WRITER'S DREAM: My Manifestation Workbook Journal!

 

"You may have heard that you must fight for what you want, but what if you could write for what you want instead..?"

Throughout my career as an author I have wanted to write about the alchemical magic and transformation of having a writing practise, in particular a journaling practise.  Many years ago I noticed that the things I wrote about in my diary as if they were pipedreams, would later manifest into my reality. For instance, back in 2003 I wrote "I wish I could write and sing my own album of pagan songs and melodies! That would be so cool!"  Fast-forward to 2007 and I was asked by Paradise Music to write and create an album of pagan and witchy songs that could be used in ritual, leading on to my album Moon Chants being released on Samhain 2009.  I didn't do anything to bring about this opportunity, other than write about the possibility of composing and singing my own songs in my diary a few years earlier.  The point is, I wrote about it and it happened. 

The same thing occurred again when I wrote in 2005 "I'd love to be a witchy columnist in a magazine and write for them each month!"  Then in 2008 an editor contacted me with a suggestion that I become their new columnist and I spent the next eight years writing my Witching Hour column with the top esoteric magazine in the UK, Spirit&Destiny. Again, this opportunity came out of nowhere. I wrote about it in my diary and it just happened. That is the alchemy of a journal writing practise.

Over the years I have also wished for the chance to write about the benefits of writing, journaling and keeping a diary of thoughts, dreams, feelings and ambitions, so I couldn't be more thrilled that I am now creating new Journals for people to use in their own lives. My gratitude Journal, I Am Grateful, was published last year under my first name of Jacqueline Bruce and it explores the concept of gratitude as a tool of emotional regulation and mental well being. More recently, two more of my Journals have just been published too and I wanted to jump on my blog and tell you a bit more about them.

The Manifestation Workbook by Marie Bruce is, in my opinion, the prettiest one of the bunch so far! It was published at the start of January 2026 and I am very excited for its release into the wild.  The floral cover is just beautiful and represents the potential blooming and blossoming of your life as you work your way through the Journal.  It is a soft book, full of pretty pastel shades and dreamy floral watermark imagery that sits quietly in the background of the pages, ready for you to script out your dreams and help them to bloom. The artwork isn't intrusive, rather it is designed to enhance your own written contributions to each page, with beautiful borders and watercolour images inspired by nature.  

There are Power Insights, Journal Prompts that promote self-reflection and personal growth, inspirational quotations from both ancient philosophers and modern celebrities, as well as plenty of space for you to dream on the page and write your future into being. I also wanted there to be space for you to get creative, so there are pretty boxes where you can draw, paint, stick in lists, photos, postcards and tickets from trips that inspired you and so on.  In addition, there is a double page spread specifically designed so that you can create your own portable vision board that aligns with your personal ambitions, right within the heart of the book.

Personally, I always get a little annoyed when I buy a guided journal, only to realise that there is actually very little space for me to write in it, meaning that I have to run out and buy a separate note book to use with the journal. Psychologically, a cramped writing space also makes for a confined way of thinking, so I always want my Journals to have plenty of space for you to dream vastly upon the page! Life is huge, its a big world and your ambitions should be large enough to take up space. I want people to use my Journals to help them dream vastly and expansively. 

I am frequently asked how it is that I tend to get the things that I want and achieve all my goals. The Manifestation Workbook answers that question, because it is largely based on my own life and the things that have worked well for me. It is basically a blueprint of my own strategies for success and how I keep my mind on track so that I achieve my personal goals. It is a tool for making your dreams come to fruition and for daring to allow yourself to dream big. It is designed to nurture your personal ambition and the prompts have been very carefully worded in order to bring to the surface the deepest desires of your heart. 

Like everything I write these days, my numerous years of psychotherapy training is at the epicentre of all my Journals and each one contains tried and tested psychological tools for you to try out, be that the concept of Free Play, Time Structuring, Self-Reflection or something else.  In fact, the act of journaling is in itself, a form of Scripting, which is a series of written exercises, letters and prompts that we use in psychotherapy to help people assimilate their past, present and future selves. It is a powerful psychological technique and it is present to some degree in all of my Journals.  

I think this is important to stress, because we live in a world of Pseudo-Psychologists who populate social media and offer advice and techniques that they are not really qualified to give, so you do have to be careful. Rest assured that my own Journals are the result of five years of university training in Psychotherapy and Therapeutic Counselling, with the graduate degree to match and the subsequent experience in practice with clients, so I know what I'm talking about!

In light of this, my third Journal, which was also published recently, is one of self-reflection. The Me and Mine Journal by Jacqueline Bruce is specifically designed to help you get to know yourself on a much deeper level. It is also meant to deepen your relationships with family and friends, as well as showing you how to navigate your way through a world that can often seem too loud, when all you want is peace. This is a Journal of self-discovery, asking you to consider exactly what your needs are, and if they are currently being met to the high standard that you deserve? The Me and Mine Journal will help you to rediscover Yourself and Your Inner Child, as well as key areas of your life such as Seasonal Changes, Relationships,  Ambitions and Hobbies, Emotional Intelligence and so on.  Again, there is plenty of space within the Journal for you to respond to the psychotherapy based prompts, and the unintrusive art work is soft pen and ink drawings of leaves, flowers and aspects of nature. 

