MUSICAL DOLL; Queens Don't Hate

"Every jewel on my crown you better believe I earned it

Won't keep people around that don't believe I deserve it...
A Queen's gonna rule just the way she was made
I ain't about to let nobody come and take me off this throne..."

Living well is the best revenge

xxx

WRITER'S DREAM; My New Psychotherapy Column!

I am delighted to announce that I am now hosting my first regular psychotherapy column, and joining a new editorial team!  Launching a psychotherapy column was one of my goals for this year, and it has come about after five years of counsellor training, and the successful publication of several counselling based features, in various magazines. 

It is almost two years since I left behind my witchcraft column with Spirit&Destiny magazine, which you can read about here.   At the time, I knew that I wanted to do more self-help writing, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to build a whole new reputation with publishers, in this new genre.  It was a stressful time, when I couldn't really see my way ahead - which is unusual for me as I generally know exactly where I'm heading! I just had to keep going and trust that it would all work out for me, and it has. Blind faith works!  

Now I will be writing a new psychotherapy column and providing editorial content each month, launching this summer!  This is a fantastic opportunity, and a firm foot in the door of a different genre.  It is exactly what I hoped for, as I get to write columns on all sorts of issues, both mental and emotional, and offer solutions to my readers, by way of the real techniques of the therapy room.  I see the column as bringing my therapy room practice onto the published page, where my readers can access this knowledge whenever they want to, without them having to pay the hefty price tag of private practice, or wait over six months for the inevitable fob-off of the farcical IAPS system.  Because seriously, who needs that?!

This column brings together everything that I have worked towards for years - all my 20 years of publishing experience, plus my 5 years training and experience in therapeutic practice.  It is the amalgamation I dreamed of bringing into being, right from the start of my training and my very first night class.  This was always my target. 

It is also the beginning of a strong publishing platform in this new area of expertise.  As a writer, this is how you get your name known for a specific topic and build up your brand, by having regular work published with a recognised publisher.  Although I have contributed to this editorial in the past, it was always with Wiccan based features, as that was what I was known for at the time.  So it's fantastic that they want to bring me on board as their resident qualified counsellor, writing a psychotherapy column each month.  I couldn't be more thrilled by it. 

My editors there seem very enthusiastic about my work and ideas, and I know it will be great fun to work with people who are so dialled in to the mental health movement and want to get involved.  Writers need editors who are willing to support their ideas and concepts, even if it is something outside their usual range - we need editors who are prepared to allow us to grow and expand as artists. 


For me, I see this new column as the beginning of a new branch of my writing career.  It is the fresh start I needed in my writing life; a blank slate that I am free to fill as I choose, exploring issues and values and general well-being, helping my readers to help themselves, as I have always done.  I'm really excited to throw myself into it and already my head is brimming with column ideas! 

I feel like my wings are finally un-clipped from the standard witchcraft work I was expected to produce - now I am free to let my words fly in a new direction, with my new counselling profession as a baseline and framework.  I'll post again when I have a date for the actual launch of my column, and I hope that you will check it out and continue to support my work. 

I  do feel incredibly fortunate and so grateful.  Hosting a Wiccan column with S&D for so many years was amazing - now I have been offered a second psychotherapy column with a completely different publisher and I feel so lucky to have achieved this break-through into regular psychotherapy writing. I worked hard for it and it certainly didn't come overnight! I know that my regular readers who have followed my work for years will be just as thrilled as I am by this news.  As for any enemies I might have who may read this - well, they're just going to have to suck it up. Living well is the best revenge. 

In addition, I had a meeting at college yesterday and I now know that I am on track to graduate fully as a counsellor and I will be graduating in cap and gown at the formal graduation ceremony this autumn!  So my Wheel of Fortune seems to be on the rise once more and even though I am quite used to getting what I want, sometimes the generosity of the universe still takes me by surprise. A new era beckons as I begin to write a new kind of column, from a new professional stand-point.  It's a new dream come true! 

𝅘𝅥𝅯🎜She always gets what she wants, in the end...🎜

xxx

MUSICAL DOLL; Babe

Ever since watching Nine Live of Christmas last December I am obsessed with Brandon Routh. 

