MUSICAL DOLL; I Put A Spell On You

" 'Cause of all the witches working, I'm the worst! I put a spell on you, and now you're mine!"

And Taylor Swift, witchy style...Look what you made me brew!

Enjoy x

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Warrior Princess

I'm currently reading The Arrow by Monica McCarty and it is reminding me so much of my soldier.  Basically, it is about a young woman who is being taught lessons in self-defence from one of the Highland Guard, Gregor MacGregor, who even says the same things my soldier said to me when he gave me similar training - you're not fighting to win, you're fighting to get away and escape. 

It seems to me wrong headed that young girls are not taught to defend themselves as a matter of course, as they are far more likely to be targets of violent crime in later years.  Young lads are brought up to take care of themselves and regardless of their back ground, they are taught how to fight.  Working class lads learn how fight outside nightclubs in city centres, while more privileged lads might be taught how to box and fence and sword fight, as a part of their private education.   

So all men are taught to fight from young age.  They are taught to defend themselves. Some are even taught to defend women... and then there is the odd one, like my soldier,  who will teach a woman how to defend herself, sharing his knowledge to make her stronger.

These are the men you need to look out for, as they are few and far between and they are the ones who are actually worth knowing!  They are worth their weight in gold, as most men prefer to maintain their advantage over women.  If you are ever lucky enough to meet such a man, then listen to him carefully, because his teachings will be a part of your life forever, even if he isn't.

I have met two such men in my life so far.  The first was a martial arts instructor who used to come into the village pub where I worked behind the bar. He didn't like the fact that I walked home alone at night, so he decided to do something about it.  He taught me how to get a man in an arm lock, when he tries to grab me from behind.  At the time, I didn't think I'd ever have cause to use such a skill, but I have done.  It was in a nightclub when some drunken idiot reached over me to try and cop a feel - he didn't even get close!  I had his arm locked across my shoulder in an instant and he left me alone after that.  But in that moment, I felt strong and powerful, and proud that I could look after myself, no bouncer required! 

Then I met the soldier from the Black Watch.  He taught me more than he is even aware of; not only the self-defence training he gave me in the Blackmuir Woods in Strathpeffer, but also a certain quiet confidence and how to pick my battles.  He was always calm and steady.  Knowing that he could more than handle whatever was thrown at him, meant that he had no need of bravado.  He wasn't loud and obnoxious like a lot of men are.  He was quiet, controlled and confident.  At six foot four, he emanated strength and power - but he didn't throw his weight around.  He didn't need to.  People automatically deferred to him and to the aura of authority military men carry with them wherever they go. I always felt safe whenever he was around. 

I enjoyed learning from him, and both he and his father told me that I was a natural soldier and they'd be glad to have me on their team. I think part of it is my Bruce upbringing. My brother and I were always taught to stand up for ourselves and our father and uncles taught us both how to land a decent punch.   Adding in the training that my soldier, a US GI and the martial arts instructor gave me, all means that I can walk through the city centre, alone, in the dark and not feel afraid.   I can intervene and help if someone is in trouble.  

Because I'm small and quiet and a bookworm, people think that I'm a pushover.  That's always a mistake.  But it's a mistake which works in my favour, because it gives me the element of surprise. As society becomes increasingly aggressive, I feel very grateful for all the things my soldier has taught me.  Sometimes I've even had cause to use it and each time I do, I feel a new wave of affection for him and the time we spent together.   

There are a couple of things I've yet to put into practice. For instance, an American GI, who I call GI Blue Eyes, told me how to go about giving someone a 'shiner' or a black eye, but thankfully, I've not yet had cause to test that skill!  Still, it's another technique I have in my mind - my own mental armoury of self-defence tricks, so should the need arise, I will be prepared for it. 

When the student is ready, the tutor will appear - so I have no doubt at all, that at some stage I will meet someone else who can further my self-defence training and make me even more of a warrior princess. I don't know who he is yet, but I know I will recognise him when I see him, because men like this are something special. I just wish that there were more of them, because every girl should have one!

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Post-Grad University Meetings

It's 8pm and I have just got home from an evening of meetings at university.   Although I'm taking the current academic year off,  the buzz from passing my diploma and qualifying as a counsellor, has already worn off and I feel the need to set a new goal and achieve something new. With that in mind, I hope to return to the next level of study next autumn. So tonight I have been along to the university to find out more about the course I want to do.

