not diminish one's enjoyment of the novel.  

In The Familiars the lady of Gawthorpe Hall, Fleetwood,  is desperate to have a child.  Her previous pregnancies have ended in miscarriage and she is determined to do all she can to carry this child full term, thus presenting her husband with the heir he requires of her.

Out in the woods one day she meets a young woman, Alice, who claims to be a midwife and Fleetwood decides to hire her.  Alice is skilled in herbs and healing and a friendship soon develops between these two young women.  That is, until events overtake them and Alice is taken up on a charge of witchcraft and thrown into the dungeons of Lancaster Castle.   

Convinced of Alice's innocence and that she will not be able to bear a living child without her midwife, Fleetwood embarks on a collision course with the male authorities and protocols of the time, as she sets about trying to help her friend and prevent her from swinging as a witch. 

The Familiars isn't spooky or scary, but it is an authentic retelling of historical events and one that sympathizes with the plight of the witches, and indeed, of the powerlessness of women during that precarious period of history, because as Fleetwood herself says in the book "I wouldn't wish a girls life on anyone".   It's a great book to curl up with on a chilly autumn day and the perfect witchy read for October. 

Blessed Be

Marie x

MUSICAL DOLL; Come Little Children...

 I'll take thee away, into a land of enchantment...

BOOK NOOK; Zero Negativity by Ant Middleton

"Adults, increasingly, are acting like teenagers. Teenagers, more and more, are acting like children.  Children are regressing into babies.  There are adults who can barely look after themselves.  They play the victim all the time and think only of me, me, me."p304

I have to deal with infantile adults all the time, whenever I'm working at the practice.  It is annoying and infuriating, but it's not my job to bring them up.  They have to decide to step up and take personal responsibility for their own lives.  Sadly, I know that most of them never will - not because they're not capable of doing so, but because they can't be bothered. It's too much effort.  Too much like hard work.  I wish I could give them this book, but even if I did, they probably wouldn't read it anyway!

Zero Negativity is the final book in Ant Middleton's self-help trilogy.  I had planned to buy a signed copy at his seminar that was due to take place this November, but due to corona virus, it has been pushed back to next year now.  I still have tickets though, so it is something to look forward to.  However, I didn't want to have to wait that long to read his latest book, so I ordered it on Amazon and it arrived yesterday.  I've spent a few happy hours getting into this man's positive head-space and I finished the book today.

Just like his first two volumes, this book is about encouraging people to be their best selves and achieve their goals.  It's a great pep talk and it does act as a bit of a brain-wash, in a good way, because it cleanses away the negative programming that society inflicts on us on a daily basis.  It differs from his other books, because here he admits that his TV hard man image is merely a persona - the leftovers of his time in the special forces, and that he's really a gentle spirited man.  I did feel that this softer side of his personality comes across more in this book than in the first two, which are very much written by the Chief Instructor.  Here the author has a more self-reflective voice and an almost wistful dream of the future.

Another way in which the book differs from the first two is that Ant's wife finally gets to have her say!  I must admit that I have been curious about her from the beginning and I have often wondered what her take is on all this 'life on the edge' stuff he does, not to mention the number of random strangers tweeting their knickers at the man she loves!  Her sections are some of the most heart-warming and we get to see the man behind the persona through her eyes and how his fame has had an effect on their family life.

It's an easy read at just over 300 pages and it is very absorbing and engaging.  I do feel that it fits in well with Ant's earlier books, but I also hoping that this is not his last self-help book, as I haven't quite had my fill of him yet.  I think I'm going to re-read the trilogy from scratch, beginning with book one First Man In.  And Foxy has another new book coming out this month too, so that should keep me going for a bit.  If you like military style self-help, you have enjoyed Ant's earlier books or you simply admire the man or the SAS TV show then I expect you will enjoy reading Zero Negativity.  I've consumed it like a vulture! And I still plan to buy a signed copy when I go to see him on tour next year. I'm so much looking forward to that as I had such a great time at his last seminar in 2018, so I can't wait. In the meantime, I'm going to re-read his trilogy and pre-order new Foxy's book too.

Happy reading!

Marie x

MUSICAL DOLL; Breathe

 And you know its never simple, never easy,

Never a clean break, no-one here to save me,

And I can't breathe without you - but I have to...

xxx