He's super hot and I can't stop watching him in this music video...

That Superman tilt of the hat...those dimples...he's so my type.

Be still my beating💓!

Enjoy! xxx

MUSICAL DOLL; Argentina

I kept my promise, don't keep your distance...

xxx

MUSICAL DOLL; Carry You

Is anybody out there?

I've been here the whole time, singing you a song

I will carry you...

xxx

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Summer Studies

Let us now be up and doing

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing

Learn to labour and to wait.

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Back in December 2017 as I was making my goal list for this year I decided that I wanted to do a course in Life-Coaching.  It made sense to me, because this is something I already do in my writing, but I had nothing to prove I could do it, save for ten published books.   So earlier this year I signed up for a course which I have now completed and passed this week. This means that I now have a CPD certificate in Life-Coaching & Mentoring on the way.   It was an interesting course and I am glad that I did it.  I'm sure it will come in handy with my counselling, because the two strategies are  complimentary and go hand in hand.  I already know that life-coaching is a useful aspect of being a writer, as it has played a role in all my books, features and columns up to now and I don't see that changing. 

So that was one of my goals achieved and ticked off my list, but as always, it led on to me setting a new goal - and that was to do a course in Administration, alongside the Life-Coaching.  I thought this would be good to have, to sit in tandem with the Business Etiquette course I passed last year, and also it is useful for me, being self-employed, as I do all my own admin.  So in addition to the new Life-Coaching & Mentoring qualification, I also have a CPD certificate in Business Administration on the way too, as I passed that last week!  

So now I think I'm going to take a couple of months off from studying.  I have all the qualifications in place that I wanted, for the time being anyway, and they all compliment and support each other.  I do think it is important to have something to prove that you can do a task.  Because I'm my own boss I am responsible for my own training and it is something that I enjoy, as I like to learn new skills and feel that I am growing and developing as a person.

I really don't understand people who refuse extra training opportunities, especially if it is the boss or the company you work for who is paying for it.  If you have no qualifications beyond school exams and your employer offers to put you through an NVQ in say Administration, only a fool would refuse and turn their nose up at such an opportunity!   Yes it means doing a couple of extra hours each week for a few months, but unless you are considering leaving the company, I'd say do it!  Because you are there anyway, so you might as well get something beyond a pay cheque out of them - something you can take away with you and which will add to your overall prospects of future employment in an uncertain world. 

There is no point waiting until they start to cut back on staff and then whinging that you have nothing to prove you can do the job, especially if you refused the training  they offered.  The boss will just refer back to your refusal.  And you will look like a complete numpty!  Far better to take on board any training they offer you and start to build up a portfolio of qualifications and certificates, because education is expensive - so if they offer, take it!

I'm really glad that I have spent the last five years in training.  It has given me a great sense of achievement, which in turn has boosted my overall confidence in my own capabilities.  I know now that I am academic, even though I don't enjoy all the hoop jumping tasks involved in academia - I'm still capable of succeeding academically without too much effort.  My counselling tutor even commented on the fact that I was just "coasting along and breezing through the diploma" - and I was!  But as the course wasn't graded, it was simply Pass or Fail, I didn't see the point in spending 12 hours on a task that I could do in 2 hours - that's just bad time-management.  Yet that's exactly what some students were doing and getting increasingly stressed out by it too.

So I would say, do continue to study and learn, but assess how much effort is really needed to pass a course and don't burn yourself out.   

In the last five years I've achieved 9 new academic qualifications and certificates.  I might need to do another course, just to round it up to 10 for my own satisfaction, but overall, I'm very happy with the progress I've made academically.  Now it is time to start thinking of how best to put it all into practice - I can feel a brain-storming session coming on!

BOOK NOOK; The Recruit by Monica McCarty

Let's just appreciate the gorgeousness of the cover treatment, shall we?😜

"You want this, Mary. I know you do. Just say yes."

She stared at him helplessly, paralysed by the sin of her desire, unable to say the words that would set aside a lifetime of morality.