I am very lucky to live on the edge of a duel university city and tonight I got a taste of what those universities have to offer. I've been sat in the loveliest lecture halls, listening intently to course information and wandering around the city campus, just trying to take it all in. It's a big place and seems to be very well equipped, and while its not grand like Oxford or Cambridge, it will serve my purposes more than adequately. 

First I had a meeting with the admissions team to find out what I need to include in my portfolio and how much of my previous work they need to see.  Also I wanted to know more about the Personal Statement aspect of the application process and what to include in that.  So that was the first meeting and it has been helpful.

But the second meeting was the best one and the one that I was most looking forward to!  This meeting was with the lecturer who runs the course that I want to do.  Its a higher level than I have ever studied before, so it will be a bit of a step up, but after listening to all that she had to say about how the course is run and assessed, I feel more confident in my ability to progress through the next level. It will be an interesting aspect of my professional development. 

She talked of where we might progress after the course, the networking opportunities that they have available and so on, as well as what the work load will be.  There are more essays, as you would expect, and a new portfolio of work to create and build, but that hasn't put me off.  It is a subject that I am passionate about and I want to learn more.  I want to progress in this field as far as I can possibly go.  

From the break-down of the workload I was given, it doesn't look too bad.  I did a quick calculation of the overall word count of all the essays combined, and for someone who is used to writing a book in four to six months, meeting this word count over the space of two years is going to be fairly easy.  It should be quite enjoyable.   

It was also an opportunity to meet other potential students, coming in from different colleges and night schools, with different skills to offer, but all with a common interest and goal in mind.  Hopefully, we will all have the chance to get to know one another a bit better, if we are all offered a place.

The third meeting was about the community of the university, what support they have available, what social events there are, and so on. It seems like a really warm, welcoming university.  It wasn't stuffy at all - just very friendly and helpful.   I was even given a goody-bag, emblazoned with the name of the university across it and filled with a couple of booklets, the latest student magazine etc, plus additional information leaflets. 

All in all it has been a really informative and enjoyable evening.  I'm glad I went and the meetings have proven to be really useful to me, in terms of the application process.  Now all I need to do is put together my new student portfolio and apply for the course!  Its a popular university, so there are no guarantees that I will be offered a place, but I'm going to apply anyway and see what happens. This then,  is my next goal and I am going to aim for it with all the determination I can muster.  And if I don't get a place, I haven't lost anything in the trying, so I might as well go for it. 

It's going to be a busy time for me, with my writing, the practice work I have undertaken and now putting together a student portfolio application and personal statement, but it just feels like the next logical step. It is something I feel I need to do and I want to do as much with my life as possible and achieve as much as I can. So I have to give it my best shot.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained and I really hope to gain a place on this course! So mote it be! 

MUSICAL DOLL; Consequences

Haunted by the ghost of your own past happiness...

And how gorgeous is her pink coat??

Enjoy!

xxx

ONCE UPON A DREAM; When One Door Closes...

"When one door closes, another one opens" or so the saying goes. I have experienced the truth of this several times in my life.  The problem is that the new door rarely opens as soon as the old door has closed - there is usually a time of waiting to endure in between.  During this time, it can be difficult to keep the faith that a new door will open for you at some point and you might find yourself becoming disheartened.  

I have mentioned before that in recent years it has felt as if my own life was under-going some kind of magical transformation.  Such transformations are very hard to live through!  For me, it meant feeling as if everything I cared for was being stripped away from me, through no fault of my own.  This happened systematically, over the period of about seven years.  

Recently however, I have begun to experience new doors opening for me and new opportunities coming my way.  To embrace this change, I spent time this week packing away all my old counselling course work and text books.  It began as a bit of a tidy up and ended with the cathartic experience of having boxed it all up and put a lid on it.  I don't need that stuff anymore and as I packed it all away, I felt a huge sense of relief that that part of my life as a counselling student is over.  Now that I am qualified it is time to move on to a new chapter.

