POET'S CORNER; Ice Queen Valentine

On this cold and frosty Valentine's Day

A poem to melt the heart...

Ice Maiden

She stands alone on a moonlit night,

Immune as the frost begins to bite.

Her heart is cold, she feels no chill,

This feisty maiden with an iron will.

Her stare can turn your blood to ice,

And chill your bones in a trice,

Her skin is soft and white as snow,

But hoar frost forms where tears should flow.

Her freezing touch invokes a gasp,

She is numbed by the pain from winters past.

Strong as the snow-capped mountains white,

Frozen in time when Love took flight,

Hiding behind an ice-cool mask,

And freezing out those who take her to task,

Concealing her wounds behind a glacial wall,

She keeps her fragility hidden from all.

From Love's harsh blows her frailty sheltered,

Yet the wish of her heart is but to be melted.

By Marie Bruce

IVORY TOWER; Winter Is Coming...it's arrived!!

Once upon a time in a land far away, there stood an ivory tower, amid a frozen sea of ice and snow...

Oh, okay, so I live in a semi-detached house, but I am nothing if not imaginative! It has been a very busy week of revamping my home and turning it into a wintry wonderland.  I've got lots more lovely things; pictures, candle holders, faux furs and such like.  I wanted to make it like a silvery forest and I had two images in mind as I gathered items together - Narnia and Scotland in the snow.

My mum bought me a big picture of a king stag in a snowy setting. Like the winter woodland picture I got last week, the stag is also shot through with silver thread, making it glimmer like a magic spell. I bought some silver cushions with stags on the front to go with the silver tree cushions from last weeks shopping trip. I also found some gorgeous tea light glasses in frosted white glass with sparkly gray squirrels on them. 

It was starting to look very much like the Highlands in winter, which is what I wanted, but I also wanted to give a nod to the place I actually live which is Yorkshire, so I got a stunning picture of a long stemmed winter white rose.  It has a mother of pearl finish and it gleams in the light. I love it.  It has replaced the pink rose picture that featured in the home shoot; that one is now hung in my bedroom.  The pearly finish gives the white rose a nice warm glow and a white rose is the sigil of Yorkshire.

It was important to me that the room didn't look too cold. I wanted it to have the essence of winter, but with a certain cosy glow about it. The whole point of my doing a wintry theme was that I can no longer enjoy deep winter like I used to because my thyroid illness makes the cold a lot less bearable, even dangerous, to me.  So I chose things with a silvery, glowy finish.  To add to the cosy feel I got a few faux fur items to snuggle up in; an Arctic Wolf hearth rug and some creamy Snow Leopard cushions and throw, which go nicely with the Silver Wolf throw I got last week.  So now there are lots of soft, cosy textures to add warmth to the room. As I said, I feel the cold and it can quickly make me ill, so I do need throws to snuggle under when I'm reading a book or watching a film.  

The cream faux suede curtains and silver tree voile panels look great, with the panels diffusing the light so that it looks like a snowy day, even when it's not! This was a lovely surprise. I also got two beautiful mirrored silver tree tea light holders for on either side of the piano.  These look stunning when the candles are lit inside and set the branches glimmering.  Another lucky find was a pouffe/footstool in champagne velvet, buttoned with diamante - it was on sale and just the right size for the space.  I do think that the right things just come to you if you are open to receiving them. You just have to go shopping with an open mind and a sense of gratitude.   It's the little finds that finish the job too; the new snowy owl and white filigree heart coasters make a cup of coffee more special and enjoyable somehow.

The final touch was another gift from my mum and it's a lovely dress-form but unlike the kind dress-makers use, this one is decorative and already wearing a cream frothy tutu and a string of pearls.  I adore her and I've named her Odette, after the Swan Queen.  I raided my jewelry box and added a couple of strands of beads, my bridesmaid pearls, my grandmothers double tier crystal necklace, a little diamante bow broach and a replica of Anne Boleyn's 'B' pearl choker, so now she looks all dressed and ready for the ball.  She is like a little snow queen, standing in the corner of the room.

So after a week of hard work, creativity and imaginative design (not to mention taking advantage of the January sales!) I now have a beautiful winter wonderland room that glimmers like a silver forest.  A place where Highland stags roam, trees glitter and a snow princess awaits her prince...a fairytale in frosted sparkle and winter white.  

