BOOK NOOK: Nordic Tales by Ulla Thynell

 

"...he would do all the prince wished, if he only wouldn't squeeze his heart to pieces..."

from The Giant Who Had No Heart.

The festive season has been damp and grey in England this year, with lots of foggy days and misty mornings but nothing at all in the way of snow or pretty sparkly weather. The endless cloud has left me wishing for snowy adventures, so I turned to this book of Nordic Tales, hoping to find a more magical festive atmosphere within its pages and it didn't disappoint me at all.

I have had the book on my shelves for some years, but never got around to reading it fully. I'm so glad that I saved it for Christmastime. Nordic Tales is an enchanting collection of fairytales from across the Scandinavian countries. Most of them I had never read before, so there was a sense of exploration and adventure as I savoured each tale.  I enjoy exploring all kinds of folklore, but there is something very intriguing about reading the folk tales of countries that are foreign to me. I thought that I knew most fairytales, but here was a whole collection that I hadn't yet discovered. It was like finding treasure!

I read the book slowly, over the course of a week or so, because I wanted to relish each story. The language of the book sounds very similar to the way in which modern Norse people speak English - they have their own way of speaking, of arranging their words into a sentence, which is very musical to the ear and something I find particularly delightful. 

This book is written in the same way, so it feels as if you are being told the stories by an old friend from the northlands, which can be very comforting during the darker nights of winter.  It's like inviting a Viking storyteller into your home to spin tales by the hearthside, to keep you company through the darkest nights of the year. 

I read one or two stories each night, beginning on the winter solstice and trying to make the adventure last as long as possible. The only tale in the collection that I was already very familiar with is East of the Sun, West of the Moon and I am happy to say that this version has a traditional ending which made me so happy.  In reading this anthology however, I have discovered some new favourites including The Forest Bride, which is a lovely tale of transformation, romance and enchantment. What little mouse wouldn't want to be loved for her quiet, shy, gentle nature, rather than spurned for it? Only a true prince would ever see the value in a tiny forest mouse. Only a true prince would understand her need to hide away, for the world is too loud, too big for her. And yet she is more than she seems!

I also liked Hildur, Queen of the Elves, Mighty Mikko and his cunning fox friend, the dancing shoes tale of Old Nick and the Girl, The True Bride, The Giant Who Had No Heart and the ghostly, seafaring adventures of Jack of Sjoholm and the Gan-Finn.  Each tale in the book is fantastical in its own way and you will find stories of transformation, wit and marvellous journeys. There is plenty of magic and enchantment that will keep you captivated, transporting you to the beautiful mountains and fijords of Norway, Finland, Sweden etc, where the Northern Lights dance through the sky and the forests are deep and mysterious. Reading it has felt like a festive Nordic holiday in a book!  

The anthology is richly illustrated by Finnish artist Ulla Thynell, and there are full colour plates for each story depicting high mountains, dark forests, mysterious doorways, castles, trolls, dragons and of course, boats because the Norse are seafaring people. The book also has a pretty red ribbon book mark, so it would make a nice gift for a bookworm who enjoys fairytales and folklore. 

I haven't been feeling especially festive this year - the weather has been dismal, I am longing for the sight of snowy landscapes, and also many of my friends are far away - so reading this book has been a great comfort to me and it has brought some of those people much closer, in my heart and mind at least. 

It has been lovely to just climb into bed each night amid the glow of the bedroom fairy-lights, and read a story from Nordic Tales, allowing my imagination to wander where I cannot, to feel connection with people I haven't seen in a very, very long time, to linger in a part of the world that means something significant to me, yet which seems so unreachable - all via the power of storytelling. This anthology of Nordic fairytales has been a wonderful, magical escape, a true north star guiding me through the dark season. 

And who knows, England might get a bit of frosted sparkly weather come January.  This little ice maiden would be glad of it. It would match my inner landscape of frosted silver white and frozen heart!

Happy reading!

Bright Blessings

Marie x

AD: This book is published by Chronical Books and is out now. 

ONCE UPON A NIGHTMARE: Christmas Crises

 

Its a long post so grab a cuppa! 

Christmas can be a dangerous time for women and children, with rates of domestic violence and sexual abuse increasing during the festive period. This is an uncomfortable truth that society as a whole shies away from. It doesn't align with the tinsel-touting message of it being the season of comfort and joy. It is much easier to imagine happy families gathered  around the Christmas tree, smiling, laughing and opening gifts, or to think of loving couples going out on festive dates together and enjoying the extra time with one another. However, the fact is that many women and children face a torrent of abuse during the Christmas and New Year period.

