Admiral McRaven gives me butterflies!
I was introduced to his work a few months ago when I was having my lunch break in the Cruse Bereavement Care office and our administrator, Mary, handed me her phone saying "Here Marie, watch this, you'll love it. It's right up your street."
Glancing down at the phone I was momentarily dazzled by a man in a pristine white military uniform, complete with shiny gold buttons and a chest full of Commendations.
It's fair to say that the Admiral had my full attention in the blink of an eye. I was reminded of Richard Gere in An Officer And A Gentleman- which is never a bad thing. I clicked on the You Tube Play Button and fell into a mesmerised silence. Listening to the Admiral's speech, given in his lovely deep voice, the world did not exist...and that's when he first gave me butterflies.
It's been a while since a man gave me butterflies. The good butterflies. The kind that soar in beautiful formation through your entire being, lifting your spirits on stained glass wings until you feel that you can achieve anything. Like I said, the Admiral gave me some serious butterflies!
As I carried on with my day counselling bereaved clients, his speech played over in the back of my mind. So much so that I found the video on You Tube when I got home and watched it again. I'll link it at the end of this post so you can watch it too. It's so simple, but so powerful and empowering.
So when I discovered that he had written a book called Make Your Bed, based on his speech and his experience as a US Navy Seal, I knew I had to get it. I was intrigued and I wanted to read what he had to say. The book arrived today and I have spent a happy afternoon between the covers with the Admiral, because, why would I not?
And he gave me butterflies again...though this time they weren't so good. This time they were the stomach churning, anxiety driven moths of fear, because he was writing about the time he was terribly injured in a parachute jump that went very wrong. That chapter made for a painful reading experience. But the rest of the book is great. He talks about his time in Iraq and Afghanistan; what Saddam Hussein was really like in the days following his capture; how he made it through his Seal training. Most of all he describes how his military training can be applied to everyday life, by everyday people.
I was especially moved when reading his chapter on Giving People Hope. Although he was talking about losses within the military, it really struck a chord in me because that is essentially what we do at Cruse as counsellors. We offer people hope in their hour of need. We hold on to hope for them, until they are strong enough to carry it for themselves once more. We are a ray of light in their darkness. It's a tough job. It can be very difficult knowing what to say to someone who is grieving and all the training in the world doesn't make it any easier. You have to honour their grief and respect that their world has changed forever, and you will never make it all better for them, no matter what you say. But empathy goes a long way towards healing. Empathy is a good beginning.
Make Your Bed is a little book. It will fit neatly into your handbag or kit-bag so you can keep it with you as a mobile mentor for when you're having a particularly bad day. It's the kind of book you can dip into when you feel thwarted, or you want to quit, or you feel frightened. It will make you see that you are strong, powerful, resilient and courageous. Mostly it will offer up a military-strength pep-talk whenever you need it, so if you're fresh out of soldiers, you could do worse than spend the Prosecco money on this book instead. And if you don't want the book, here is the Admiral's fabulous speech on You Tube..get ready for the butterflies!
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