I've fallen in love with my little nest all over again and I feel like I want to hibernate. Winter has come to my house, bringing a touch of the Scottish Highlands with it and I can now enjoy my favourite season all year round, without fearing the Cailleach's bite. It is my own version of Narnia, where it is always winter, but never cold and deadly! And I couldn't be happier with it. 

IVORY TOWER; Winter Is Coming...

Every snow queen deserves her own ice palace.

If you have been following my work for some years you will be aware that the dark season is my favourite time of year.  I love autumn and winter; these magical seasons that glow and gleam in turn, then fade into early darkness and twinkling black skies.  

As a child I used to wish I could find a way to make winter last longer, to make the amber tones of autumn linger on. As an adult I found that I could use my home to achieve this, to give me the lasting essence of the dark season, all year round.  If you saw the At Home shoot I did with Spirit&Destiny a while ago you will have noticed that I have a thing for decorative trees and leaves - the kind designed to hold candles and tealights.  I suppose part of me just wants to live in the middle of a forest, like witches do in fairytales, and I have brought that vision to life in my home decor with the accessories I own.   

Recently though I've been wanting to crank up the wintry aspects of my indoor enchanted woodland.  I want to bring in the shimmering light of a snowy day and the silver frost of a winter forest.  So I've been collecting things over the past few months - soft furnishings, trinkets, ornaments etc - keeping them all to one side until I have everything I need to make the transformation. Yesterday I went shopping for a few more bits and I am almost ready to bring the spirit of winter into my home, to sit alongside the iron trees and leaf men of autumn that already live here.

I bought some lovely cream voile panels that have silver metallic trees on them; new cream faux suede curtains; and crystal drop tie backs that look like ice.  These will really brighten the windows and make the whole room look different.  I also got new scatter cushions, cream with a silvery winter tree design. To go with these I got a soft silver faux fur throw, that looks similar to wolf fur and it just reminded me of Winterfell in Game of Thrones, so I had to have that. 

My main purchases yesterday were a couple of very special things; first of all I added to my winter tree collection - I already have a 5ft tree candle stand, a large tree wall sconce and a 3-fold silver leaf screen - yesterday I bought a silver branch wall sconce, that 'grows' out sideways. You can see trees that grow horizontally up on the Yorkshire Moors due to the high winds, and Emily Bronte makes reference to them in her novel, so whenever I see a horizontal tree it always makes me think of Wuthering Heights and my home county.  This silver branch has six cups to hold tealights and fixes to a wall.  It's very pretty and sparkly and goes well with the other trees. 

The last big item I bought was a huge picture of a silver-birch forest in winter. It is all silver and frosted and it has silver thread woven through the canvas, so it glimmers like sunlight on snow, which is exactly what I wanted.  It looks stunning against the cream wall -wintry but not cold and I am delighted with it. I can't stop looking at it, it's just so pretty and unusual. It's like a magical winter forest has been framed and preserved and now lives in my house! So my little woodland is growing and expanding and I love it! 

To add to the winter enchantment I have also been collecting silver stags on my visits to Scotland and I got some as gifts for Christmas too. I have them in all sizes, dotted around the room and they lend a sense of Celtic magic. Stags are the power animal of the pagan horned god Cernnunos or Herne the Hunter; they remind me of my time in the Highlands and the real live stags I have befriended there, so I wanted to have a lovely collection of pretty silver stags, sparkling around my home, to honor that connection. 

This weekend was all about shopping for the final bits and pieces; next weekend is when I plan to complete the transformation and hang the curtains and picture, put out all the soft furnishings and arrange the silver stags.  It is going to look like a whimsical winter wonderland, like Narnia, and I really cannot wait to get it all done so I can enjoy my very own silver winter forest, all year round. It is going to be beautiful - an Ice Palace for an Ice Maiden. 

Yes...Winter is coming...

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Outlander Obsessed!

I must confess that I am a little late to the Outlander fan party and it's a recent discovery to me.  I got the Series 1 DVD box set for my birthday last November and it was a case of instant obsession. I love tales of Scottish history and romance and as I enjoyed the series so much, I knew I had to read the books, so I've just bought the first three in the series; Outlander, Dragonfly in Amber and Voyager by Diana Gabaldon.  I started reading book 1 this weekend and I'm loving it so far.

