ONCE UPON A DREAM: Demure Days

 

 

As winter begins to draw to a close and we look ahead to the brighter days of spring, it is time to think about coming out of hibernation. However, for me, that does not mean a return to the busyness of before. Something has changed in me this past winter. It is as if allowing myself the time and space to slow down has given me the chance to embrace my softer self. While I will always love my active hobbies - riding, skating, dancing etc., - I have a tendency to take on too much. A couple of years ago I was writing at least half a dozen projects a year, studying at Oxford, writing assignments, riding horses, going to music school for piano classes, attending the theatre, ballet, concerts etc. You name it, I was doing it and whilst it was a lot of fun and very productive, it was also exhausting. 

Over the winter period however I have slowed myself right down. I booked a little time off with my publisher, realising that just because I'm self-employed doesn't mean that I'm not entitled to some annual leave. I am, so long as I give my publisher plenty of notice so that we can come up with realistic deadlines for future projects. I had Christmas and New Year off, which was lovely, but I was very careful not to overbook myself for too many festive events. As lovely as they are, they can also be quite exhausting to me because of the Chronic Fatigue. 

So I slowed down. I finished up my final projects for 2025, redecorated my bedroom, got new synopsis in to my publisher for 2026 projects and then I just Flopped quite considerably.  I have been in the Flop stage before. It's a natural result of being in Functional Freeze for so many years, but this time instead of fighting it, I just allowed it to happen. It was the best thing I could have done for myself, because I needed rest in order to process the difficult events of the last two years. I had to remind myself that I was not being lazy, that I had been retraumatized. I was feeling acutely triggered on a daily basis, even by people I love very deeply, and so I needed space to work through all the emotions that recent trauma had brought up.

In the space where busyness used to be, I felt a kind of healing begin to take shape. It's slow and steady and I'm not where I want to be just yet, but giving myself time and space, solitude and silence has really kick-started that process.  I realised that the world was far too noisy for me. It was much too harsh, people were far too harsh, too demanding. So I retreated into my shell, into a world of my own making - my little house, where I could enjoy the peace and quiet, silence and solitude that I needed. 

I stopped doing anything that left me feeling drained or anxious. Instead, I took up my quieter hobbies and became more of an indoor girl, as Jack says in Titanic.  I spent my time stitching tapestry, knitting an army green scarf for one of my soldier friends (its about half-way done, Kermit!), baking chocolate brownies, having Lush baths and simply resting.  

I prioritised my reading, enjoying the work of other authors and escaping into new novels. I watched Elven videos on You Tube and became so inspired by them that I decided to add faux cherry blossom vines around my four-poster bed, and deep red-rose vines around my fireplace and the screen in the living room. These simple, floral touches make my heart happy. I wish the flowers were real, but that's just not feasible for long term décor, yet they still add femininity and a touch of that Elven enchantment to my home.

I came to call these simple routines my demure days, where I would focus entirely on bringing more softness into my life and my home, bringing all my senses to a place of tranquillity. I listened to a lot of Enya and to Eleanor Tomlinson's Tales From Home, or Omnia's Naked Harp album.   I read poetry and spent time colouring in my art therapy books, enjoying the process of turning a blank outline into something beautiful with a few strokes of a pencil crayon. I felt inspired to buy a few stickers so that I could add tiny flowers and butterflies to the images that I coloured in, placing butterflies in the manes of the unicorns and flowers on the fairy dresses. 

I flipped through chic and feminine magazines. I gave some of my treasures a bit of a makeover, painting the dark brown frame of my French Pierrot mirror a pastel pink and adding chiffon butterflies to the frame too. I bought fresh flowers to arrange, digging out my old Pierrot bud vases and putting fresh blooms on my dressing table and by my bed, creating little vignettes of life and loveliness. 

I set my piano playing gently to itself in the background, because it can do that, but I had never used that function before and it is actually rather lovely.