With the alcohol flowing freely and time off from work, tempers can be quick to spark. A little joke or gentle teasing can be enough to flare up someone's temper and suddenly the Christmas cheer has evaporated and fists start flying. Drunkenness and drug use, which numb logical thinking, can also increase the risk of someone becoming violent and aggressive. What started out as festive family-fun may end with a sudden attack, resulting in a battered wife or beaten kids. 

Add to that the increase in sexual attacks too, with office parties, nightclubs, pubs, concerts and theatres all being prime hunting ground for any predator. You might not know that you have been working alongside a sexual predator until you become his next victim, because these individuals tend to be adept at masking their true nature.  But Christmas joviality and drunkenness is the perfect excuse for them to get a little too close, a little too friendly, a little too into the rough play. 

In clubs, pubs and concerts you need to watch out for drink spiking or being hit with a rape injection on the dancefloor. If a stranger offers to help you outside, or take you somewhere quieter, say no. Find a bouncer or member of staff to help you instead, or go to the bar and ask to speak to Angela - in the UK, this is the national code word to let staff know that you are in trouble and need help. Personally I think we should have similar national code words in hospitals and hotels too, because sometimes the predators are in trusted positions of power and we need a way to escape them. Try not to get into a taxi alone and stay with your friends, travelling home together, even if this means a sleepover at a mate's house. If you notice that your pee is a pretty colour, such as pink, red, purple or blue, this is a sure indication that your drink was spiked. Don't ignore it - that nice chap you were chatting too could be the one who spiked your drink. Take action and either ask for Angela or leave the venue with your friends and get yourself home as soon as you can. 

It's unfortunate that women have to think of these things, that we need to have contingency plans in place before we head out for a festive drink or go to a party, but until men change their predatory nature, its just something we have to do. After all, A Girl's Gotta Do What A Girl's Gotta Do, as Kathleen Baty would say. Predators will always target the vulnerable and those they deem easy prey, so take steps to make sure you do not present yourself to the world in this way. Better to be called a bitch for being a bit spiky, than to trust the wrong man and regret it.  Just because a man seems nice, doesn't mean that he is safe. He could be using a charm offensive to reel you in. 

Even the nicest of men have a habit of using the bait and switch tactic on women they are interested in. By this I mean that he will begin the relationship full of care and consideration for you, he will be gentle and tender towards you, he might even indulge in a bit of future-faking too. That's the bait. It's what draws you in and sparks your interest in him.  Once he sees that you are falling for him however, he will make the switch, suddenly turning on you and becoming arrogant and obnoxious. He might deliberately pick a fight, just to see how you respond. His words are likely to be brutal and cruel.  He does this because he wants to know how much he can get away with and how capable you are at standing up for yourself.  Once he has tested the ground and assessed the strength of your boundaries, he becomes soft and sweet to you again. 

Such behaviour can be very confusing - and it is designed to be! He reels you in just to give you a psychological slap in the face, when all you did was show that you like him. As he oscillates between a charm offensive and brutal word-play, he is using a basic power game to keep you off kilter, to make you unsure of yourself, unsure of him and of the relationship. Then he will accuse you of being insecure, or he will berate you for not trusting him! 

And they ALL seem to do this! They even joke about it like its funny, referring to it as 'a tiff', when in actual fact what it was is mental cruelty and emotional abuse.  And its not okay. 

Of course, couples will always have differences of opinion, even arguments at times. That's a natural aspect of any relationship, but if he is deliberately picking fights with you, making you cry so often you begin to think twice before you say anything because you don't want to upset him (?!) that's not just a difference of opinion. That's abuse. As a result of this behaviour, you become extremely guarded, quiet, and more reserved in your communication. That's how men have successfully silenced women for centuries. 

So why do women endure this dynamic within their intimate relationships? It's because we have been trained from a very young age to do just that. If you grew up with brothers, as I did, you were trained to endure his teasing and bullying, before accepting his gruff hug as an apology. You were told to stop sulking and play nice. In society we are told to let it go and move on, forgive and forget, to kiss and make up. In this way, girls are trained to become the women who will accept such behaviour from men. 

In psychotherapy we call this relational dynamic the abuse and reconciliation cycle. He is charming, then brutal, then charming again. Over and over, sometimes for years or decades. This cycle of behaviour can include the verbal and emotional abuse stated above, but it can also mean physical and/or sexual abuse too. And the thing about abuse is - it escalates. A push becomes a shove, which becomes a slap, which becomes a beating. Understanding the patterns of abuse and the psychology of abusive men is essential learning for all women, I believe, because how else will you recognise it in time to get out before its too late? 