Outlander tells the story of Claire Randell, a WW2 military nurse, who stumbles through a portal back in time to Jacobite Scotland in 1743.  It is set in Inverness and surrounding area, taking in Fort William as the story progresses.  These are the places I visit when I go on holiday to the Highlands, so the Outlander series has given me a new appreciation of my time there and a longing to return.

This series presents the Scotland that I love, the place I look for on my visits - the romantic, honorable, battle ready side of Scottish history, the breath of which still lingers in the remoter parts of the Highlands where the story takes place.  It is the idealism of a nation, swathed in magical mists and slippery with spilt blood as the Scots fight against English occupation. 

I love that the tale is told through the eyes of an English woman, a Sassenach. As she tries desperately to assimilate with her new circumstances, in a new time, she struggles to understand the ways of  the Scots.  She tries to make friends. She tries to prove herself kind and trustworthy by being helpful with her gift of healing. Yet always she remains an outsider - useful to the Scots, but never truly accepted by any one of them. Except Jamie...

Of course I'm completely in love with Jamie Fraser...a hot tempered, red haired, honorable, gallant, kilted Highland Chief...oh my, how could I not be?? He hand-fasts with Claire to protect her from questionable members of his own Clan, by making her a part of it and thus protected by a blood tie; he rescues her from English soldiers with wicked intent; he gives her haughtiness a ticking off when she needs it - he is her match, in all things - except Time.

I can relate to so much of this story and Claire's struggle; the feeling of being torn between two worlds, two different times in her life, two loves; and of never feeling like she fits in with either one. Always longing for where she isn't - it's a difficult road to travel; one which requires a true heart, a sure step and a steady courage to face down the hostility that is ever present in the Highlands.  I love Outlander because it gives me a taste of the Highlands when I am in England, and as I can't cross the border for a while yet, I need this show and these novels to sustain me in the meantime.

The final episode of the series is very harrowing and one that I will not watch again - I'll leave it at the penultimate episode and then move onto Series 2 when that comes out.  I admire the fearlessness of the last episode though - making the last battle, as it were, all about the two men and showing the lasting effects of that battle, the hidden mental scars that linger, is an epic piece of media genius. If it makes men think on it, relate to it, then it has served a very useful purpose in facilitating understanding. I won't watch it again - it's just too brutal for me - but I admire the genius behind it.

All the Outlander books by Diana Gabaldon are available from Amazon UK, however the DVD box set is only currently offered to view on Amazon Prime, so if you want to buy it, you're better off trying HMV instead.  I'm looking forward to discovering how the story unfolds through the novels and eagerly awaiting the release of Series 2 box set.  Jamie Fraser is my new favourite Scotsman...I'm sure you can see why... :-) 

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Christmas Rose

A Rose in Winter

It's 9pm on Christmas Eve and the weather has turned suddenly chilly, almost as if the sky deities know that people are dreaming of a white and frosty Christmas.  I'm curled up by the fire, with the lights of the tree twinkling and sparkling around me. A cinnamon chai WoodWick candle crackles as it burns, filling the room with a warm spicy fragrance.

I feel content and a bit dreamy tonight.  Although it is only the beginning of Christmas my mind has already turned towards the goals I want to set myself for next year.  2015 is drawing to a quiet close and I am happy to leave it behind. It hasn't been a bad year; but I have been in a state of anger, grief and sadness for much of it.  Now that a new year is waiting in the wings and I am in a much calmer state of mind, I feel ready to welcome new adventures.

I have greatly missed Scotland this year, but having a break from it was the right thing to do, for several reasons.  I'll be continuing the break through 2016 too. Friends there have my number and can call me if they miss me meantime, and the motorway runs both ways - they can always come to Yorkshire. 

But for now my college course has to take priority, and pass or fail, I have only 18 months of studying left to go and then I'll be free of night school.  So I plan to return to Scotland after completing the course; perhaps to Dornoch for the autumnal equinox in 2017. That is something I can look forward to and it will be a nice treat after four years of studying, essay writing and exams.

This time away from the Highlands has served to help me reassess how I feel about what I've experienced there, because it isn't all romance and pipe-dreams. There is a harsh side to Scotland; the cold weather takes its toll on me because of my thyroid illness; some of the local women there can be hostile at times; and my straight-taking Yorkshire ways simply cannot fathom the two faces of the Scots. Do they know they can seem false to those who might be unfamiliar with their ways? Why can't they just say what they mean? Why talk in riddles and in the 3rd person when I'm standing right there?  I needed a break from it.