These Journals are meant to be a collaboration between me and you and the universe. They are a place of co-creation, where you play a vital role in the completion of these books. In all of my Guided Journals, my authorial voice is much softer, more of a gentle whisper in the background, urging you to fill out the pages yourself.  That, I feel, is how a Guided Journal works best.  These are the books where I, the author, step back, while you, the reader, become the main author of the work - and indeed, of your life. Because in these books, it is your contribution that forms the most important word count! You will get out of them as much as you choose to put in. 

My hope is that you will come to love these Journals that I have created and that you will come to see them as close bookish friends and companions through life. All my Journals are timeless, so they are not attuned to a specific year or seasonal cycle, meaning that you can pick them up and dive right in whenever and wherever you happen to discover them. 

Much like my blog, they are a soft, safe space for you to turn to when life gets a little fraught and hectic and you need a gentle reminder that it is okay to slow down, to take a  moment, to reflect and observe, and most of all, to enjoy all the days of your life. I hope that you will embrace these Guided Journals, hold them close to your heart and treasure them as the precious tools of insight and transformation they were designed to become, and that you will make a sacred ritual out of your journaling practise. Happy Journal writing!

Serene Blessings

Marie x

AD: This post promotes my own work as detailed below:

The Manifestation Workbook by Marie Bruce was published on 1st January 2026 and is available now.

The Me and Mine Journal by Jacqueline Bruce was published on 30th September 2025 and is available now. 

The I Am Grateful Journal by Jacqueline Bruce was published on 1st October 2025 and is available now. 

ONCE UPON A DREAM: Winter Hibernation

"...you must learn not to have those around you drink your energy. I have learnt the hard way. As a child I used to give away light like it was nothing. Those without it would fill themselves up with all that good energy like I was an eternal font. The purest light attracts the most impenetrable darkness."

from Hex by Jenni Fagin

We finally have a bit of sparkly winter weather, with our first proper snowfall of this winter making everything gleam! This is Mother Nature's reminder that the winter season is meant to be a time to bunker down, rest and dream of a brighter tomorrow. Hibernation is the key word at this time of the year, but I must be honest and confess that I have been in hibernation mode since early 2025!

Over the last couple of years I have reassessed my life and I have noticed a pattern. Like lots of empathic and compassionate people, I tend to give away too much of my light. I am very quick to step forward and help someone, to take on the responsibility for their safety and wellbeing. While this isn't a bad thing, and lord knows the world needs more kindness, too much of it can be detrimental to our own health and wellbeing. When it becomes a habit, as it had with me, it can lead to lots of one sided relationships that do not serve you, but only serve to drain you, leaving you exhausted.

Relationships should be reciprocal, meaning that you should get as much from them emotionally as you are giving. If that reciprocation isn't there, then that isn't a relationship - its a master/servant dynamic, one where you serve a purpose in someone's life and they are happy to keep you around for as long as you are prepared to serve, but you get nothing in return. You give, they take - but it never works the other way around. It's not a fair dynamic  - and it certainly isn't love! Or even friendship.  If anything, it demonstrates a complete absence of love and respect on their part. They have a use for you and that is all. 

2024 completely altered my perspective on life. It was a great highlighter year, showing me where all my energy had been going - into the black hole of false attachments and sporadic acquaintance, with absolutely no return on my investment! People would phone me when they felt down, heartbroken or they were having a bad time. Men would flirt with me when they were going through a rough patch with their wives or girlfriends and their ego needed a boost. Their attitude seemed to be "Ring Marie. She'll make you feel better." And I did. I was happy to, but when I was the one who needed a bit of cheering up after the riding accident, I didn't see any of them for dust! They were all far too busy, too far away, too out of touch, deliberately unreachable. In fact, I received more affection and support from my editor and publishing house than I got from those who claimed to love and care for me! At first I made excuses for them, like you do. But slowly, in the midst of their absence and silence, I came to the conclusion that I needed to start withdrawing my energy, to take back all my love and light and keep it to myself. 

As 2025 rolled in, I thought things were actually changing and I handed round second chances like a bag of sweets. Suddenly the phone was ringing most days, group chats were a thing I never signed up for but found myself in the middle of anyway, jokes were shared, promises exchanged, plans made (which turned out to be no more than pipedreams and future faking), male admiration quickly turned into resentment and intimidation at my academic achievements, and longed for reconnections at first made my heart soar - and then shatter into a million pieces. There are some heartbreaks you just can't ignore or make excuses for, particularly when you see that such cruelty was a deliberate act, and done with considerable force.  My PTSD was being triggered left, right and centre by the endless tiffs their male egos demanded, all so that they could compare notes and turn me into a discussion point of male bonding. I was exhausted and shattered by it all. And I'd had enough. 

So early on in 2025 I decided to withdraw my energies, to pull back my love and light and to begin to conserve it as the vital resource it is. I demanded space. I am not a never ending flow of love and support.  My well of light was vastly diminished and what was left of it, I needed to use for my own continued healing journey, rather than handing it over to someone else. I was still recovering from the trauma of the hospital and the accident, but as women often do, I had put my own needs to one side in favour of helping others.  In short, I had a bad case of compassion fatigue and emotional burnout.  I have been in emotional recovery from it ever since. 