And men need to understand that when they lose their temper and become angry, perhaps even breaking and smashing things, it can be very intimidating to a woman. Men are naturally much bigger and stronger than we are, and even if they have no intention of physically harming us, we don't know that! All we feel is the threat of a potential attack. Seriously lads, either simmer down, or take it to the gym.

When I lived with my ex-fiancé we didn't have one good Christmas. Not one. In the seven years we lived together, each festive season would follow the same pattern. I'd put the tree up, full of love and and hope that this would be a lovely season for both of us, that we would make our own traditions. Then the nights out with his mates and the festive parties would begin. His workplace party was usually the trigger for his excessive drinking etc., and he would come home in the early hours, rolling drunk and aggressive. He would pick a fight with me, sometimes even waking me up in the middle of the night just to argue. And then the shit-show would really kick off - punching walls and doors, smashing my things (always my stuff, never his), screaming in my face etc, before the grand finale when he would pick up the carefully decorated Christmas tree and throw it across the room, sparks flying as the fairy lights were ripped apart.

 The implication was "Me big man! Me throw plastic tree! Huh!"  It would have been funny - if it hadn't been so intimidating, as it was meant to be. 

I should never have endured it for so long. But I did. I had nowhere else to go. 

Every year I was with him the Christmas tree would go flying across the room. Every. Single. Year.  One year, he followed it up by flinging his plate of Christmas dinner across the room too, then a couple of minutes later he announced that he was going to his mother's house because there was "nothing to eat here!"  His mother fed him like a king, happy to have her precious little boy home on Christmas Day. I often wonder if he ever told her why he'd turned up unexpectedly, if he ever confessed his brutally bad behaviour towards me to his own family? Somehow, I doubt it. Not that they would have cared. They would have found it funny. They didn't much like me anyway.

Of course, in floods of tears, I cleaned up the mess, as women always do. I righted the tree. I rehung the baubles that could be salvaged, swept up the broken ones and put them in the bin, threw my dinner in the bin too. No appetite for it now.  What was the point? Christmas was already destroyed - and by the very man who claimed to love me. There were other incidents too, like the time he pushed and held my head under water when I was in the bath, or the time he pulled a knife and suggested we make a suicide pact because, in his words, "You'd do it if you loved me". His hero was Sid Vicious which I think was the inspiration behind that particular moment - the whole Sid and Nancy thing. Needless to say, it was pretty scary.

I didn't tell anyone about the things that had happened. I kept it all to myself. When the man you love becomes the threat and your home becomes unsafe, what do you do, where do you go? When a man makes the choice to use his strength against you - and it is a choice - how do you respond? Hide, fight back and risk escalation, or endure it? You endure, until you can endure it no longer. I was young, in my early twenties, and I didn't understand then that domestic abuse, or any kind of abuse, doesn't always mean a punch in the face. You don't have to have cuts and bruises or broken bones to be in an abusive relationship. But it took me a while to understand that. 

I remember the day when the penny finally dropped. It was summer. He'd had another tantrum and stormed out of the house. I was on my hands and knees, sobbing as I cleaned up broken glass and wiped my blood from the floor. My blood, never his.  Then time just stopped, in a moment of crystal clear clarity - I sat back on my haunches and said to myself "This is abuse. This isn't love. I'm in an abusive relationship. How did that happen? I need to get out"  And that was the start of the extraction process, as I began to make plans to end the engagement and make a fresh start on my own. 

That was back in summer 1999. I broke up with him that September and ended our engagement. We never got as far as planning the wedding. Thank God! He wasn't receptive to the breakup, as abusive men don't like to lose control, so I had another six months of hell as he was regularly arrested by the police for his menacing and aggressive stalking. Another long, six months before I finally thought of myself as being free. It was one of the hardest times of my life and I wasn't yet 25.

And people wonder why I'm single.

I have lived alone and been commitment phobic ever since! Once bitten, twice shy. I spend Christmas alone now, or with my mum. Its safer that way. Solitude is the safest place I know. Abuse of any kind leaves lasting, but often invisible scars. Each year when I put up my pretty pink tree, I think back to that time in my life. I hang pretty, fairytale ornaments knowing that they will be treasured, rather than trashed, that the tree will be dismantled and put away properly in the New Year, rather than destroyed. 

I think back to that time as I decorate my tree. I think of all the women who are also decorating their trees and hoping for a lovely festive season. Then I send a little prayer of strength to those women who, like my younger self, will witness their carefully decorated tree fly across the room this Christmas, at the hands of the man they love and adore. Or perhaps they will endure something much worse. 