I needed time to get back to my honest Yorkshire roots; to good old fashioned English values.  An Austrian called Sven told me "You are an English rose"...I've been thinking about this in recent months.  What does it mean to be an English rose and have I allowed the Bruce to be too dominant a side of my personality?  I am the rose and the thistle combined, English and Scots by birth and blood, yet I've never thought of myself as an English rose before - it took an Austrian tourist to point it out to me.

An English rose is pale skinned, with rosy lips and cheeks..so in that respect I fit the description.  The White Rose is the emblem of Yorkshire, so that fits too.  Yet I always imagined an English rose to be passive, easily charmed and that's where I falter.  I'm too bolshie to be passive - yet roses have thorns, so maybe I am one after all. It has certainly given me food for thought.

To me an English rose is peaceful, gentle, charming and joyful; while the Scots Thistle is prickly, defensive, vigilant and wild. 'None shall irritate me unscathed' and I have certainly exhibited thistle behavior this past year, so perhaps it is time to cultivate my inner rose instead and see where she takes me. Perhaps she will help me to remain calm and serene under pressure; receptive and open to bright new prospects; blossoming towards a new adventure.  

Maybe 2016 will be my English Rose year; a year to soften the edges and come to full bloom once more.  Perhaps it is only by embracing my English side that the rose and the thistle can co-exist peacefully together within my personality. And its not like I'm turning away from my Scots side because the white rose was also the symbol of the Jacobites...so I guess whichever way you look at it rebellion is in my blood! 

And so tonight, a Christmas rose is born...and a Merry Christmas to all the other roses out there x

MUSICAL DOLL; If I Die Young

Lay me down on a bed of roses...

Send me away with the words of a love song...

The ballad of a dove, go in peace and love.

ONCE UPON A DREAM; My Mercurial Mind

Preparing to dive into a new essay assignment...

Tonight is writing weather...by that I mean it's dark, stormy, wet and windy...the perfect weather for hiding away in my little study and putting together this blog post. It's been a while since I posted anything on here and that is because I've been concentrating on my night school classes, course work, my columns and freelance writing.  Oh and I had my birthday last month too! So I've been quite busy.

This past week we were given one of our assignments for the course; an essay to be completed in the next four weeks. I have been gathering together my counselling books to assist me as we have to include references throughout the work. This doesn't really sit well with me to be honest - I'm used to writing all my own words, not relying on other authors for back-up! It's one of the differences between commercial and academic writing. 

I am still finding the whole academic side of things to be very pretentious.  Basically, academics like to take a very simple thing and dress it up in as much pomposity as they can manage in order to try and pass it off as something extremely complex that only they and their ilk can understand.  But I just can't buy into that kind of bullshit. I find it totally ridiculous.  The other day for example, our tutor must have spent at least an hour defining the word 'evaluate' - an hour!! I mean, it's not rocket science is it? It's just a word.  I find it difficult not to roll my eyes. 

Some of the course content is quite interesting. I enjoy the self-awareness side of counsellor training and when I can relate to something I find it keeps hold of my attention for longer. But the rest is just too far up it's own rear end for my tastes. It brings out my moody side.  

I have always had a very mercurial mind and I do experience swift and sudden changes in temperament; it is easy to make me laugh, but it is also easy to make me furious!  This is magnified whenever I get stressed and it triggers my forgetfulness too, so for the past few years, what with juggling the course and my writing and coming to terms with five deaths in three years, I have been a mood-swinging enigma!  

People never know what kind of response they will get from me - good or ill-tempered.  Recent bereavements have only added fuel to the temperamental fire, as it would with anyone. But I'm starting to move into a much calmer place now.  I'm still sad at the passing of three of my friends in the Highlands, but there is a quiet serenity to my sorrow these days.

That's not to say I'll never display another ill-tempered backlash to a time wasting cold-caller, because I probably will. But I am remembering to try and breathe through the stress before I respond to anyone.  To slow down. To think before I feel.  And true friends make allowances anyway.

The silver lining is that, just like me, some of the strongest women in history have also been of a very mercurial mindset - Anne Boleyn, Elizabeth I, Queen Victoria - so maybe it's not such a bad thing after all. Maybe it is  a mark of my strength. 

Could it be a sign of your strength too?