ONCE UPON A DREAM; Succeed Elsewhere Instead

Success is never as straight forward as people tend to think it is.  It is invariably a series of missteps and wrongs turns, detours and deviations.  To those on the outside, it might look like a smooth path -  but to the person actually on that path, it can be tricky underfoot and hard going.

You might have the best intentions and all the will in the world to achieve your goals, but life will always throw a few surprises at you along the way, not all of them pleasant.  You might have to take a long diversion, going right out of your way for a long time, just to get closer to where you want to be.  If that is the case, it is important that you keep your mind focused on the main goal, because if you allow your mind to be side-tracked too, success may well elude you and you could find yourself in the rut of just 'making do'. 

Success is a personal journey of achievement and it will look different for everyone.  What makes me feel successful is unlikely to be the same thing that makes you feel successful.  For some people success is money in the bank, for others it's a happy family and healthy children.  This is why trying to copy someone else's success and achievement rarely works in the long term. You have to find your own path, not follow in the footsteps of someone you admire, even if you only admire them from afar, or somewhat begrudgingly.  Success is a personal formula, as unique as a finger-print. 

There may also be people who try to get in your way, hold you back or knock you down.   They might be motivated by fear of losing you or of change in general.  They might be suffering from negative admiration - a deep seated reluctant admiration that expresses itself as envy and sabotage.  Because they feel threatened by your talents and know that they will never be anything like you, they try to tear you down instead.  This gives them the satisfaction of feeling that they have power over you, but such a set-back will only be temporary because those who are driven to succeed don't let anyone else stand in their way, least of all a spiteful individual with self-esteem issues!

For me, success is being traditionally published and enjoying seeing my work out there and although there have been times when it hasn't been plain sailing, when people have tried to put me down and discount my talent, when spite has resulted in attempts at sabotage and when editors have not been overly enthusiastic about my ideas, this has never been enough to stop me.  

My philosophy has always been that if I don't succeed in one place, I'll just go and succeed somewhere else instead.  And that is what I've always done.  If I stop succeeding with one publisher, I move on to another; if a magazine editor dislikes my ideas, I'll pitch and sell them to another editor instead.  If I get bored of writing on one topic, I'll switch to a new topic - or a new genre. If one clinical placement turns out to be dodgy, I'll already have a back-up placement in the pipeline, just waiting for me to say when I'll start.  No-one gets in my way for long! 

One way or another, I will always succeed, because I'm not afraid to move on and try my luck elsewhere, or try out a new writing genre.   This type of 'stepping-stones' approach to success has always served me best, because I'm never in one place long enough to get bogged down by it. I move on to something else that is just as good, if not better.  

Also, I'm not afraid to start again from scratch, or be a beginner at something, whereas many other people are. People tend to get set in their ways and they don't want to start anew - but this is where failure becomes a comfort zone.  Success can be a difficult and uncomfortable journey at times.  You might have to change your routine, go back into education, live on a shoe-string, leave your home town to find it - but the feeling of achievement and knowing that you've actually done something with your life, makes it all worth while.  

Failure is only negative if it stops you from trying.  Sabotage will only work if you allow it to get in your way long term.  Learn from the missteps, laugh at the saboteurs and succeed elsewhere, in spite of it all.  That's the real trick to success.

Bon Chance!  

MUSICAL DOLL; I Fell In Love With The Devil

This is just beautiful...

The lure of a man you know is no good for you, 

but you just can't help yourself...

 Loving the red dress - princess goals!

xxx

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Therapy Writing CPD

 

I spent the month of June studying the craft of therapeutic writing, both in terms of writing as self-therapy and teaching it as a subject and therapy tool.  As a lifelong journal writer and diarist, I firmly believe in writing as a tool of self-reflection and in the healing power  of journaling.  I often joke that my therapist is called Paige, when I am in fact referring to the page I write on in my journal, because I do prefer to counsel myself.

It has been an interesting topic to study, especially studying poetry as therapy, as I do love poetry.  It is such a charming form of writing and I quickly noticed through my work as a counsellor at Cruse Bereavement Care, that it is a form of writing that people naturally turn to when struggling with grief.  Clients found great comfort in reading and writing poetry that expressed their feelings of loss, despair and abandonment. 

I liked the teaching aspects a lot too and it will be very useful when I see clients and when I write my psychotherapy column each month. It has been a great insight and has sown seeds of possible options that I might look into at a later date.  

It has also brought home to me the fact that I return to formal academics myself in less than ten weeks, when I begin to study a Masters degree.  There has been quite a bit of administration to do for that, prior to matriculation.  I'm starting to get excited at the prospect of being in lectures again.  I do enjoy studying and I find it therapeutic.  Achievement is good for you; it stops you being stuck in a rut and academic work improves your meta-cognition process and therefore your self-awareness and overall personal development. 