Yes, Christmas can be a dangerous time for women and children. 1 in 4 women experiences some form of domestic abuse in her lifetime and 45% of all adult female murder victims are killed by a current or ex-partner, according to Refuge. It's not paranoia to take steps towards your personal safety. It's survival.  This post highlights fragments of my own story, but there are many others who have had similar experiences.

But remember dearest one, Christmas trees are not meant to fly. 

So if your tree takes flight across the house this year, it is trying to tell you that you are in a bad place and you need to get out. It's not easy, it can be difficult, but it is possible. 

In which case, the links below may prove useful to you. These are free charity services and they are there to help.  Remember that if you and your children are in immediate danger to call 999 and ask for the police, or ask to order a pizza - this is another code word to let the operator know you need help but aren't safe to speak openly. Or you can simply tap on your phone and they will guide you from there.

Domestic and sexual abuse are both rife within our society and sadly the same woman can often experience different types and levels of abuse at different times in her life. That's not unusual. It's just one of the things society turns a bind eye to. But please don't. If you suspect someone you know is being abused, please don't turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. Reach out. Softly, gently and with compassion. You might be saving a life. 

I wish you all nothing but peace, joy and safety, throughout the festive season and beyond.

Blessed and Protected Be

Marie x

Refuge - for help with Domestic Abuse. 

Rape Crisis - for help in the aftermath of Rape & Sexual Assault.

Shelter - for help with Homelessness (including displacement due to domestic abuse). 

Karma Nirvana - for help with Honour Based Abuse & Forced Marriage

Samaritans - for General Support and Sign-Posting to other services.

Childline - for youngsters under 19 who need Help & Support

Symptoms of Domestic Abuse - interesting article that's worth reading - knowledge is power

The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker - an important book that could actually save your life one day. 

BOOK NOOK: The Unwinding by Jackie Morris

"And so it seemed to her that he had always been a part of the landscape of her life, this great white bear. She brought him rosehips to sweeten his days, tried to explain how, once they had been flowers, but now were seeds. 

He had never seen a rose.  He told her stories, coloured with every shade of white, and spoke of a sky that danced with lights..." 

The Unwinding and Other Dreamings by Jackie Morris, is a book that I reach for every winter season. It is a tiny little book, but one that is filled with so much charm it lingers in the mind long after the final page has been read. It also features my favourite illustrations by this artist - a red curtained wagon, hung with glowing lanterns and filled with shelves of books, like a mobile library, which is being pulled along by a great white bear. The bear is ridden by a lady with long dark, Rapunzel hair and she reads as she goes, lost in her world of words and dreams. Later in the book she is shown sleeping peacefully with her polar bear as their dreams mingle to become one story of love and devotion. She is a storyteller and a collector of dreams, and she and her ice bear travel the world with their Library of Lost Dreams and Half-Imagined Things. 

As the title suggests, this is a book of dreamings and imaginings, lavishly illustrated with the author's stunning watercolour artworks, it is a book that is designed to dip in and out of, to read slowly as you savour each story.  The fairytales presented here are fantastical and whimsical, set in snowy landscapes and autumnal woodlands. There are fourteen tales in all, each one unique and lyrical and the book ends with a magical blessing of the wild creatures. 

In this little volume of winter magic you will find the dreams of the ice bears, a fox wedding, moon gazing hares,  a new take on Little Red Riding Hood, winged monkeys, fish that fly and the queen of winter.  There are philosophical questions such as what are the shapes of your dreams and where does love reside? Is a story really just a series of questions and answers or something more, and do all questions need an answer to be valid, or are the questions valid in themselves? Where do dreams come from, how do they take form in our mind and can we dream something into being, into our reality? I believe that we can.

This gorgeous book is full of wisdom that will lead you to ask yourself such questions and possibly many more too. It is a book that makes you think, makes you dream, makes you long to dance on a boat in the arms of a polar bear, and dream of a love that thrives in the space between the notes of a bird's song. The author has prescribed this book like medicine, "Take one story last thing at night before bed, then tuck the book beneath your pillow..." It is certainly a lovely distraction from stress and anxiety, leading the reader to a calming realm of fantasy, fairytale and the enduring, unconditional love we can find in our animal friends. It would make a great stocking filler for an older child, teenager or anyone who loves fairytales and beautiful artwork of a whimsical nature. 