Compassion fatigue basically means that you have been giving too much to others for far too long. You feel that you have nothing left to give anymore. You have no energy for your own life, because you have spent too much of it enhancing the lives of other people, being on call whenever they want you etc. It's like the steady drip of water from a pipe - if you ignore it it will turn into a flood, so you must find the leak and fix it to prevent further damage. That is what I set about doing for myself and my energy in 2025. I examined my life to see where the drip of energy was leaking out and this is what I discovered: 

 

• A sporadic acquaintance is not the same as a friend, so they don't yet deserve the perks of friendship.
• If someone leaves for a number of years, for work or education, they effectively become strangers, and again, they don't deserve the perks of friendship.
• Never write anything without a contract in place that has been signed by both parties. 
• Never sing anything without a contract in place that has been signed by both parties.
• The police do a difficult job, but it's not my job to help them with it.  
• A charm offensive is very convincing, but the signs are always there, if you look. So look.
• Never ignore the red flags. Highlight them, then leave. 
• Social media is designed to sap your life of all meaning and to rot your brain. Don't allow it. 
• Just because I am a qualified counsellor doesn't mean that I am obliged to help anyone and everyone who is going through a rough patch. 
• Healing hurts. It takes time. Physical healing is faster than mental and emotional healing, but all three need to happen before you are fully healed.  Allow this space. 
• Accidents, injury and healing changes you and your perspective on life. 
• The people who are at your hospital bed are the ones you can rely on.
• Yo-yo men are a waste of energy - just cut the string! Be done with it. 
• Men who are intimidated by a woman's achievements and academic success have some serious growth to do. Don't let it stop you from succeeding anyway. 
• Never feed the male ego by responding to the ridiculous tiffs they instigate. This is simply rage-baiting IRL. I learnt that through experience. You don't have to. 
• Understand the difference between a gift and a bribe. A gift is given freely, no expectations, no cover-up, no strings attached. I don't respond to bribery.  Even if its called compensation. 
• Scam callers aren't just irritating, they drain your energy. 
• People pleasing is damaging to your wellbeing.
• My talent is strong and authentic, people will want to purchase it, but I am not for sale. Only the work is up for grabs.
• A meeting of the minds is not the same as a meeting of the hearts. Love matters. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

This kind of life edit is a form of self-care. Once I had identified these leaks of energy, I set about fixing them. Most were simple enough - I just distanced myself mentally and emotionally from the drains, or I blocked them completely. 

I focused on my work, writing new books and psychology decks for publication in 2026. 

I signed up for a new academic course. 

I stopped answering my phone, unless it was my mother. 

I did a lot of journaling.

I scrapped my old car and the endless new batteries it was constantly draining. 

I stopped my hobbies and just stayed home more.

I slept and rested more. I allowed myself the time to heal that my body and mind needed.

I refused the bribery of compensation payments. 

I told the police to do a better job, that I wouldn't do it for them. 

I booked a holiday to the Highlands for this year. 

I took Christmas and New Year off work for the first time in ten years.

I invested in an answer phone.

Detachment = peace = Victory Ever After.

Most importantly, I began to put myself first. I had always been in the habit of asking people What do you need, what can I do to help? The people pleasing had gone into overdrive, so I turned it around and instead I began to ask What do I need, what can I do to feel better right now? The PTSD screamed back Build the barricades! Pile the books high! I replied with How about we just do a bit of nesting, to make the fortress as comfy and cosy and pretty as possible? How about we read the books and enjoy them, and perhaps re-organise the library next year? So that's exactly what I did and two of the most beneficial things I did for myself in 2025 was to give my bedroom a beautiful pink makeover, and invest in an answering phone. It is quite surprising how much this has calmed and soothed my spirits. My room is a restful retreat once more, but its also light and bright and ethereal. And it shimmers! 

The answer phone gives me peace of mind because scammers don't leave messages, they just stop calling! Screening all my calls also means that I am not interrupted when I'm writing, or reading new books for review.  And men can't instigate their ego driven, rage-baiting tiffs with a machine! I honestly wish I'd got an answer phone much sooner. I had one years ago and I had forgotten the additional layer of personal protection it offers. It creates a soft barrier between you and the outside world. Those who know me will leave a message, those who don't or who are ringing for nefarious reasons will simply hang up. Either way, my peace is protected. My soft space remains just that - soft, quiet and peaceful. It was the best purchase of 2025!

I spent much of the last twelve months withdrawing my energy in this way, being more selective in who I communicate with and how, thinking about where my energy goes and how this makes me feel in the long term. I've attempted to delete from my life anything that drains me and so far it's going well. This is the first winter in more than a decade that I haven't had to be anywhere - no job to go out to, no external hobbies such as skating or music school, no night classes, no ice to smash on field troughs or horses to exercise in the depths of winter, no books to write over Christmas and New Year weeks.  I spent Boxing Day watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy and New Years Day watching The Hobbit trilogy. It was the best fun! Its something I've been wanting to do for years, but never had the time.  I was always too busy working, studying, writing. This is the first winter in more than ten years where I can truly hibernate and enjoy the season for what it is meant to be - a time of rest and recuperation. A time to nourish my roots and recover from the past few year's activity and all the harsh lessons learnt. 

I haven't interacted with a man or a sporadic acquaintance in months - unless the postman counts! - and suddenly I feel so much calmer and happier than I have in years! It's been bliss. I wish I'd identified all their games much sooner, but better late than never. My world is quiet and feminine, dreamy and ethereal once more. Withdrawing my energy, keeping my love and light to myself, for myself, is certainly working. I feel calm, soft, safe and centred, sure in the knowledge that should the need arise once more, I have the capability to defend and protect myself, but that I need not be in fighting mode all the time. Even a warrior princess needs some time off! Even a Bruce is entitled to rest after the battle is won. 