I invested in an answer phone and started letting the machine take all my calls, so that my peace was not disturbed at all. I reply to messages and get back to people, of course, but no message means no response from me.  It weeds out the time-wasters from the genuine callers. I should have got one years ago! 

In short, I enjoyed myself at home, in my own quiet way and it has paid off. I now feel calm and tranquil in my mind. My emotions are no longer being triggered at the drop of a hat - though this could be because I haven't been interacting with men, so there are no triggers around me. Only time will tell if that is the case, but for the most part I feel that my serenity has come back. I'm calm enough to pause before responding again, which is a big improvement on where I was a year or so ago! 

My demure days have become an intrinsic part of my routine. They are an aspect of my self-care. Yes I am still studying at Oxford and I currently have an assignment to write, plus new books to start writing for my publisher too, but I'm not putting so much pressure on myself. I can enjoy my studies without feeling the need to be the perfect student. I can enjoy the process of writing my new books because I have a more generous deadline for them - 7 weeks instead of 4, in which to write them. This means that I have breathing space again, and time to enjoy my more demure hobbies and interests, as I surround myself with tranquil music and scented candles or a perfumed bubble bath. One day I will return to my active hobbies, but for the time being, all is soft, sweet and demure, and that's how I like it. It's exactly what I need at this phase of my life.  

As women, I think that we have been conditioned into taking on hustle culture and being super productive, in addition to carrying the emotional needs of everyone around us, while neglecting ourselves in the process. It can be very draining. Demure days are a way to switch the focus back to softness, femininity and serenity. Back to yourself. Demure days are a source of better mental health and well-being. They are something that everyone deserves, regardless of gender. We all need more softness in this harsh world. We should all be much kinder to one another and to ourselves. 

Demure days are not about neglecting your responsibilities. They are about helping yourself be calm and regulated enough that you can bring peace to those responsibilities. Being good to yourself, taking time out when you need it, asking for space - these are the things that will make you a better friend, girlfriend, sister or daughter.  Demure days are good for you and in turn, for the ones you love. 

I truly hope that I can maintain this sense of inner tranquillity that I have worked so hard to cultivate in myself these past few months. The real test will be when I come face to face with a man's ego again! Will I react, or will I breathe, pause and respond, with all the serenity of a Swan Queen? Time will tell, but I'm hopeful that it will be the latter. 

Serene and Demure Blessings

Marie x

BOOK NOOK: Catherine by Essie Fox

" 'He's not for you!' I exclaimed, just as a bird in a cage across the room began to trill. 'See that canary over there - I would no sooner set it free in the park this winter's day than suggest you spread your wings and fly away with such a man. You don't know him at all. He'd crush you like a sparrow's egg. He is the wolf to your lamb. He'd tear your throat out with his teeth and laugh to see you bleed to death.' " 

I have been saving this ARC like a future treasure. Catherine is a retelling of Wuthering Heights and so I wanted to wait to read it, until after I had seen the new movie. I knew that I would want to prolong the movie vibes, so I kept this book on standby ready. I did really enjoy the film, even though it only tells half the story of Emily Bronte's classic novel, and key characters are missing entirely. However, the 2026 film isn't meant to be a faithful adaptation of the original text, but more of a romantic spin-off.  

The original novel isn't a romance! It's meant to be a dark and twisted exploration of toxic relationships, prejudice, vengeance, generational abuse and trauma. Instead of sweet passion there is only obsession, instead of love there is only possession. That's not love or romance. It's abuse, as the abused becomes the abuser. As a character Heathcliff could be described as a sociopath at best, a psychopath at worst, so he is certainly not a romantic hero. He is a classic Byronic anti-hero. Recent woke agendas have declared Heathcliff to be of black origin. However, I studied the Bronte's work, including Wuthering Heights, at Oxford and the accepted academic theory is that Heathcliff was most likely to be of Romany-Irish traveller origin, hence why he is often referred to as a gypsy.