This harvest season has brought some exciting new opportunities my way already, beginning with my new monthly psychotherapy  column. That was the first new door that opened up to me and one that I am very excited about. I am looking forward to seeing where this leads me, in terms of my writing and building a new audience. 

In addition, I will now be getting paid to use all my counselling skills in a clinical practice setting! No more volunteering and doing the job for free - now I will be paid to work a few hours a week.  Again, this is a new door that has swung wide open for me and welcomed me in.  I enjoyed the interview process and I am really looking forward to being a part of a new professional team, plus I will have lots of time for my writing, which is still my main job, so I will have the best of both worlds.  I was offered the role a couple of weeks ago, following my interview and I take up the post next week. I'm really looking forward to working in a clinical practice, helping the general public again. 

Plus I have been in touch with the principle of a ballet studio and I will be starting ballet classes very soon!  I have all my ballet slippers prepped and ready to go.  I can't describe how much I am looking forward to this.  It has been one of my goals for some years, but I couldn't do it before, as the ballet class runs at the same time as my counselling classes were held. Now that I'm no longer in night classes, I am free to take up the ballet class instead, which in turn will help with my ice-skating and make me a stronger skater. That's the plan anyway! 

So I am in a really good place right now and I couldn't be happier with how my life is going.  Doors are now opening for me left, right and centre! Everything is falling into place. All the hard work and effort of the last few years is paying off, and I now have a new column, a new publisher, a new profession, a new hobby and a new sense of getting everything I want! My new bliss cycle has begun and as Ariana says, "the light is coming, to give back everything the darkness stole"...

xxx

BOOK NOOK; The Hunter by Monica McCarty

"Tears rolled down her cheeks. Damn him for doing this to her! Until he burst into her life like a siege engine, she'd been happy on her own. Content with the life she had planned.

She wiped the tears away with an angry jerk, determined to be so again. Her work was the only thing that mattered now. It was the only thing she had left.

She was better off alone. Hadn't she always known that?"

from The Hunter

I have just finished reading the seventh novel in the Highland  Guard series, which follows the fortunes of the Hunter, Ewen Lamont.  As part of King Robert the Bruce's special army, Hunter's role is to track, trace and hunt down the enemy, and to help rescue allies.  A chieftain of a decimated clan, Hunter hopes to use his skills to prove himself to the Bruce and in doing so, win back vital clan lands.  All is going well, until the Bruce sends him on a mission to bring back one of his most successful spies.

Janet of Mar is thought to be dead.  Very few know that she is actually working incognito for the king, carrying messages back and forth across the border.  Working in both England and Scotland means that Janet has become a mistress of disguise and lies. She changes her persona at the drop of the last hat she wore, moving on to a new village with a new name and a new story, gathering intelligence as she goes.  Her main disguise is as a nun and she has played this role so well, that she has almost convinced herself to take her vows for real as soon as her work for the Bruce is done.   

But then along comes Ewen Lamont, ordered to fetch her back to the court of King Robert, where she is to be betrothed.  Ewen has very traditional ideas about what a woman's place should be - married, with children and a home, to keep her occupied. So when he meets Janet, who has no intention of marrying, and who would rather live a life of danger as a spy for the King of Scots, he doesn't dare to tell her that he has been sent to carry her off to her future husband. Nor does he expect to betray his king by falling in love with his slippery charge, who runs off on her own every chance she gets, leaving him to track her repeatedly.  And as the two get to know one another, the very last thing he expects is that her feminine wiles will work their charm on him, leaving the Hunter to feel more like the hunted!

As Janet falls more deeply in love with this brave man who swept into her life out of nowhere and turned her inside out, she wants nothing more than his admiration and respect - not for her beauty and her body, but for the important work she carries out for the king. She wants the man she loves to acknowledge that although she has no military training, she still has courage and an indomitable fighting spirit in her, and that she is just as entitled as he is to fight for Scotland, but in her own way. Alas for Janet, Ewen has made up his mind that her job is too dangerous for a woman and he makes no secret of his opinion, all the while battling against his own feelings for her, in his determination to complete his mission and present her to the king as fodder for a political marriage. 

For all his military training, the Hunter is a fool, who cannot see that his ceaseless dedication to his long, drawn out call of duty, is pushing away the woman he loves, and that somewhere far beyond his notice, she is quietly slipping away from him for good.