I feel grounded in the best way. I've taken charge of my time and my attention, instead of letting it be syphoned off by people who do not have my best interests at heart, who only have a use for me, a purpose for me to fill in their lives, or a egotistical game to play.  Now I spend my days quietly at home, writing my books, reading books for review, watching films and boxsets, taking Lush baths, enjoying my quieter indoor hobbies such as tapestry and art therapy, listening to sassy female musicians like Sabrina Carpenter and Rose who were the sound of my summer last year. Taylor's Life of Showgirl has been playing on repeat since my birthday. And I am the most relaxed I've been in years! 

Men are the biggest conundrum to me - brave yet brutal, courageous yet conniving, false and faithless, sweet yet selfish, controlling disguised as protective, apparently supportive yet secretly resentful, afraid to make a move yet angry because we don't just jump naked into their arms! They want the chase, the challenge, but then they berate us for not making it easier for them, for expecting them to actually step up in a real way before we return their interest, for wanting them to show and tell that our devotion is returned, that they are not just a sponge absorbing all our adoration as if they are entitled to it and giving nothing back. Their beauty is only skin deep and their cruelty knows no bounds, but at least they are providing female musicians with a plethora of material to sing about!  Personally, they are a puzzle I have decided I really can't be bothered to solve.  

From now on I will be putting myself first in all things, in all respects. And I shall certainly continue my peaceful hibernation mode well into 2026. It's working like a charm and I couldn't be happier in my quiet little nest! 

How have you been spending your energy? Where has your love and light been going, and is there any return on your investment. If not, this might be the winter you need to withdraw too. 

Hibernation mode ON.

Serene Blessings,

Marie x

BOOK NOOK: Spectacular by Stephanie Garber

"It was just what she feared.

Tella could feel her heart sinking as she stood there on the snowy sidewalk. She tried not to let it show. She didn't want him to go out now and get her a gift out of pity or fear. 

She wanted one given out of love."

A gentle hush seems to drop over the world during these last few days of Christmas, before everything returns to normal on January 6th. I always like this much quieter phase of the festive period. Yesterday I went out to the theatre to see a production of A Christmas Carol and it was a wonderful play, with lots of singing and ghostly shenanigans. I haven't been to see a play for a couple of years, so it was a lovely way to end the festivities. 

Today I felt the need to be much quieter and self-contained, so I curled up by the fire to read a Christmassy book. I chose Spectacular by Stephanie Garber and I have been engrossed in it for much of the evening. It is set in the same world as her Caraval series, which I haven't read yet but it is on my tbr list. However, you don't need to have read the original series to read Spectacular, as it is a novella that stands alone. 

It is a wonderful book of magic and mystery and illusion, where nothing is quite as it seems. Tella is an adventurous young woman who is on the hunt for the perfect gift for her boyfriend. She needs something that will make him sit up and take notice of her, something that will urge him to declare his feelings for her, because she is doubtful that he actually loves her. She is hoping that her gift will prompt him to make a grand romantic gesture, so that she doesn't need to question his feelings for her anymore. In short, she is in need of some romantic reassurance from her beaux and she is using the festive season as a way to try and get her needs met!

Her hunt for the perfect gift is cut short however, when she stumbles across a boy selling colourful candy that smells just a little too tempting - and so Tella's adventure begins. She is swept away to another place, full of strangers and intrigue, toys that are alive, chimney smoke that smells like cinnamon and Nutcrackers that steal your dreams. 

This little book is full of festive magic, enchanted snowflakes, sinister blindfolds and a captivatingly seductive magician at its heart. As Tella is drawn into this new world, she discovers that temptation can be a fun game to play, but wonders just how far is she willing to go to discover the truth about the conjurer who is playing with her mind?  Are some illusions worth staying in the midst of, when reality is falling far short of romantic expectations? Is fantasy better than reality? Sometimes it is, for reality has a nasty habit of shattering our illusions and breaking our hearts. 

Perhaps the best romances are the ones where both fantasy and reality merge together into one epic relationship, one truly compelling lover. Tella does her best to find her way back to her true love, but she is captivated by the fantasy that holds her in its grip and helplessly drawn to the sexy illusionist who is spinning sugar and spice and all things nice to tempt her.  It's a mesmerising world and it kept me gripped until the final page. 

The book is beautifully illustrated throughout, with a red ribbon bookmark and a gold gingerbread house embossed on the front of the hard cover.  It is a very pretty book, both inside and out. I enjoyed it immensely and I have never read a festive story quite like this one. I have a few of Stephanie Garber's novels on my bookshelves so I think I will dive into more of her work in the coming days. 

Spectacular has provided me with a lovely escape into a sexy world of whimsical magic, enchantment and illusion this evening. It's only short, being a novella, so you can read it in an afternoon or an evening. This brevity makes it the perfect Christmassy book to finish off the festive period, before the return to work commences next week. 

Happy reading!

Serene Blessings

Marie x

AD: This book was sent to me by the publisher, Hodder and Stoughton, for the purposes of review. It is out now in all formats. 

BOOK NOOK: Nordic Tales by Ulla Thynell

 

"...he would do all the prince wished, if he only wouldn't squeeze his heart to pieces..."

from The Giant Who Had No Heart.