The Unwinding and Other Dreamings is the kind of book you will want to curl up with on Christmas Eve, so that you can be spirited away by the dancing ice bears to their realm of icicle dreams and visions of snowy splendour.  "But if you wake to the light to find a book beside your bed - small, bound in beautiful covers - then you will know that in the night they travelled past, that you were dreaming, even if the waking has swept the memory of your dream far from you. You will know they followed the scent..." and visited you in the wee small hours of the night!

Enjoy the dreaming! Wishing you a peaceful and blessed winter season, wherever you are. Have a wonderful day. 😺 

With love from,

Marie x🫶

SLIPPERS & SKATES: Defying Gravity On Ice

Today I went to see the Christmas ice dance show at my local ice rink, where I used to skate. They put on a new show every December and I have been to a few of them, but I think that the performance I watched today is the best one they have ever done. It is called Defying Gravity and it is an amalgamation of The Wizard of Oz, Wicked and Wicked for Good, all with a festive twist.

As soon as I walked into the rink I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me. It was so nice to be back there again. It is a place that is very familiar to me, and it used to be a source of comfort and relaxation. I haven't skated in quite a while and today just served to remind me of how much I miss it. I miss the glide. I miss the whisper of the blades. I miss the smell of the ice as it welcomes you in. I miss all of it, so it was lovely to be back there again, watching some very talented young skaters bring an epic story to life on the ice. 

The costumes were amazing - some were very similar to those in the films, especially Glinda's beautiful pink gowns! They were just stunning and it was clear that a lot of hard work had gone into making this performance as true to the original source material as possible, while still making it viable for skating.  They had three different skaters dancing the lead roles of Glinda and Elphaba, I suppose because it might have been too much for one skater to be constantly on the ice, and this way more girls got a chance at skating these iconic characters. 

The chorus line was made up of skaters of all ages, from the tiniest little tots to adults, all in bedazzling costumes, skating their hearts out for a full house. Some of the costumes had lights on them, others had LED butterfly wings that flashed in bright colours. It was a feast for the eyes! Ariana's voice belted across the rink as the skaters danced their numbers to the movie soundtracks and it was simply spectacular. I was grinning from ear to ear for the entire performance.

They mixed in pop music such as Kylie and Katy Perry and lots and lots of Christmas songs as the skaters wore festive red costumes with white faux fur trim, enjoying Christmas in the Emerald City. I think my favourite aspects of the show were the scenes recreated from the movies - We're Off To See The Wizard, What Is This Feeling, Popular, Dancing Through Life, Changed For Good, Girl In The Bubble and of course, Defying Gravity.  I also liked the cheeky chair dance the Shiz schoolgirls did to the classic Pussycat Dolls song, Buttons, at their first sight of Prince Fiyero - that made me giggle because we've all been bowled over by a mad crush at a young age! It was a fun and flirty dance, aimed at getting Fiyero's attention. 

It was a lovely show, with some very graceful performances. Many of the skaters are medal winners and champions, so you get to enjoy top class figure skating for a fraction of the usual ticket price. It would cost twice as much to see Disney on Ice, and probably even more for professional figure skating championship tickets, so a trip to the local ice rink is great value for money. And they work so hard on these shows all year long, adapting popular fairytales, movies and books into viable ice dance shows, creating choreography, rehearsing, making costumes and scenery etc, it would be such a shame to miss it. 

I'm certainly very glad I went to see the show today. It was beautiful and full of fairytale magic. It was the perfect start to the festive season. Most ice rinks have some kind of event on over the Christmas period, so see what your own local rink has to offer this month. Who knows, you might even be inspired to take up ice skating as a new hobby in 2026. 

I'm certainly considering dusting off my own pretty figure skates and legwarmers! But that will be later on next year, as I have new books to write first of all.  In the meantime, I'm going to make a hot chocolate and watch one of my skating films - I think an Ice Princess and Ice Castles double bill might be on the cards tonight. 

Happy skating!

Marie x

 

WRITER'S DREAM: My Anxiety Relief Card Deck!

 

"Most of all, bear in mind that today can be a great day, tomorrow is a better day and that all shall be well in the future."

On the 1st of November my Anxiety Relief Toolkit was published. However, I have been so busy this month that I haven't had a chance to post about it until now.  This was one of those commissioned projects that made me think "Yes! My editor just gets me and she knows the direction I'm heading with my writing!"  This is my very first full length project that is pure psychology - so no witchery! As such it is being published under my first name of Jacqueline Bruce, which is my second author brand for all my psychology work. 