Whatever his origins, Heathcliff is a character that has captured the imagination for almost 200 years. I must confess though, that Wuthering Heights is not my favourite Bronte novel. It is emotionally heavy reading, it is full of suffering and there isn't one single likable character in the entire book! That said, it's not a book that you ever forget. Once you've read it, Emily's world stays with you in some deep, dark part of your psyche. Her original novel can be a bit of chore to read, as the author is deliberately setting out to confuse her readers with similar names for her characters, hints at a past that is never fully revealed or explained, suggestions of incest and the muddied lineage of the characters and inter-cousin relationships. Factor in the oblique Victorian language-style and well, it's messy, to say the least - although there will always be the ignorant romantic who waxes lyrical on how wonderful Heathcliff is and how romantic the novel is  - and they are perfectly free to die on that hill. 

But Wuthering Heights isn't a romance and it was never meant to be. 

It's meant to be dark and twisted.

So it was long past time that the old classic was given a makeover and that is exactly what Catherine is. In this book, the author, Essie Fox, stays very close to Emily Bronte's original text. Her plotlines run parallel with the Bronte classic that we all know, no characters are omitted and all the main events happen as per the original novel.  In this book though, it is the ghost of Catherine herself who is the narrator, rather than the outsider, Mr Lockwood. This gives the novel such a feeling of immediacy and authenticity that, at times, I forgot that I was reading a retelling.  It also helps to make the original Bronte novel much more accessible, as Catherine is well-written but without the extremely convoluted, labyrinthine language of the classic. Whilst all the indigenous twists and turns are still there, they are presented in a much more straight-forward and modern literary way, so the book is a pleasure to read. 

Here we get to know Cathy from her own perspective, rather than through the eyes of the often spiteful Nelly Dean of the classic. It is Cathy who speaks to us of her childhood, of her beloved moors and the vastness of nature that becomes her church, of her relationships and her ever-growing feelings for Heathcliff. We witness her wrestling with her conscience as she tries to be a good influence on her foundling friend, but only ends up having tantrums of her own. We feel the freedom of the moors through her experiences and what a blissful escape from trauma and abuse it was to both her and Heathcliff, and how this shared escape to freedom solidified their emotional bond.  She is still the wilful Cathy that we know and love, yet her voice has softened slightly, as she recounts her story with the benefit of ghostly hindsight.  In this novel, we are Cathy, just as Cathy is Heathcliff!

This POV and first person narrative makes it feel as if you are right at the heart of the story, in a way in which the original novel does not, because Bronte's intention was for the reader to experience the feeling of being the outsider, someone who is always looking in, but never quite included, much as Heathcliff was an outcast. In Catherine, the reader is very much included in the story and so you get to witness it unfold first-hand,  one tragic piece of the puzzle at a time.  

Catherine has been a fantastic read and I ripped through it in just a couple of days. It's a very pretty book, with cover art reminiscent of the Bronte Parsonage in Yorkshire, the home of the Bronte sisters. It also has beautiful end pages and sprayed edges with an avian, corvid theme. If you are a Bronte fan then you will probably enjoy this retelling of Wuthering Heights. It is just the thing to prolong the highly-romanticised Heathcliff vibes from the new movie, which is a must-see as it is such a beautiful and picturesque film. 

However, if you're looking for a film that adheres to the original Bronte text, I recommend the 1992 version with Ralph Fiennes and Juliette Binoche, which is fabulous and appropriately dark and twisted! 

In the meantime, I'm off to play the new Wuthering Heights soundtrack from the latest movie and make plans for a day out on the Yorkshire Moors. Happy reading.

Serene Blessings

Marie x

AD: This book was sent to me by the publisher prior to its release for the purposes of review. It was published on February 12th in hardcover, digital and audio formats. 

 

ONCE UPON A DREAM: Valentine's Elven Love Spell

 If Cupid didn't bring you any Valentines this morning, fear not.

Here is one from a beautiful Elven Prince.

No mortal man could ever compete...

Because life has taught me that fantasy is far better than reality.