The festive season has been damp and grey in England this year, with lots of foggy days and misty mornings but nothing at all in the way of snow or pretty sparkly weather. The endless cloud has left me wishing for snowy adventures, so I turned to this book of Nordic Tales, hoping to find a more magical festive atmosphere within its pages and it didn't disappoint me at all.

I have had the book on my shelves for some years, but never got around to reading it fully. I'm so glad that I saved it for Christmastime. Nordic Tales is an enchanting collection of fairytales from across the Scandinavian countries. Most of them I had never read before, so there was a sense of exploration and adventure as I savoured each tale.  I enjoy exploring all kinds of folklore, but there is something very intriguing about reading the folk tales of countries that are foreign to me. I thought that I knew most fairytales, but here was a whole collection that I hadn't yet discovered. It was like finding treasure!

I read the book slowly, over the course of a week or so, because I wanted to relish each story. The language of the book sounds very similar to the way in which modern Norse people speak English - they have their own way of speaking, of arranging their words into a sentence, which is very musical to the ear and something I find particularly delightful. 

This book is written in the same way, so it feels as if you are being told the stories by an old friend from the northlands, which can be very comforting during the darker nights of winter.  It's like inviting a Viking storyteller into your home to spin tales by the hearthside, to keep you company through the darkest nights of the year. 

I read one or two stories each night, beginning on the winter solstice and trying to make the adventure last as long as possible. The only tale in the collection that I was already very familiar with is East of the Sun, West of the Moon and I am happy to say that this version has a traditional ending which made me so happy.  In reading this anthology however, I have discovered some new favourites including The Forest Bride, which is a lovely tale of transformation, romance and enchantment. What little mouse wouldn't want to be loved for her quiet, shy, gentle nature, rather than spurned for it? Only a true prince would ever see the value in a tiny forest mouse. Only a true prince would understand her need to hide away, for the world is too loud, too big for her. And yet she is more than she seems!

I also liked Hildur, Queen of the Elves, Mighty Mikko and his cunning fox friend, the dancing shoes tale of Old Nick and the Girl, The True Bride, The Giant Who Had No Heart and the ghostly, seafaring adventures of Jack of Sjoholm and the Gan-Finn.  Each tale in the book is fantastical in its own way and you will find stories of transformation, wit and marvellous journeys. There is plenty of magic and enchantment that will keep you captivated, transporting you to the beautiful mountains and fijords of Norway, Finland, Sweden etc, where the Northern Lights dance through the sky and the forests are deep and mysterious. Reading it has felt like a festive Nordic holiday in a book!  

The anthology is richly illustrated by Finnish artist Ulla Thynell, and there are full colour plates for each story depicting high mountains, dark forests, mysterious doorways, castles, trolls, dragons and of course, boats because the Norse are seafaring people. The book also has a pretty red ribbon book mark, so it would make a nice gift for a bookworm who enjoys fairytales and folklore. 

I haven't been feeling especially festive this year - the weather has been dismal, I am longing for the sight of snowy landscapes, and also many of my friends are far away - so reading this book has been a great comfort to me and it has brought some of those people much closer, in my heart and mind at least. 

It has been lovely to just climb into bed each night amid the glow of the bedroom fairy-lights, and read a story from Nordic Tales, allowing my imagination to wander where I cannot, to feel connection with people I haven't seen in a very, very long time, to linger in a part of the world that means something significant to me, yet which seems so unreachable - all via the power of storytelling. This anthology of Nordic fairytales has been a wonderful, magical escape, a true north star guiding me through the dark season. 

And who knows, England might get a bit of frosted sparkly weather come January.  This little ice maiden would be glad of it. It would match my inner landscape of frosted silver white and frozen heart!

Happy reading!

Bright Blessings

Marie x

AD: This book is published by Chronical Books and is out now. 

ONCE UPON A NIGHTMARE: Christmas Crises

 

Its a long post so grab a cuppa! 

Christmas can be a dangerous time for women and children, with rates of domestic violence and sexual abuse increasing during the festive period. This is an uncomfortable truth that society as a whole shies away from. It doesn't align with the tinsel-touting message of it being the season of comfort and joy. It is much easier to imagine happy families gathered  around the Christmas tree, smiling, laughing and opening gifts, or to think of loving couples going out on festive dates together and enjoying the extra time with one another. However, the fact is that many women and children face a torrent of abuse during the Christmas and New Year period.

With the alcohol flowing freely and time off from work, tempers can be quick to spark. A little joke or gentle teasing can be enough to flare up someone's temper and suddenly the Christmas cheer has evaporated and fists start flying. Drunkenness and drug use, which numb logical thinking, can also increase the risk of someone becoming violent and aggressive. What started out as festive family-fun may end with a sudden attack, resulting in a battered wife or beaten kids. 

Add to that the increase in sexual attacks too, with office parties, nightclubs, pubs, concerts and theatres all being prime hunting ground for any predator. You might not know that you have been working alongside a sexual predator until you become his next victim, because these individuals tend to be adept at masking their true nature.  But Christmas joviality and drunkenness is the perfect excuse for them to get a little too close, a little too friendly, a little too into the rough play. 