When my editor first asked me to write a book on overcoming anxiety, I was very excited. Then when she asked if we could possibly make it a card deck, I jumped at the chance and couldn't wait to get writing the book and creating the cards! I had so many ideas, not just in terms of content, but in terms of the overall look of the kit, so I quickly fired an email right back to her, suggesting colours, imagery, themes etc., which she then passed on to the design team.

Anxiety is so debilitating to those who suffer from it, so I wanted my kit to be a safe space for them to turn to. I wanted soft, pastel shades of pink, baby blue, lemon, peach, lilac and pistachio green. I wanted beautiful watercolour artwork and imagery such as butterflies, gliding swans, flying birds, clouds, mountains, trees, leaves, lions and soft beachy waves. So basically, I wanted pretty Laduree colours and soft watercolour images inspired by nature! 

My main goal was to make the kit visually soothing, calming the reader from the moment they opened up the box. I wanted it to be a pretty little toolkit of psychological medicine - I am a psychotherapist after all, so calming and soothing people is just what I do. I'm delighted to say that the team have done everything I asked for and the final book and card deck is so soft and dreamy, with imagery that blossoms across the page and blooms on the cards. It's simply beautiful and I'm so happy with how it turned out. 

The 50 cards are flashcards that act as little prompts and reminders, and which can be used singularly or in conjunction with one another to build up a calming ritual.  I have split the deck into five categories: Affirmations, Self-Soothing, Trigger-Calming, Journal Prompts and Self-Nurturing, making it easier for readers to access the kind of cards they need most at any given moment of crisis, overwhelm or anxiety. Each card describes a psychotherapy based technique and is designed to help readers overcome anxious feelings or bring someone down from the psychological ledge! 

The book is packed with psychological techniques and information, based on my experience of working with clients in practice as a psychotherapist. Like the cards, it is beautifully illustrated with soft watercolour themes inspired by nature, but which also speak of freedom, flight, transformation, strength, grace, gentleness, rebirth and resilience. I put so much thought into how this kit would make readers feel - I wanted it to be like a warm hug from a good friend, a soft space they can land on when life is rough, a soothing experience when the road gets a little bumpy, as roads are wont to do at times. 

In addition, I felt that the cards should be a meditative experience in and of themselves, a beautiful antidote to doom scrolling! I wrote this project so that the cards are their own tool, one you can carry in your bag or pocket if you want to. They don't simply repeat the information I share in the book - that would be pointless. Instead, they each hold a kernel of  psychotherapy wisdom, with tips that can help you to feel better immediately. This meant that I managed to carve out greater word space to tackle more complex issues in the book, by offering more psychology techniques in the flashcards. It also means that when you're not in the mood for reading a book, say because you are feeling overwhelmed, you can pick out a couple of the flashcards and engage with this short form content instead. So simple. So soothing. So easy. And sooo pretty!! 

I was writing this book and card deck back in December/January time and it was a lovely writing experience. I was curled up by the Christmas tree writing away in the glow of the fairy lights, wishing only that the published work would find its way to those people who need it most. I feel such a strong sense of achievement when I am writing my psychotherapy projects. I spent years training, volunteering and working with clients, so to be able to share what I know through my published writing is an honour and a privilege. But then, that was the plan all along. 

I genuinely believe that The Anxiety Relief Toolkit is one of the most important projects I have ever written, because it will help people in a very practical way, and much like my book, The Wiccan Guide to Self-Care, this book and card deck will guide people through hard times in a very soft and gentle way. It would also work well alongside my I Am Grateful Journal that was published earlier this year. 

Life can be tough, we all have challenges and difficulties to face, and everyone is struggling with something. This kit encourages softness as well as growth, surrender as well as strength, calm as well as courage and dreams as well as determination. 

It was a joy to write and to create these cards for you. I hope that it will prove helpful to all those who might be struggling, now and in the future.  And watch this space, because I have already written a second psychotherapy card deck too, as a companion to this one, so that will be out some time in 2026! Exciting times!

Serene Blessings

Marie x

AD: This post promotes my own work, which is published as Jacqueline Bruce. 

The Anxiety Relief Toolkit by Jacqueline Bruce is out now in the UK. It is published on 3rd March 2026 in the USA. 

I Am Grateful: A Workbook to Beat Anxiety & Stress by Jacqueline Bruce is available now.

A Wiccan Guide to Self-Care by Marie Bruce is also available now. 

 

ONCE UPON A DREAM: Ant Middleton Unscripted Tour

 

It is after 11pm and I have just returned home from the Ant Middleton Live and Unscripted Tour.  This was my main birthday outing and I have been looking forward to it for months. Its the third time I have attended one of his seminar tours and I find them so interesting and inspiring. Tonight was no different.

