MUSICAL DOLL; When You Taught Me How To Dance

 "Other lights may light my way, I may even find romance,

But I won't forget that night, when you taught me how to dance"...

Reminds me of dancing with my soldier, under a full moon, by the sea in Oban. 

We both had misty eyes.

BOOK NOOK; Classic Cautionary Tales

If you are a fan of classic literature you will probably be aware that there is usually a moral lesson hidden within these novels.  The most common of these lessons is that of  inappropriate love and the fallen woman.  Please note, there is no such thing as a fallen man.  No, these tales are all about what happens to a woman when she dares to follow her own desires. The men, as always, get off Scot free. 

I have been reading the classics since my early teens and I have always been ruled by my head, rather than by my heart. I can talk myself out of a romantic interlude in seconds with a quickly calculated risk assessment and the question "What is this going to cost me in the long term?"  Recently I have been wondering how much of this self-discipline is a direct result of the reading I engaged in at such an impressionable age.  Have I been conditioned by Victorian standards of female behaviour?  Possibly.  

But the simple fact is, that society hasn't really changed that much since then.  Even today, should two people fall equally, but inappropriately in love(say one is married, or the boss, or a public figure etc) it is usually the woman who pays the price for that liaison; it is her life that is ruined, her character that is assassinated, she who is cancelled - while her equally-to-blame male counterpart is rewarded with greater prestige, promotions, accolades etc.  In short, her life is left in tatters she has to rebuild, while his life continues on an upwards trajectory, just as it was before he knew her.  

In Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, Anna falls madly in love with Count Vronsky, despite the fact that she is already a married woman.   She is a lady of high society, with a husband of great authority and influence.  She has position, respect, wealth and security.  Yet she risks it all for Vronsky, and once dazzled by his military uniform, she follows her heart into a passionate affair with him.  Of course her husband finds out and divorces her, but even then Anna remains hopeful that all will be well and she embarks on a new life with Vronsky.  But all is not well, for Vronsky is a Count who must marry and produce an heir, yet he cannot marry Anna as her divorce stipulates that she cannot remarry at all.  

This is the beginning of Anna's punishment, for a gentle-woman without a husband has no means of support.  She is cast out of all good society, while Vronsky continues to attend balls, to dance and flirt with other woman, while leaving Anna behind.  She realizes that he will marry someone else one day and falls into a deep despair.   She has lost everything for him - her wealth, security, position, respect, friends and social standing, yet her options are limited.  She cannot earn her own living, as the only respectable job back then was that of governess, and what mother would hire such a woman to teach her young daughters?  She doesn't want to play second fiddle to Vronsky's future wife, as that would make her Vronsky's glorified lorette.  Her final option is outright prostitution, becoming every man's whore, rather than just one man's whore and Vronsky's bit on the side.  In such a situation, throwing herself under a train probably seemed like the most sensible thing to do!  

Anna Karenina is a cautionary tale of what happens to a woman when she is led by her heart and breaks all the rules - she will lose everything, fall into madness, poverty and despair, and eventually commit suicide.  Meanwhile, Vronsky (an equal participant in the affair, remember) , will work his way up through the military ranks, marry a virgin bride and secure the inheritance of his estate and title.  Both parties had the same affair, but the woman is punished, while the man is promoted. 

Now let's look at a character who is ruled by her head.  In Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre, Jane falls just as madly in love with Mr. Rochester as Anna did with Vronsky, and at first all seems well for the couple as they make their way to the church to get married.  Then it transpires that Rochester has a wife already, a mad woman locked away in the attic, and that he was attempting to marry Jane bigamously.  He begs for her understanding and pleads with her to run away with him, promising a new life on the Continent.  

Distraught and betrayed, Jane refuses and leaves him.  She has no money, little food, nowhere to go and no plans, but she uses her head and takes herself out of temptation's way.  She will not become his mistress.  Eventually, she makes new friends and a new life for herself, and while she is still heartbroken, she finds contentment in what she has.  She refuses a proposal of marriage from St John, which would give her lasting security, because she isn't in love with him and has no calling to be a missionary's wife.  She holds true to her own conscience, allowing her head and common sense to lead the way, trusting that one day her heart will forgive her and will begin to heal.

And for being steadfast to the right path, Jane is rewarded with an unexpected windfall that makes her a wealthy woman, and with a spiritual awareness that Mr. Rochester is in need.  She goes to him and finds that his wife has died in a fire, and that Rochester himself was injured and blinded as he tried to rescue her.  However, this doesn't really make him a fallen man, because he still gets what he wants - Jane.  Ultimately Jane is rewarded with her happy ending and she becomes Mr Rochester's second wife.   It is no accident that Jane only received her heart's desire after she had resisted temptation to do the wrong thing, proving that she has a strong moral compass.  One wonders how much of this is based on Charlotte Bronte's own experience of falling in love with a married man?  Did she write Jane the ending she wished she could have had? Maybe. 