In clubs, pubs and concerts you need to watch out for drink spiking or being hit with a rape injection on the dancefloor. If a stranger offers to help you outside, or take you somewhere quieter, say no. Find a bouncer or member of staff to help you instead, or go to the bar and ask to speak to Angela - in the UK, this is the national code word to let staff know that you are in trouble and need help. Personally I think we should have similar national code words in hospitals and hotels too, because sometimes the predators are in trusted positions of power and we need a way to escape them. Try not to get into a taxi alone and stay with your friends, travelling home together, even if this means a sleepover at a mate's house. If you notice that your pee is a pretty colour, such as pink, red, purple or blue, this is a sure indication that your drink was spiked. Don't ignore it - that nice chap you were chatting too could be the one who spiked your drink. Take action and either ask for Angela or leave the venue with your friends and get yourself home as soon as you can. 

It's unfortunate that women have to think of these things, that we need to have contingency plans in place before we head out for a festive drink or go to a party, but until men change their predatory nature, its just something we have to do. After all, A Girl's Gotta Do What A Girl's Gotta Do, as Kathleen Baty would say. Predators will always target the vulnerable and those they deem easy prey, so take steps to make sure you do not present yourself to the world in this way. Better to be called a bitch for being a bit spiky, than to trust the wrong man and regret it.  Just because a man seems nice, doesn't mean that he is safe. He could be using a charm offensive to reel you in. 

Even the nicest of men have a habit of using the bait and switch tactic on women they are interested in. By this I mean that he will begin the relationship full of care and consideration for you, he will be gentle and tender towards you, he might even indulge in a bit of future-faking too. That's the bait. It's what draws you in and sparks your interest in him.  Once he sees that you are falling for him however, he will make the switch, suddenly turning on you and becoming arrogant and obnoxious. He might deliberately pick a fight, just to see how you respond. His words are likely to be brutal and cruel.  He does this because he wants to know how much he can get away with and how capable you are at standing up for yourself.  Once he has tested the ground and assessed the strength of your boundaries, he becomes soft and sweet to you again. 

Such behaviour can be very confusing - and it is designed to be! He reels you in just to give you a psychological slap in the face, when all you did was show that you like him. As he oscillates between a charm offensive and brutal word-play, he is using a basic power game to keep you off kilter, to make you unsure of yourself, unsure of him and of the relationship. Then he will accuse you of being insecure, or he will berate you for not trusting him! 

And they ALL seem to do this! They even joke about it like its funny, referring to it as 'a tiff', when in actual fact what it was is mental cruelty and emotional abuse.  And its not okay. 

Of course, couples will always have differences of opinion, even arguments at times. That's a natural aspect of any relationship, but if he is deliberately picking fights with you, making you cry so often you begin to think twice before you say anything because you don't want to upset him (?!) that's not just a difference of opinion. That's abuse. As a result of this behaviour, you become extremely guarded, quiet, and more reserved in your communication. That's how men have successfully silenced women for centuries. 

So why do women endure this dynamic within their intimate relationships? It's because we have been trained from a very young age to do just that. If you grew up with brothers, as I did, you were trained to endure his teasing and bullying, before accepting his gruff hug as an apology. You were told to stop sulking and play nice. In society we are told to let it go and move on, forgive and forget, to kiss and make up. In this way, girls are trained to become the women who will accept such behaviour from men. 

In psychotherapy we call this relational dynamic the abuse and reconciliation cycle. He is charming, then brutal, then charming again. Over and over, sometimes for years or decades. This cycle of behaviour can include the verbal and emotional abuse stated above, but it can also mean physical and/or sexual abuse too. And the thing about abuse is - it escalates. A push becomes a shove, which becomes a slap, which becomes a beating. Understanding the patterns of abuse and the psychology of abusive men is essential learning for all women, I believe, because how else will you recognise it in time to get out before its too late? 

And men need to understand that when they lose their temper and become angry, perhaps even breaking and smashing things, it can be very intimidating to a woman. Men are naturally much bigger and stronger than we are, and even if they have no intention of physically harming us, we don't know that! All we feel is the threat of a potential attack. Seriously lads, either simmer down, or take it to the gym.

When I lived with my ex-fiancé we didn't have one good Christmas. Not one. In the seven years we lived together, each festive season would follow the same pattern. I'd put the tree up, full of love and and hope that this would be a lovely season for both of us, that we would make our own traditions. Then the nights out with his mates and the festive parties would begin. His workplace party was usually the trigger for his excessive drinking etc., and he would come home in the early hours, rolling drunk and aggressive. He would pick a fight with me, sometimes even waking me up in the middle of the night just to argue. And then the shit-show would really kick off - punching walls and doors, smashing my things (always my stuff, never his), screaming in my face etc, before the grand finale when he would pick up the carefully decorated Christmas tree and throw it across the room, sparks flying as the fairy lights were ripped apart.

 The implication was "Me big man! Me throw plastic tree! Huh!"  It would have been funny - if it hadn't been so intimidating, as it was meant to be. 

I should never have endured it for so long. But I did. I had nowhere else to go. 

Every year I was with him the Christmas tree would go flying across the room. Every. Single. Year.  One year, he followed it up by flinging his plate of Christmas dinner across the room too, then a couple of minutes later he announced that he was going to his mother's house because there was "nothing to eat here!"  His mother fed him like a king, happy to have her precious little boy home on Christmas Day. I often wonder if he ever told her why he'd turned up unexpectedly, if he ever confessed his brutally bad behaviour towards me to his own family? Somehow, I doubt it. Not that they would have cared. They would have found it funny. They didn't much like me anyway.