It was a cold evening, so I got all bundled up in my long pink faux fur coat and headed into the city centre.  Once sitting in the theatre with a cosy drink, I settled back and waited for Ant to come along and work his SAS magic on me.  As usual the audience was mostly male, with lots of ex-military men who always shout out in response to Ant's questions such as 'Do we have any Marines in tonight? Any Para's?' and so on. It is generally clear that the bulk of Ant's audience is always men from the armed forces, and I do feel a little out of place, but I like the seminars so much, that its not enough to put me off. And if you're going to be surrounded by men, I'd much rather they were the highly disciplined sort! The man sitting next to me was called Greg and he had served in the Royal Marines. I got talking to him in the interval and he seemed like a nice chap. He was very attentive to me and my mother, making sure that we could see okay because we are petite and discussing Ant's books with me. I love a man who can talk books! So that was nice.

Ant was his usual opinionated self, warning people at the outset that there is nothing WOKE or politically correct about his shows. He often just says what a lot of us are thinking - like why is the British flag suddenly being taken down by police for 'inciting violence' and yet our soldiers are still expected to die violently for it? And why isn't the safety of British women and girls being taken more seriously by our own government? That said, this was not a political rally of any kind. It was simply a seminar where Ant spoke about his adventures as an explorer, mountaineer and soldier. 

I really enjoy hearing his stories, especially the military ones. He is an interesting speaker and his interactions with the audience can spiral into the hilarious at times. On this tour he did mini bootcamps, where he invited volunteers up on stage with him and proceeded to train them in the art of the perfect push up. Needless to say, I did not volunteer - I can't do any kind of push up, let alone a perfect one! I'd like to say its because my wrists are still weak, but the truth is I have never been able to do a single push up and its one of the things my Scots boys used to laugh at me for! The next task was even harder and Ant put volunteers into pairs and told them to stand back to back and link arms. Then they had to sit down and stand up on command, keeping their arms linked! It was very funny, as people struggled to get off the ground or fell over completely! 

I also enjoyed hearing about his plans to climb Mount Everest for the second time. He's going to do that next spring apparently. The phrase 'glutton for punishment' does spring to mind when he talks of all the risky things he's done and plans to do, but I guess he's just one of those people who need to push themselves constantly to be happy. Its not a lifestyle I would enjoy though - I'm far too bookish! 

The main thing I go to Ant's shows for is his motivational mentorship and good humour.  After the tough couple of years I've had with the accident last spring and then all the flashbacks of the hospital this year, I really needed a decent pep talk to get me feeling motivated and optimistic again and Ant Middleton has provided that in spades for me tonight. Its the reason I buy his tickets and books - because I know that they will act as a bit of a spring clean for my mind. He makes me feel like I can do practically anything if I put my mind to it - except climb Everest! I'll leave that to the experts. 

It has been a lovely seminar and I have enjoyed Ant's stories and banter. It was a lot of fun and I'm really glad I chose this as my main birthday outing. I went to see Wicked For Good on my birthday (it was brilliant!), but tonight was the main event and I enjoyed it so much.  Sadly there were no books or programmes on sale this time, but I have all his military self-help books so I'll probably re-read one of those. 

Ant Middleton's Live and Unscripted Tour is running until January 2026, so you might still be able to get tickets if you'd like to see him. Or you could always watch one of his TV shows. I liked Channel 4's Mutiny the best, where he recreates the sea voyage of Captain Bligh from Mutiny on the Bounty. Then of course there are all his excellent self-help books, so even if you can't get to the tour, you can still enjoy Ant's motivational work. 

I certainly had fun tonight. It was a lovely end to a prolonged birthday weekend and now I'm looking forward to the festive season!

Blessed be

Marie x

IVORY TOWER: Pink Shimmer Bedroom!

 

For the past few weeks I have been up to my eyes in wallpaper and paint, redecorating my bedroom and giving it a bit of a makeover. My inspiration was the series of background art images I purchased for my blog, pictured above and the Elven ambient video you can watch here - I love the soft pink world they portray, with roses and doves, books and candles. Its the kind of world I dream of. As a girl, I always had a pink bedroom, but as I grew older my tastes changed slightly, so I have been in the process of turning my deep royal purple room into a shimmering shade of light pink. This was much harder than I thought it would be and it took twice as long as I imagined!

I told my editor that I would be unavailable for the month of October, as I knew if I didn't book the time in to do it, it would never get done. I spent a while packing down all my belongings; clothes, makeup, perfumes, pictures, books etc;  I moved furniture to other rooms and then made a start in October. The room was finally finished at the weekend and I couldn't be happier with the result. It was very hard work and I'm pretty tired out by it, but it was well worth the effort. 