It is also no accident that Jane Eyre was the first grown-up classic I read, at the age of 13, and now I too, am ruled entirely by my head.  While I don't ordinarily like moral characters (Tiny Tim gets on my nerves, and even Beth March annoys me sometimes as she walks willingly towards death with a smile on her face! As if.  Even in real life, virtue-signalers irritate me - don't get me started on Captain Tom - the zimmer-frame that launched a thousand virtue-signalers! Eyes roll) I like Jane because she demonstrates how hard it can be to do the right thing.  She doesn't go through life with a smile on her face no matter what, as many moral characters do.  She has a temper and her temper becomes a virtue when it saves her from being deceived and used by Rochester.  She is a feisty moral character, rather than an insipid one,  and that's why I like her.

So what can such cautionary tales teach us?  Well, the heart will always do its own thing. You can't stop it.  It will love wherever, and whomever, it chooses, but you don't have to follow it everywhere it goes!  These days it is even more difficult to escape from an error of judgment in your past, with social media throwing up your ex whenever you log on.   If your inappropriate liaison was also a public figure, he might surprise you from your own TV every now and then, jolting the pieces of your broken heart so hard, they begin to bleed all over again.  

It can be difficult to move on when your old flame is all over Instagram etc, grinning from ear to ear over some new achievement of his, some big promotion or whatever.   Seeing him playing happy families, when he told you the opposite was true, can be extremely painful.  Watching him acting like a great guy, when he treated you unfairly and you know he's not all that he pretends to be on social media, can be irritating.  

It can be especially hard to watch him succeed if your life was damaged by your association with him. For instance, if you lost your job and income, but he kept his; or if you had to move companies and start from scratch elsewhere, while he gets promoted at your old company; if he uses things you told him in confidence to steal your thunder, achieving your goals before you do; or if you sent him an olive branch and he chose to ignore it - this can all add a truck-load of salt to the wound. It can feel as if you are doing your best to climb back up the cliff to the position you were in before you met him, and meanwhile he is kicking rocks in your face, just to hinder your progress.  

It's not fair that women get punished, while men get promoted, but it happens.  You were both there, having the same conversations, the same interactions, but you are left to rebuild a life he left in ruins, while he goes on to win the day. Well, good for him.  He might have broken your heart, but he can only break your spirit if you let him.   Don't go down the Anna Karenina path, because the truth is, he's just not worth it.  If he deceived you, betrayed your trust, take the higher path of Jane Eyre and rebuild your life, without him in it.  If it's meant to be, you will find each other again, but if it's not, at least you will have a new life to enjoy - and who knows what that will lead to, or who you will meet. 

And if you're tempted towards an inappropriate relationship, remember it's always the woman who pays the price, while the men get off Scot free. Women are punished, while men are promoted.  It sucks, but it's the world we have to navigate.  But if he turns up on Instagram, sunning himself on an island like a Greek God, do feel free to wish him a bad case of sunburn on his arse-end!  He deserves no less. 

BB Marie x

MUSICAL DOLL; You're Not Sorry

You used to shine so bright but I watched all of it fade...

Now I don't pick up the phone

POET'S CORNER; Did Not by Thomas Moore

Did Not

'Twas a new feeling - something more

Than we had dared to own before,

Which then we hid not;

We saw it in each other's eye,

And wished, in every half-breathed sigh,

To speak, but did not.

She felt my lips' impassioned touch - 

'Twas the first time I dared so much,

And yet she chid not;

But whispered o'er my burning brow,

"Oh, do you doubt I love you now?"

Sweet soul! I did not.

Warmly I felt her bosom thrill,

I pressed it closer, closer still,

Though gently bid not;

Till - oh! the world hath seldom heard

Of lovers, who so nearly erred,

And yet, who did not.

Thomas Moore

WRITER'S DREAM; Writing Blockbusters

 

Writing is not an easy job.  Publishing your work can be difficult, unless you are happy to take the short-cut of self-publishing, which I never have been, as to me it feels too much like cheating and lacks the validation of one's work that traditional publishing brings with it.  When your work has been accepted and paid for by a publishing house, you know it is of a very high standard and something to be proud of.  

