"But it never is time for the waiting to be over, until its time. No matter how much wringing of the hands, crying, begging or bargaining we do, the waiting will continue until its damn good and ready, which is rarely soon enough...
The truth is that waiting is when the magic happens. Waiting is the mystical space between the dreaming and its coming true."
from Romancing the Ordinary by Sarah Ban Breathnach
I'm good at waiting, but sometimes my patience wears a bit thin. Its not so much the waiting that bothers me - its the silence, the false endings and the lack of news that irritate me and make me wonder if my time is being wasted. But this is what I need to remember - it will all happen in its own time, not mine. Be patient. Keep busy. Play music with meaning and wait for the magic to happen, because this really is just the beginning...better to wait and make a fresh start, than to rush and make a false start.
I have been utterly seduced...I have just returned from retail heaven! The local shopping centre is simply full of pink, tempting me in every shop window...shades of rose, blush, flamingo, candy floss, baby, shell...were everywhere I looked, as far as the doe-eyed could see. The shopping buzz has me in its grip and I am delirious and dizzy with joy!
Pink has always been my favourite colour, closely followed by red. But for years pink hasn't really been that available, so I am delighted that it is now the colour of the season. I have spent a happy couple of hours shopping this morning, adding to my collection of all things pink.
Some time ago I bought a lovely dusky rose pink, trench-coat style jacket. Because I am petite I have a problem getting coats and jackets to fit me and all the trench-coats swamped me, but this little pink jacket comes just past my hips and belts at the waist, so it fits quite nicely. I have been wearing it for college and clinical placement and people always compliment me on it. You certainly do get more attention when you're dressed in something pink, hence the old saying "Wear pink to make the boys wink". I have always found this to be true.
Earlier this week I was out with my mother and I spotted a darling pastel pink tote bag, which of course I snapped up right away. It's the perfect size for me and matches my pink kiss-clasp purse from Accessorise, so I knew I was meant to have it. It goes beautifully with the dusky rose trench-coat too and they make a perfect pair.
Then today I was seduced - literally seduced - by another pink jacket! A leather biker jacket to be exact, in the softest, palest shell pink!! It's zips were twinkling at me under the store lights and I just lost all sense of self control... I had to have it...I just had to. It reminded me of Michelle Pfeiffer singing 'Cool Rider' in Grease 2. I love that song (see end of post) - it sums me up. So the biker jacket and a pink semi-sheer skirt, shot through with silver thread, found their way into my shopping basket and I beamed at the check out girl as she claimed her commission on the sale.
I justified the purchase by reminding myself that I still wear the black leather biker jacket I bought way back when I was 18. It still fits and looks fab, so if the pink one is as good an investment, I will be very happy with it. I also feel like I deserve a little treat for making it through four years of academic torture - my psychotherapy training finishes this summer and this jacket is my reward for sticking with the course.
It also goes nicely with a very pretty dress I bought a few weeks ago - a dream of a dress that is floaty, floral and balletic in style. If you follow me on Twitter you will already know that I love this dress so much I named it Juliet! It's romantic and feminine and I can't wait to wear it with my new pink biker jacket.
Finally I popped into Victoria Secret and sniffed around all their fragrances. I love their bath and body products; my favourites are currently Amber Romance and also Temptation, which suits me, being the author of The Wiccan Temptress, which you can purchase here if you are so inclined.
So it has been a very productive few weeks of girly shopping sprees. I do love buying new clothes - it honestly makes me feel better, and I need smart new things to wear for my clinical placement and also for my holiday to Oban in autumn. I can't wait for that. Just four months or so to go and I will be back in the land of the kilted Scotsmen where kisses aplenty await! Until then let's not forget that...
Some of the most beautiful songs have been written about the act of waiting...waiting in the bittersweet space between the dream of love and its reality, where yearning lyrics couple with haunting melodies, these songs can melt even the coldest heart...