It wasn't right. But was it really so wrong..?

...It would only be one time. One night of passion. One night of sin.  

Was that too much to ask for?

extract from The Recruit by Monica McCarty

I have just finished reading The Recruit, the sixth book in the Highland Guard series.   As tensions mount between the Scots and the English, Bruce's men are busier than ever, preparing for the war that they know must come.  Caught up in all of this is Mary of Mar, the widow of a Scots Lord executed by the English for his 'treachery' in fighting for his true king, Robert the Bruce.  Mary is taken as a political captive and held in a castle in the north of England, but when Edward II finds a use for her, she is sent north again, to the court of her former brother-in-law King Robert, to try and discover his plans.

As a widow Mary finds that she has more freedom and independence than she ever had as a wife or a maid, and she is unwilling to give up this one silver lining in her troubled circumstances.  So when King Robert suggests she marry one of his men and remain in Scotland, she is less than enthusiastic.  She has no wish to lose the independent life she has carved out as a result of being left all alone to fend for herself.   

To maintain her widowhood, Mary hides in plain sight, draping her golden hair in dark veils and wearing dark, drab gowns, giving her the appearance of a nun.  She hides her beauty so as not to arouse male attentions, because she enjoys her freedom in England.  She lives a life of high moral values and keeps herself to herself, trying to do the right thing and negotiate a safe path between the feuding Scots and English.  

Then along comes Sir Kenneth Sutherland; tall, strong, gorgeous, brown haired and twinkly eyed, ready to challenge all her protestations that she is quite happy with her life of solitude. To make matters worse, he is also the man the Bruce would have her marry and so cock-sure of himself and her acceptance that he's infuriatingly arrogant.  

Sir Kenneth is bold and brave and sexy.  He is also reckless with a gift for getting into scraps and losing his awesome temper - he's even sexier when he's cross!   This character demonstrates the Bruce temper so accurately that I was convinced it would be revealed that he had Bruce blood running through his veins at some point in the story.  Alas, no, but his temper is a great heads up for anyone who wants to know what it means to be in the firing line of a Bruce temper tantrum!  

Sutherland's anger festers and constantly simmers just beneath the surface of his polite interactions in society.  He is always ready to do battle, with anyone, and he feels the need to press ahead to the next big challenge and prove himself, needing the rush of the next victory like an addict needs their next fix.  That's the Bruce temper, in a novel nutshell!  It is unpredictable, unforgiving and downright scary at times.  But it's also a useful tool to have on your side, and the Highland Guard need Sir Kenneth's skills much more than they distrust his ability to control his temper. 

As this book marks approximately the halfway point in the series, you can clearly see the author building the tension as war approaches.  This novel ends in 1310 - so Bannockburn is looming on the horizon, in 1314.  It's fascinating to see how she weaves her fictional Highland Guard into the actual historical timeline.  It must have taken hours of research and planning to execute and write such an ambitious series of books.   It's cleverly written with effective hooks that make it a real page turner. 

I enjoyed this novel in the series much better than book five, The Saint, which was about childhood sweethearts and is where Sutherland makes his first fiery appearance.  The Recruit is far more action-packed, with explosions and so on.  And I like Sir Kenneth's passionate, mercurial temperament - I can relate to it. He is an interesting character. Life with him would never be dull and a lass would never be bored by him.  But it does get him into trouble at times.  Some of the places I know well also appear in this novel, such as Ben Wyvis and Inverness, and again this makes me like it even more, because the sense of place is familiar ground to me.

This is quite a racy novel right from the beginning, so it's perfect to curl up with late at night, chocolate at the ready, for a cosy, romantic-night-in-for-one.  Tuck yourself in and let Sir Kenneth keep you company - he's so much fun! Enjoy! 💖💖  

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Serene Solitude

I've always been very good at being on my own. Even as a young girl, I much preferred to be alone in my room reading books or horse-riding through the woods by myself, rather than going around in a group of gossiping girls.  I hate big crowds of people; being in a large crowd makes me feel dizzy with all the energies swirling around me.  I like quiet, intimate settings; cosy corners in little pubs, a small gathering of just a few friends, holidays and adventures for one - or sometimes two.  Mostly though I enjoy that feeling when the day stretches out before me and I have nothing pressing to do, nowhere to go and no-one to see. These are my bliss days, when I recharge my batteries and take time to myself.