Happy Valentine's Day

xxx

BOOK NOOK : Uncharmed by Lucy Jane Wood

" 'Absolutely not. No glitter,' Hal said. He looked accusatorially at Annie. 'If your magic is anything to go by, that damn stuff will get absolutely everywhere and I'll never see the end of it. I've already noticed yours, hanging everywhere around the place.'

'You don't like it?' Annie said, genuinely baffled. As a firm believer in extra sparkle at all times, she had tinkered with her own magic to ensure the glitter lingered a little longer than the average. "

I love reading witchy novels but sometimes those with a slant of history can be a little dark, even a touch depressing. So I was delighted when Pan Macmillan sent me an ARC of this book back in the autumn. Uncharmed is a cosy, witchy fantasy with a hint of romance and magic galore. In this world, witchcraft is hidden but not forbidden and there is no mention of the historical witch hunts of the past. It's a very light hearted and immensely fun read. 

I hadn't read this author before so her work is a new discovery to me and I have to say that I loved Uncharmed right from the opening lines of the very first page. It tells the story of Andromeda Wildwood, or Annie, who runs a beautiful bakery in London, whipping up enchanted pastries and cakes for her unsuspecting customers. She lives in a self-designed world of pure femininity, where everything is pink and pretty, including her bakery and the cakes she creates. Imagine if the Charmed Ones ran a magical branch of Peggy Porschen - that's the vibe of this book. It has echoes of the Joanne Harris novel Chocolat but with way more magic involved. 

I really liked the characters in this novel.  Annie is a lot like Elle Woods from the Legally Blonde films and I kept picturing Reese Witherspoon in my mind as I was reading. However, Annie takes perfectionism to a whole new magical level, making Mary Poppins seem like an underachiever! Everything in her life is spot-on and flawless, but as her perfectionism is a trauma response to the loss of her parents, she has a deep seated feeling of being unworthy and not good enough and so she has fallen into the classic trap of becoming a people pleaser. She takes on far too much, running her bakery, offering emotional support to her customers, helping out with her coven and going on blind dates she doesn't want, all because she's too afraid to say no to anyone. She doesn't want to disappoint people. 

So when her coven leader asks her to take on the training of an unschooled teenage witch who has recently come into her powers, Annie feels compelled to say yes, even though she has little time to spare. And that's where all the trouble begins, for young Maeve is in no mood to be trained, least of all by a version of Pink-Witch-Barbie and her wooden spoon! She wants to learn from her own instincts and her love of books, not from a mentor in perfection. Annie has her work cut out and following a particularly disastrous false start, she and Maeve are sent away to a ramshackle cottage in the woods, lost in the middle of nowhere, where the magic lessons can do no further harm.  Cue magical house-makeover montage - fabulous! Very Nicole Kidman in Bewitched. 

This is a novel that explores the true meaning of family, of home, of love and what it means to be a good friend - with a clear depiction of false friendships too by way of comparison. The romance is light and slow burning, there is a hilarious bad day when the magic has lapsed, plus some epic magical battle scenes. In short, it has everything you could wish for from a cosy, witchy fantasy novel.

Uncharmed is a lovely stand-alone story. The vanilla fragranced magic shimmers across the page in a stream of pink glitter and its just so visual in its descriptive passages that it would make a wonderful movie. There is tons of magic in this one - rival covens, some adorable familiars and a few comical mistakes. There were parts of the book that made me laugh out loud, especially the meet-cute with Hal and the bickering relationship that develops between Annie and Maeve. With echoes of Disney's Fantasia and the classic fairytale Snow White, its easy to see where the author found her inspiration, yet she has somehow managed to transform these echoes into something that is entirely her own and altogether charming.  It's a fairytale as much as a witchy novel and it will make your mouth water for Annie's deliciously enchanted pastries. 

If, like me, you believe that everything can be improved with a little bit of shimmer, and if you are a pink witch with a sweet tooth, then you will love this sparkling, brilliant book. But make sure you have a few sweet treats on hand because you will crave a sugar-rush as you read this delightful confection of a novel. Enjoy!