There is no more enjoyable way for me to spend a day than by writing, especially when publication is guaranteed due to the work having already been commissioned and paid for by a publisher.  That said, it still isn't easy and there will be times when the words are not flowing and you hit a bit of a block.  All writer's experience this from time to time.  It's just a part of the job, but there are ways to trick your mind into feeling inspired to write again.  For me, watching films about other authors is one of the quickest ways to get a shot of inspiration, leading me straight back to my own pages with a fresh burst of enthusiasm.  

Here are some of my favourite writing films that I watch to put me back into a writerly state of mind.   They clearly demonstrate that a writer's life isn't perfect, that there is no such thing as the perfect environment or circumstances in which to write a book.  They show that the great writers put their words on the page, no matter what - that is what makes them great writers.  While so many people make excuses as to why they don't have the time or circumstances in which to write, the often troubled lives of the great writers prove that to be completely untrue.  In short if you want to be a writer, you will find the time to write, regardless of what else is going on in your life, as shown by these biopics.

Mary Shelly (2018); As you would expect and can see from the trailer above, this film is suitably dark and gothic, recounting Mary's tumultuous romance with the poet Shelly, and the fantastic gothic novel that came out of it.  I watched this one last night and it is one of my favorite writerly films. 

Tolkien (2019); This film has all the best of dark academia and writerly inspiration, as it follows Tolkien from childhood, through his university years and married life, when he began to write a fairytale for his children - The Hobbit.  Here you can see how the dark days of war and his love of languages, were infused into his works of epic fantasy. 

Becoming Jane (2007);  The writing life of one of England's finest writers, Jane Austen. This film is like one of Jane's own novels, recounting her doomed love affair and her struggle to be taken seriously as a writer and novelist.  Jane published all her works anonymously and never saw her own name on any of her books - that was added later, after her death.  To me that is one of the saddest aspects of Jane's story, that she never had the thrill of seeing her name on the cover of her books.  But she kept on writing, and I for one, am so happy that she did!

Miss Potter (2006); This is a charming biopic of author and illustrator Beatrix Potter.  Don't let the animated scenes put you off - they are designed to demonstrate how real Potter's world was to her and how much she lived from her own imagination.  Again there is the doomed love affair, the lack of recognition from her own mother, followed by literary success, wealth and eventually romance.  This is a lovely film and so inspiring to watch. 

Enid (2009);  Enid recounts the life of my absolute favourite author from childhood, Enid Blyton.  Her life was not without scandal and it could be said that she was much fonder of her characters than she was of her own children, but this film will make you chuckle as she struggles with the demands of a baby, much preferring the company of her dog!  I have to say that I prefer animals to children too, so this film is right up my street.  Whatever her mistakes in her family life, Enid sold over 500 million books, so she was doing something right!  This film illustrates that writers are forced to make sacrifices for their art, and sometimes its the family who suffers for that success.  I love the scenes when Enid is banging away at her typewriter, which is balanced precariously on her knee.

Magic Beyond Words (2011); The well- worn, oft-told tale of J K Rowling. Like Miss Potter, this film incorporates scenes of fantasy where her characters come to life.  An interesting biopic, but somewhat romanticized. 

Collette (2017); This biopic tells the story of Collette, one of France's most famous authors.  It has a feminist angle, showing how difficult it was for a female author to claim the credit for her own work - a theme also covered in Mary Shelley.  This film will make you laugh out loud at the bawdiness of it, but it will also push you to the desk to write, which is the main thing. 

Their Finest (2016); Set against the backdrop of the London Blitz, this is the story of Catrin, who is hired to write 'the fluff' - better know nowadays as 'women's interest'. It has some helpful advice on editing one's own work; "Get rid if half of it"  "Which half?"  "The half you don't need!"  A lovely romantic film about a woman's struggle to be taken seriously as a writer.

The Guernsey Literary &Potato Peel Pie Society (2018);  This film, and the novel that inspired it, is based on the true story of an underground reading club, hiding away from Nazi occupation of the island.  Juliet is a young journalist who goes to find out more and discovers mystery and romance as she writes her book.  Lovely costumes and a spirit of adventure run throughout this film, amid a sea-swept island backdrop.  

So there you have it -  nine writerly films to help inspire you when you're feeling a touch of writer's block.  I have always used films such as these, along with Little Women and Anne of Green Gables The Sequel, to put me in the mood to write when I'm feeling lazy.  Inspiration doesn't come down from the heavens to touch you on the head - you have to go looking for it.  It is an active collaboration.  I'm sure that any one of these films will have you running off to find a quiet, cosy nook where you can write your latest masterpiece! Enjoy.