On days like this I turn off my phones, refuse to answer the door and stay away from social media.  I cut myself off for a time and it honestly makes me feel so much better.  I need this space and time to myself to function properly.  Personally, I think that if you cannot be in a room alone with only yourself for company, for a couple of days, then there is something wrong with you.  What's more, if you cannot enjoy your own company, why would you expect anyone else to enjoy it?  

It is also interesting that most empaths do need a lot of time to themselves, to replenish their energy reserves.  Those individuals who find that solitude leaves them feeling tired are probably  energy vampires who need to feed off other people's energy to feel good. Solitude deprives them of this supply, while it gives the empaths time to focus on themselves for a change.  Do you feed people or do you drain them? Are you the supply, or the demand? 

Solitude nurtures my sense of serenity and I have some of my best writing ideas during my quieter days.  Spending time alone will allow you to notice how much drama is going on in your life.  It gives you the space to work out if that drama is self-created, or if it is being brought into your life by others.  If it comes from you, you can use this time to make a plan to change your behaviour; if it comes from others you can take steps to limit your contact with those people.  

If someone is in the habit of phoning you, just to cause you upset, to engage you in an altercation or to complain at you for an hour or so, you have every right to hang up - after all, it's your phone and you can do what you want with it.  No-one has the right to dial your number just to attack you or coerce you.  I've hung up on so many people over the years, because they were creating drama in my life and I wasn't prepared to put up with it.  Once you've hung up on someone a few times, they'll just stop calling, moving on to a new audience. Problem solved.   The same goes for social media. Unfollow them, block them; use the tools provided to protect you, and completely disengage yourself from their narrative. Not your circus, not your monkeys.  Log out, switch off, breath and relax...back to serenity.

Serenity is the state of being tranquil, calm and peaceful.  The  biggest block to serenity is stress; stress is usually caused by drama of some kind, so if you want to experience serenity, you need to limit or eliminate drama.  I have no time for drama queens, because however much you try to help them, they will be in the middle of a new drama by the weekend!  Instead, I prioritise my own state of serenity and for me that means a good few days of total solitude, because I have found that the best way to a quiet peaceful life is when there is no-one else it in! 

My bliss days involve lots of reading, stretched out on the chaise in the sunshine or curled by the fire in winter; wallowing in hot baths; scented candles; beauty therapy; DVD box-set marathons; lots of journaling; stitching tapestry; writing poetry and fairytales; practising my piano; guided meditation and nature sounds CDs; art therapy; singing; sitting on the garden bench listening to the birds singing; going for a drive; ice cream and chocolate.  This type of relaxed, no-pressure solitude is essential for my well-being.  It preserves my serenity and my sanity.  I sleep better too, because my head isn't replaying a thousand problems thrown at me during the day.  

It's just me, doing my own thing, being the quiet, dreamy girl I have always been, drifting through the day in my whimsical hideaway, until serenity is achieved once more and I have found my bliss. Blessed be. 

WRITER'S DREAM; Why I'm NOT Self-Published

I am frequently asked if I am a self published author and the answer to that is No, because I have never needed to be.  The only self-publishing I have ever done is here on my blog. That's it. I have nothing against self-publishing and if that is what you want to do there are lots of books out there to help you make that journey. It's just not for me. 

I published all ten of my books to date, with traditional publishing houses.  This basically means that the publishers paid me, not the other way around!  It means that I am not a part of a 'publishing cooperative' or 'subsidised publishing' deal.  I have a traditional publishing contract for each of my books, all of which were professionally vetted by the Society of Authors, through my membership with them, before I agreed to sign them. 