Someone once asked me if Romeo and Juliet had a happy ending which really made me giggle...I suppose it depends on how you look at it. Yes, they both die in the end and it is technically a tragedy, but they are also together forever in eternal love. Forever young and in love, never to disappoint one another, let each other down or tire of each other. To me, that sounds like a happy ending of sorts, because the deepest, strongest, truest love is worth dying for.
I tend to read this play each year as the summer months loom into view - the balcony scene is perfect for the lighter, warmer nights. It reminds me that love is always unexpected - and sometimes it can be downright inconvenient! It knows no bounds, or prejudices; it breaks all the rules; it is a headlong dash into the unknown, with someone you hardly know, yet trust automatically. Love lingers in the ears long after the lips have spoken. As Juliet says;
"My ears have not yet drunk one hundred words
Of thy tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound.
Art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?"
It is a remembrance and a dream; a waking thought not easily shaken off; a rekindling of hope and a healing charm to soothe the
heart, lost in its chamber of solitude. It may never be more than fantasy; reality might prove too complicated for the dream to be fulfilled - yet, the dream lives on in the mind, of whispers in moonlight and what might have been. When Love's little arrows are lodged in your heart, it hurts a little bit.
Despite the tragic ending though, Romeo and Juliet is my favourite
Shakespearean play, because it is still so relevant to modern life. It can be tough to read if you are not used to the language, but Shakespeare designed his work to be seen, not read. He wanted people to watch his plays, so if you prefer to watch one of the film versions or go to the theatre, rather than read the play, I'm sure he would approve. It has inspired works of art, modern re-tellings and pop songs "for never was a tale of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo". It is certainly well worth reading.
"A thousand times goodnight...
Goodnight, goodnight! Parting is such sweet sorrow
"What if I'm too late? What if I never get to see the Beast again?" She knew that if the Beast was gone she would have no one to blame but herself.
Against all the odds, the Beast had shown her true beauty. He had shown her it was okay to be different. He had shown her it was okay to feel lost and made her realise how desperately she wanted to be found.
Last month my mother and I went to see the new movie version of Disney's Beauty and the Beast and it was a fantastic film. It was the kind of film that stays with you and you are reluctant to leave behind at the cinema, so when I saw there was a book of the film out too, I just had to get it.
I have spent today reading this beautiful, romantic, novel length fairytale and it has kept the movie fresh in my mind. What has taken me by surprise though is that I found I could relate more to the Beast than to Belle! Like me, he has a temper and he can be easily provoked. He doesn't always know what is good for him and he has to be gently persuaded to give Belle a chance.
I can relate to his wariness, because I am the same and when those little arrows of love hit me, my first response is to snarl and growl and scare them all away. This means I scare away the very thing I need most. It means I lose my temper with the wrong people, when someone else has provoked me. We can all be beastly at times.
Like the Beast in the fairytale I just need someone brave enough to see past my tantrums, to soothe the fear that lies beneath. I need someone who won't give up on me and who will keep trying to coax me into a gentler mood and a more playful attitude. I need someone who can calm me with a soft voice and a bit of patience, until my trust is gained. Because sometimes a rejection comes from fear, not disinterest.
Belle and the Beast initially reject one another because they are both fearful. They bicker and snipe at one another, but deep down, they have much in common. They get to know one another through a mutual love of books and the library in the film is truly breath-taking. Any book worm would love to spend time there.
Eventually they come to see each other as allies, rather than as enemies. Once they understand that they are on the same side, love blossoms between them, though there are a couple of false starts along the way...barely even friends, then somebody bends, unexpectedly.
Because if someone really is on your side, they will fly right back to you like little arrows, giving you the chance to turn the beastly curse into a spell of love and friendship. Maybe there's a happy ending in second glances and second chances?
If you like tales as old as time you will enjoy this novel, available from Amazon here and the theme songs below...
It was a kiss full of apology, full of thankfulness, and full of deep, deep love. It was a kiss full of enchantment... X
Wasting in my lonely tower...waiting by an open door...