Of course, in floods of tears, I cleaned up the mess, as women always do. I righted the tree. I rehung the baubles that could be salvaged, swept up the broken ones and put them in the bin, threw my dinner in the bin too. No appetite for it now.  What was the point? Christmas was already destroyed - and by the very man who claimed to love me. There were other incidents too, like the time he pushed and held my head under water when I was in the bath, or the time he pulled a knife and suggested we make a suicide pact because, in his words, "You'd do it if you loved me". His hero was Sid Vicious which I think was the inspiration behind that particular moment - the whole Sid and Nancy thing. Needless to say, it was pretty scary.

I didn't tell anyone about the things that had happened. I kept it all to myself. When the man you love becomes the threat and your home becomes unsafe, what do you do, where do you go? When a man makes the choice to use his strength against you - and it is a choice - how do you respond? Hide, fight back and risk escalation, or endure it? You endure, until you can endure it no longer. I was young, in my early twenties, and I didn't understand then that domestic abuse, or any kind of abuse, doesn't always mean a punch in the face. You don't have to have cuts and bruises or broken bones to be in an abusive relationship. But it took me a while to understand that. 

I remember the day when the penny finally dropped. It was summer. He'd had another tantrum and stormed out of the house. I was on my hands and knees, sobbing as I cleaned up broken glass and wiped my blood from the floor. My blood, never his.  Then time just stopped, in a moment of crystal clear clarity - I sat back on my haunches and said to myself "This is abuse. This isn't love. I'm in an abusive relationship. How did that happen? I need to get out"  And that was the start of the extraction process, as I began to make plans to end the engagement and make a fresh start on my own. 

That was back in summer 1999. I broke up with him that September and ended our engagement. We never got as far as planning the wedding. Thank God! He wasn't receptive to the breakup, as abusive men don't like to lose control, so I had another six months of hell as he was regularly arrested by the police for his menacing and aggressive stalking. Another long, six months before I finally thought of myself as being free. It was one of the hardest times of my life and I wasn't yet 25.

And people wonder why I'm single.

I have lived alone and been commitment phobic ever since! Once bitten, twice shy. I spend Christmas alone now, or with my mum. Its safer that way. Solitude is the safest place I know. Abuse of any kind leaves lasting, but often invisible scars. Each year when I put up my pretty pink tree, I think back to that time in my life. I hang pretty, fairytale ornaments knowing that they will be treasured, rather than trashed, that the tree will be dismantled and put away properly in the New Year, rather than destroyed. 

I think back to that time as I decorate my tree. I think of all the women who are also decorating their trees and hoping for a lovely festive season. Then I send a little prayer of strength to those women who, like my younger self, will witness their carefully decorated tree fly across the room this Christmas, at the hands of the man they love and adore. Or perhaps they will endure something much worse. 

Yes, Christmas can be a dangerous time for women and children. 1 in 4 women experiences some form of domestic abuse in her lifetime and 45% of all adult female murder victims are killed by a current or ex-partner, according to Refuge. It's not paranoia to take steps towards your personal safety. It's survival.  This post highlights fragments of my own story, but there are many others who have had similar experiences.

But remember dearest one, Christmas trees are not meant to fly. 

So if your tree takes flight across the house this year, it is trying to tell you that you are in a bad place and you need to get out. It's not easy, it can be difficult, but it is possible. 

In which case, the links below may prove useful to you. These are free charity services and they are there to help.  Remember that if you and your children are in immediate danger to call 999 and ask for the police, or ask to order a pizza - this is another code word to let the operator know you need help but aren't safe to speak openly. Or you can simply tap on your phone and they will guide you from there.

Domestic and sexual abuse are both rife within our society and sadly the same woman can often experience different types and levels of abuse at different times in her life. That's not unusual. It's just one of the things society turns a bind eye to. But please don't. If you suspect someone you know is being abused, please don't turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. Reach out. Softly, gently and with compassion. You might be saving a life. 

I wish you all nothing but peace, joy and safety, throughout the festive season and beyond.

Blessed and Protected Be

Marie x

Refuge - for help with Domestic Abuse. 

Rape Crisis - for help in the aftermath of Rape & Sexual Assault.

Shelter - for help with Homelessness (including displacement due to domestic abuse). 

Karma Nirvana - for help with Honour Based Abuse & Forced Marriage

Samaritans - for General Support and Sign-Posting to other services.

Childline - for youngsters under 19 who need Help & Support

Symptoms of Domestic Abuse - interesting article that's worth reading - knowledge is power

The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker - an important book that could actually save your life one day. 

BOOK NOOK: The Unwinding by Jackie Morris

"And so it seemed to her that he had always been a part of the landscape of her life, this great white bear. She brought him rosehips to sweeten his days, tried to explain how, once they had been flowers, but now were seeds. 

He had never seen a rose.  He told her stories, coloured with every shade of white, and spoke of a sky that danced with lights..." 

The Unwinding and Other Dreamings by Jackie Morris, is a book that I reach for every winter season. It is a tiny little book, but one that is filled with so much charm it lingers in the mind long after the final page has been read. It also features my favourite illustrations by this artist - a red curtained wagon, hung with glowing lanterns and filled with shelves of books, like a mobile library, which is being pulled along by a great white bear. The bear is ridden by a lady with long dark, Rapunzel hair and she reads as she goes, lost in her world of words and dreams. Later in the book she is shown sleeping peacefully with her polar bear as their dreams mingle to become one story of love and devotion. She is a storyteller and a collector of dreams, and she and her ice bear travel the world with their Library of Lost Dreams and Half-Imagined Things. 

