I've always been very good at being on my own. Even as a young girl, I much preferred to be alone in my room reading books or horse-riding through the woods by myself, rather than going around in a group of gossiping girls. I hate big crowds of people; being in a large crowd makes me feel dizzy with all the energies swirling around me. I like quiet, intimate settings; cosy corners in little pubs, a small gathering of just a few friends, holidays and adventures for one - or sometimes two. Mostly though I enjoy that feeling when the day stretches out before me and I have nothing pressing to do, nowhere to go and no-one to see. These are my bliss days, when I recharge my batteries and take time to myself.
On days like this I turn off my phones, refuse to answer the door and stay away from social media. I cut myself off for a time and it honestly makes me feel so much better. I need this space and time to myself to function properly. Personally, I think that if you cannot be in a room alone with only yourself for company, for a couple of days, then there is something wrong with you. What's more, if you cannot enjoy your own company, why would you expect anyone else to enjoy it?
It is also interesting that most empaths do need a lot of time to themselves, to replenish their energy reserves. Those individuals who find that solitude leaves them feeling tired are probably energy vampires who need to feed off other people's energy to feel good. Solitude deprives them of this supply, while it gives the empaths time to focus on themselves for a change. Do you feed people or do you drain them? Are you the supply, or the demand?
Solitude nurtures my sense of serenity and I have some of my best writing ideas during my quieter days. Spending time alone will allow you to notice how much drama is going on in your life. It gives you the space to work out if that drama is self-created, or if it is being brought into your life by others. If it comes from you, you can use this time to make a plan to change your behaviour; if it comes from others you can take steps to limit your contact with those people.
If someone is in the habit of phoning you, just to cause you upset, to engage you in an altercation or to complain at you for an hour or so, you have every right to hang up - after all, it's your phone and you can do what you want with it. No-one has the right to dial your number just to attack you or coerce you. I've hung up on so many people over the years, because they were creating drama in my life and I wasn't prepared to put up with it. Once you've hung up on someone a few times, they'll just stop calling, moving on to a new audience. Problem solved. The same goes for social media. Unfollow them, block them; use the tools provided to protect you, and completely disengage yourself from their narrative. Not your circus, not your monkeys. Log out, switch off, breath and relax...back to serenity.
Serenity is the state of being tranquil, calm and peaceful. The biggest block to serenity is stress; stress is usually caused by drama of some kind, so if you want to experience serenity, you need to limit or eliminate drama. I have no time for drama queens, because however much you try to help them, they will be in the middle of a new drama by the weekend! Instead, I prioritise my own state of serenity and for me that means a good few days of total solitude, because I have found that the best way to a quiet peaceful life is when there is no-one else it in!
My bliss days involve lots of reading, stretched out on the chaise in the sunshine or curled by the fire in winter; wallowing in hot baths; scented candles; beauty therapy; DVD box-set marathons; lots of journaling; stitching tapestry; writing poetry and fairytales; practising my piano; guided meditation and nature sounds CDs; art therapy; singing; sitting on the garden bench listening to the birds singing; going for a drive; ice cream and chocolate. This type of relaxed, no-pressure solitude is essential for my well-being. It preserves my serenity and my sanity. I sleep better too, because my head isn't replaying a thousand problems thrown at me during the day.
It's just me, doing my own thing, being the quiet, dreamy girl I have always been, drifting through the day in my whimsical hideaway, until serenity is achieved once more and I have found my bliss. Blessed be.
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