Further more, I never wrote a book that wasn't guaranteed to be published in hard copy.  I wrote all my books to commission, under contract.  Again this means that even before I sat down to write the words Chapter One, the advance was in my bank account, the contract was signed and sealed, the deadline had been agreed on and I knew exactly what date my book was going to be published.  I have never started to write a book without this type of guaranteed publication in place.  

This is simply professional practice.  Why would I waste time writing thousands of words without guaranteed publication? That's just madness when you're writing non-fiction.  Most non-fiction books are commissioned by the publishers.  Sometimes even the idea is the publisher's, not the author's.  Editors will contact one of their writers and say "We want a book on so and so - do you want to write it for us?"  This happened to me four times, which means that four out of my ten books were actually my editor's initial idea!  You do need to have built up a good relationship with an editor before this happens though.  The point is that if you play the game right, publishing opportunities will just come to you.

I realise that this will make for uncomfortable reading for some, especially if you are a rejected hopeful.  It seems unfair that I should have had contracts seemingly thrown at me, when others can't get a foot in the door of the publishing industry.  But the back story to my 'good fortune' is that I spent years sending out work and being rejected.  I started to send out work in my late teens, but I wasn't offered a publishing contract for my first book until I was 25. That is years of rejection, and working my way up the pecking order by publishing small things such as poetry and articles.  

Because you do have to work your way up through the slush pile, just like in any other industry.  One thing guaranteed to ruffle feathers among authors and editors alike, is wannabe writers thinking that they are entitled to jump straight to the top of the ladder, feeling entitled to a book contract or a place as a columnist, when they really haven't earned the right to that position.  It's akin to the tea-boy expecting to be Managing Director in his first week - it's arrogant, ignorant, and it's just never going to happen! Unless that is, he works his way up the corporate ladder and puts the work in, over a number of years; then he's in with a chance.

Some months ago I was talking to a new counsellor who asked about my psychotherapy writing, saying to me with a superior smirk "It's not easy to get published you know.  I've been trying for six months!"   To which I responded "You're right, it's not easy. It took me about seven years before I signed my first book contract, so you're still in the starting blocks. Keep at it."   Taken aback she then went on to say "Oh, are you self published then?" nodding at me expectantly.  "No. I'm not."  I replied.  

This is the kind of conversation I have to have time and time again. People find it hard to believe that I have been 'lucky' to have been given a traditional publishing contract, not just once or twice, but ten times over, with different publishing houses.  For some, it's just more than they can stomach.  In fact, for one hopeful, it riled her so much that she began to try and discredit me with my editors with a smear campaign.  Needless to say, my editors defended me admirably, and she shot herself in the foot of ever having her own work accepted by any of my publishers!  

Trying to tear down and discredit successful authors is not the way to get published.  In fact, it's the best way to get your own name black listed within the entire publishing industry, because editors all know each other and they do share information.   Jealousy is unbecoming, in any profession.  Don't give in to it. It won't get you published. Quite the opposite. 

Being paid to write is fantastic and I absolutely love my job with a passion and with gratitude.  Spending royalties for work that was published decades ago is also great fun.  I do feel extremely 

fortunate in my life and in my writing.  But I have worked hard for that success.  I've lived with strict, tight deadlines for nearly two decades.  I've produced words on demand, for most of my adult life.  I've created content for various publishers since I was 21.  I plan to continue, but for the moment, it's nice not to have a deadline looming on the horizon.  

It's nice to just be free, to write what I want, when I want, for whomever I want - I'm not tied to one genre or one publisher anymore.  This breathing space is just what I need right now.  It is the space I need to dream up new writing goals and to explore new avenues in terms of topic, genre, markets and so on.  It's nice to be free to grow in new directions as an artist, rather than trying to fit into a genre I had outgrown.  It is nice to have the time to dream on the page, letting my mind toy with fresh ideas, rather than having to produce this month's column.  Mostly, it's wonderful to be free to take my work back to the dream-seeds stage; where it's all my own and no one knows what I am writing about, or where I plan to publish it, so there is no target for people to aim at.  I feel like I have my writing back under my control and I can take my own sweet time with my new projects. And I do like to keep people guessing as to what I'll write and where I'll publish my work next! Until next time...