Serene Blessings

Marie x

AD: This novel was sent to me by the publisher Pan Macmillan for the purposes of review. It is available now in hardcover, digital and audio formats. 

BOOK NOOK: The Undoing of Violet Claybourne

 "The snow was soft and powdery and made a satisfying squeaky crunch beneath our feet. The air was clean and brittle. When we reached the small copse, I turned around and drew a breath. Against the white ground and pale grey sky, Thornleigh looked magnificent. With its turrets and jagged edges it appeared like a thorny weed sprung miraculously from the frozen ground. Yet, there was also something foreboding about the way it sat, up there on the mount, watching over us."

The Undoing of Violet Claybourne has been on my shelf for a while now, waiting for when I had time and space to read it.  It is a galloping Gothic novel and I devoured it in two days. I have read lots of Gothic novels as a reviewer, but this one is a real page turner and it kept me gripped throughout. There isn't a single slow moment - the action keeps moving along at a great pace and at times it left me breathless, almost panicked, so authentic is the writing. 

It tells the story of three sisters and Gillian, who is the friend of the youngest sister and the main protagonist. The Claybourne sisters, Emmeline, Laura and young Violet, are from a very affluent family, living on a large country estate. The story begins in the years leading up to the outbreak of the Second World War, when Violet arrives at Heathcomb Boarding School for Girls and becomes Gillian's roommate. To begin with, the novel has quite strong Dark Academia vibes. 

Right from the start Gilly is captivated by Violet and her daredevil, rebellious ways and the two soon become firm friends. Until Violet came along, Gilly was rather a loner, ignored by her father, who is her only surviving parent, and frequently left with an aging aunt for the school holidays. So when Violet invites Gillian to spend the Christmas holidays at her home, Thornleigh Hall, Gilly is delighted to accept. 

Upon arrival she is soon swept away by the grandeur of the estate, where one is expected to dress for dinner each evening, expensive shopping trips are put 'on account' and where lavish balls are planned for the festive period. It is a place where the elites thrive, a place of hunting, shooting and fishing on the lake and Gillian soaks it all up. She is especially enthralled by Violet's glamourous older sisters - Emmeline, the sophisticated and studious eldest sister who is an Oxford student, and Laura, the fun-loving, jazz-playing middle sister who has quite a Flapper-esque feel about her reminiscent of the roaring twenties, rather than the 1930s. Gillian is full of admiration for both the older girls and the exciting lives that they lead, studying, hunting, shopping, drinking and dancing. 

She is seduced by the appearance of generational wealth, the routines of the household, for instance, having tea in the library by a huge open fire, the talk of coming out balls, handsome suitors and engagements, and the prospect of participating in the Christmas festivities at such a grand home as Thornleigh Hall. She is desperate to be included, accepted and welcomed as some sort of adopted sister, and she is willing to do whatever it takes to win the approval of the sisters, especially Emmeline. 

However, things take a turn for the worse when events during the Boxing Day Hunt go terribly awry, sealing the four young women in a relationship that they could never have predicted and can't escape. From then on the novel gets increasingly darker and the Gothic tropes are deployed thick and fast - secrets, lies, madness, incarceration, scapegoats, power and control. The novel simply strides along, following the four women from their last youthful and disastrous Christmas, right up until they are  old ladies in their seventies, but the pacing never slows down. There are some fantastic red herrings and brilliant twists in the tale that I never saw coming! 

In some ways this book reminded me of Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca, or maybe the first book in the S.T.A.G.S series by M A Bennet, because it has that same theme of a poor young woman seduced by the affluence and wealth of the elite class, so if you like either of those books then you will probably enjoy The Undoing of Violet Claybourne too.  It is certainly a very harrowing read at times and it made me feel very glad that I have never had any sisters, because the sisterly bonds in this book are torturous! It is an excellent psychological thriller, set in an affluent world of privilege, all with serious Gothic undertones.  Enjoy!

Serene Blessings

Marie x

AD: This book was sent to me by the publisher, Bonnier Books, for the purposes of review. It is available now in all formats.