I wanted the room to be soft pink, but I also wanted it to glimmer, like my kitchen and hallway that I redecorated last autumn. They glow in the light and I wanted a similar effect in my bedroom. I chose a beautiful pink wallpaper that has a subtle shimmer in it and we covered every wall. Before, when the room was royal purple, it hugged you as you walked in - like a dark sanctuary. Now it feels like stepping into another realm - one of bright romance and optimism. The walls gleam and glimmer like starlight and when the sun comes in, the whole room lights up with a shimmering rosy glow. I have lots of chiffon and sparkly butterflies dotted around the room, and of course, my swan queens and unicorns. It wouldn't be my room without enchanted swans and magical horses!

I went all out and bought new crushed velvet curtains and bedspread in a soft blush pink, with new golden curtain poles to replace the old ones that had seen better days. I replaced the tired chrome knobs on a cupboard with sparkling new rose gold ones, and put up rose gold hooks for my dressing gowns. I painted the faded gold leaf accents on the bedstead in golden metal paint and I used leftover wallpaper to place new backing behind all my Pre-Raphaelite prints, so that they blend nicely into the pink walls. This makes the actual artwork stand out even more and it looks much nicer than the standard white background such prints usually come with.  I added iridescent bead curtains and pretty butterfly faceted crystal suncatchers to the windows, which make dainty rainbows dance around the room. My old a-ha framed posters were also given a makeover with a coat of sparkling glitter paint (because everything can be improved with a bit of shimmer!) and a few decoupage butterflies glued to the frames. My pretty Viking boys in pretty frames! They look so cute - I'm in love!

I found a hack on You Tube to turn your TV into a golden framed TV with a bit of inexpensive tape, so I did that too and I'm amazed at how well it turned out! My TV now looks like it has a rose gold frame and it looks so nice, I think I will do the TV in the lounge too.  I also got a new picture of glittering roses, which is just lovely. This room was quite a big project and I'd been putting it off for that very reason, but now its all finished, I'm so glad I did it. 

It's my birthday this week and so this room makeover is my birthday present to myself.  There are a couple of things I still need to do - I plan to place faux winter rose vines by the window frame, and hang a few sparkling crowns on the wall by the wardrobe, but I'm still waiting for those to arrive. I also need to spray paint the briar rose candle sconces I have as they are looking a bit worse for wear after all these years, so I'm going to give them a new lease of life with a coat of shimmering rose gold spray paint.  My mother also bought me a tall CD tower in white and a pink rug with roses on it for my birthday, so they are in place too. All in all it has come together quite well and I'm so pleased with how the room looks. 

I am very influenced by my surroundings and my mood is better when I am in a pretty place. I guess its the truth behind the saying 'tidy house, tidy mind'. That has always been true for me. I stayed at my mum's house while I decorated because I just wouldn't have been able to sleep amid so much chaos. Even now, there are all the boxes to unpack and things to organise and put away, but I can do that a box at a time. It will take a little while, but its a good excuse for a declutter and a reorganise, so I'm happy to do it. I'll probably just get everything squared away and it will be time to deck the halls for Yuletide!

For the most part the room is finished and I love the rosy glow it has. It looks pretty in all kinds of light, from sunlight to lamplight to candlelight - it simply shimmers! It feels very magical and it has renewed my own sense of enchantment. Everything sparkles and that sparks joy in me too. The room nurtures me and makes me feel like anything is possible once again. I had lost my sense of possibility I think, but now its back and with it a renewed optimism. 

Because I work from home I spend nearly all my time here, so I need my home to be as beautiful as I can make it. Transforming my bedroom was probably the best birthday present I could have given myself as it has really boosted my mood. Its just so pretty and I feel more like myself now that I have a pink bedroom again. Its a beautiful, glimmering, enchanting space to escape to when the world gets too much and I just need to retreat into a soft, peaceful space. 

My goal was to try and recreate the pink artwork of my blog background to the best of my ability - looking around my room I'd say that I have achieved that. This is still a magical room, but it is now much softer and more feminine, so it reflects the essence of my personality more accurately. With the dominant purple stripped away and replaced with the much softer pink, the room feels more fey than witchy, more enchanting, yet still quite regal in its own way.  It was hard work and time consuming, but the subsequent rosy glow has made it all worth while in the end and it feels like life is coming up roses again. Now all I need is an Elven Prince to charm me with his forever love... a girl can dream!

Serene Blessings

Marie x