I have never wanted to wake up later in life and wonder why I haven't achieved anything. I never wanted to be a hamster on the wheel, trudging off to work everyday in a dull job and drinking away the weekends.  I have always had ambitions. I have always set goals for myself and I do tend to achieve those goals, largely because I don't give myself any other option! I keep at it until it is achieved. 

Earlier this year I decided that I wanted to get my CPD out of the way before the end of summer and I have now done that, first with a course in Pet Bereavement Therapy and now Therapeutic Writing.  So with my CPD obligations in the bag, I can turn my attention to preparations for university and tick off items on that to-do list.

I remember last summer, I felt very wistful at the back-to-school rituals going on around me, knowing that I would not be a part of it.  I had decided to take a year out between qualifying as a psychotherapist, which I did last July, and moving onto the next level of studying.  I do think that was the wise thing to do as I was mentally exhausted after five years psychotherapy training, but I still missed the excitement of looking forward to going back to class and all the preparation that entails. 

This year, indeed for the next two years, I can fully participate in the age-old autumn tradition of going back to class!  I feel thrilled and privileged to be able to look forward to doing a Masters degree. I know it will be stressful because academic pressure is designed to induce stress in students; but I also know that it is a golden opportunity and a vital stepping stone on the path of my life plan. 

It's wonderful to have that feeling of moving forward in my life; of sowing the seeds of future dreams and achievements; to look forward to that feeling of belonging with another group of students who are all working towards a common goal and who have a similar mind-set; that feeling of academic community is second to none and I have missed it greatly this past year. 

So I am concentrating on the beginnings of my next goal and making myself as prepared as I can be.  Twenty published books, two columns, one album, two professions and countless magazine articles and clinical hours on...and I am ready to start achieving something new! 

Roll on September...I can't wait. 

ONCE UPON A DREAM; Spread Love and Light

Last week I charged and empowered a blue lapis crystal bracelet for a friend who was about to take her nursing exams.  She was very nervous, so I chose the crystals to bring her calmness, clarity and emotional balance as she went through her practical assessments.  This is the kind of thing I do quite often - if I see someone who is struggling with something and I think I can help with a touch of spell-craft, then I do.  It takes hardly any time at all, not much money and it spreads joy and comfort.  

The world can be a dark place at times and everyone is going through something, so I think it is important that we all try to spread as much love and light as we possibly can.   We can do this in so many ways, some magical, some mundane, but it is important that we do it. 

Many people go through daily life unaware of how they interact with others, oblivious to the fact that their attitude has an impact on perfect strangers.  Others actively seek to sow the seeds of discord wherever they go, with whomever is so unfortunate as to cross their path, even briefly.  If you meet someone like this, try to shrug it off and don't take it personally, because their bad behavior will only result in their own  misfortune at some stage further down the line.  You don't have to carry their rudeness with you - leave it behind. 

Some people just have a very dark aura and a negative impact on others so it's always best to avoid them if possible, but if you can't avoid them, then protect yourself from their bad energy with crystals and charms and simple spells.  Be vigilant because these people have a tendency to rear their very ugly heads time and again.  Good magic will help to keep them at bay. 

If you are having a run of bad luck, or you just sense bad vibes around you, it might be time to do some cleansing magic. Keep your own energy positive and regularly cleanse your home, car, yourself and your aura with smudge work.  Smudging is simple, quick, inexpensive and effective.  You should do a quick smudge whenever something negative has occurred; for example, my mother's car was recently bumped while in a car park and though the damage was minimal, the car just didn't feel right. I gave her a smudge stick and we got crystals for protection and safe travel, and now the car feels lovely again.  It really doesn't take much effort to keep the good vibes ticking along, but you do have to act fast after negative energy has invaded your space - don't allow it to linger and attract further problems.

Get whimsical with your magic.  Wear white heather or lavender for luck.  Plant rosemary for protection.  Wish on stars and dandelions, as you did when you were a child; this type of natural magic is still there and you can still tap into it, even as an adult.  

Bear in mind the rule of three; what you send out will some back to you threefold, which is another great reason for actively spreading love and light.  Try to do nice things for people because random acts of kindness have a healing effect.  Smile - it's free and it spreads joy.  Be kind to people - it helps to makes the world a nicer place.  Listen to the troubles of others, without making it about you - just listen and empathize.  Think twice before you react angrily to someone else's rudeness - respond with graciousness instead and lead by example.  

I know it's not always easy to do these things. Everyone has bad days, but if you make the extra effort to be more gentle with yourself and others, you will leave a positive imprint behind you, wherever you go.  Spread kindness and joy.  Live each day from a place of love and light.  Learn to see the world through heart-shaped eyes and you will have less stress in your life to keep you awake at night, plus more sleep means greater beauty, so its a win all round!  

Above all, be magical and never let anyone diminish your sparkle or shatter your serenity.  Allow your inner light to shine upon the world, regardless of what anyone else thinks, or says, about you. Shine anyway. 

Blessed Be and Love to You All,

Marie x