As the title suggests, this is a book of dreamings and imaginings, lavishly illustrated with the author's stunning watercolour artworks, it is a book that is designed to dip in and out of, to read slowly as you savour each story.  The fairytales presented here are fantastical and whimsical, set in snowy landscapes and autumnal woodlands. There are fourteen tales in all, each one unique and lyrical and the book ends with a magical blessing of the wild creatures. 

In this little volume of winter magic you will find the dreams of the ice bears, a fox wedding, moon gazing hares,  a new take on Little Red Riding Hood, winged monkeys, fish that fly and the queen of winter.  There are philosophical questions such as what are the shapes of your dreams and where does love reside? Is a story really just a series of questions and answers or something more, and do all questions need an answer to be valid, or are the questions valid in themselves? Where do dreams come from, how do they take form in our mind and can we dream something into being, into our reality? I believe that we can.

This gorgeous book is full of wisdom that will lead you to ask yourself such questions and possibly many more too. It is a book that makes you think, makes you dream, makes you long to dance on a boat in the arms of a polar bear, and dream of a love that thrives in the space between the notes of a bird's song. The author has prescribed this book like medicine, "Take one story last thing at night before bed, then tuck the book beneath your pillow..." It is certainly a lovely distraction from stress and anxiety, leading the reader to a calming realm of fantasy, fairytale and the enduring, unconditional love we can find in our animal friends. It would make a great stocking filler for an older child, teenager or anyone who loves fairytales and beautiful artwork of a whimsical nature. 

The Unwinding and Other Dreamings is the kind of book you will want to curl up with on Christmas Eve, so that you can be spirited away by the dancing ice bears to their realm of icicle dreams and visions of snowy splendour.  "But if you wake to the light to find a book beside your bed - small, bound in beautiful covers - then you will know that in the night they travelled past, that you were dreaming, even if the waking has swept the memory of your dream far from you. You will know they followed the scent..." and visited you in the wee small hours of the night!

Enjoy the dreaming! Wishing you a peaceful and blessed winter season, wherever you are. Have a wonderful day. 😺 

With love from,

Marie x🫶

SLIPPERS & SKATES: Defying Gravity On Ice

Today I went to see the Christmas ice dance show at my local ice rink, where I used to skate. They put on a new show every December and I have been to a few of them, but I think that the performance I watched today is the best one they have ever done. It is called Defying Gravity and it is an amalgamation of The Wizard of Oz, Wicked and Wicked for Good, all with a festive twist.

As soon as I walked into the rink I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me. It was so nice to be back there again. It is a place that is very familiar to me, and it used to be a source of comfort and relaxation. I haven't skated in quite a while and today just served to remind me of how much I miss it. I miss the glide. I miss the whisper of the blades. I miss the smell of the ice as it welcomes you in. I miss all of it, so it was lovely to be back there again, watching some very talented young skaters bring an epic story to life on the ice. 

The costumes were amazing - some were very similar to those in the films, especially Glinda's beautiful pink gowns! They were just stunning and it was clear that a lot of hard work had gone into making this performance as true to the original source material as possible, while still making it viable for skating.  They had three different skaters dancing the lead roles of Glinda and Elphaba, I suppose because it might have been too much for one skater to be constantly on the ice, and this way more girls got a chance at skating these iconic characters. 

The chorus line was made up of skaters of all ages, from the tiniest little tots to adults, all in bedazzling costumes, skating their hearts out for a full house. Some of the costumes had lights on them, others had LED butterfly wings that flashed in bright colours. It was a feast for the eyes! Ariana's voice belted across the rink as the skaters danced their numbers to the movie soundtracks and it was simply spectacular. I was grinning from ear to ear for the entire performance.

They mixed in pop music such as Kylie and Katy Perry and lots and lots of Christmas songs as the skaters wore festive red costumes with white faux fur trim, enjoying Christmas in the Emerald City. I think my favourite aspects of the show were the scenes recreated from the movies - We're Off To See The Wizard, What Is This Feeling, Popular, Dancing Through Life, Changed For Good, Girl In The Bubble and of course, Defying Gravity.  I also liked the cheeky chair dance the Shiz schoolgirls did to the classic Pussycat Dolls song, Buttons, at their first sight of Prince Fiyero - that made me giggle because we've all been bowled over by a mad crush at a young age! It was a fun and flirty dance, aimed at getting Fiyero's attention. 

It was a lovely show, with some very graceful performances. Many of the skaters are medal winners and champions, so you get to enjoy top class figure skating for a fraction of the usual ticket price. It would cost twice as much to see Disney on Ice, and probably even more for professional figure skating championship tickets, so a trip to the local ice rink is great value for money. And they work so hard on these shows all year long, adapting popular fairytales, movies and books into viable ice dance shows, creating choreography, rehearsing, making costumes and scenery etc, it would be such a shame to miss it. 

I'm certainly very glad I went to see the show today. It was beautiful and full of fairytale magic. It was the perfect start to the festive season. Most ice rinks have some kind of event on over the Christmas period, so see what your own local rink has to offer this month. Who knows, you might even be inspired to take up ice skating as a new hobby in 2026. 

I'm certainly considering dusting off my own pretty figure skates and legwarmers! But that will be later on next year, as I have new books to write first of all.  In the meantime, I'm going to make a hot chocolate and watch one of my skating films - I think an Ice Princess and Ice Castles double bill might be on the cards tonight. 

Happy skating!

Marie x