I'm currently reading The Arrow by Monica McCarty and it is reminding me so much of my soldier. Basically, it is about a young woman who is being taught lessons in self-defence from one of the Highland Guard, Gregor MacGregor, who even says the same things my soldier said to me when he gave me similar training - you're not fighting to win, you're fighting to get away and escape.
It seems to me wrong headed that young girls are not taught to defend themselves as a matter of course, as they are far more likely to be targets of violent crime in later years. Young lads are brought up to take care of themselves and regardless of their back ground, they are taught how to fight. Working class lads learn how fight outside nightclubs in city centres, while more privileged lads might be taught how to box and fence and sword fight, as a part of their private education.
So all men are taught to fight from young age. They are taught to defend themselves. Some are even taught to defend women... and then there is the odd one, like my soldier, who will teach a woman how to defend herself, sharing his knowledge to make her stronger.
These are the men you need to look out for, as they are few and far between and they are the ones who are actually worth knowing! They are worth their weight in gold, as most men prefer to maintain their advantage over women. If you are ever lucky enough to meet such a man, then listen to him carefully, because his teachings will be a part of your life forever, even if he isn't.
I have met two such men in my life so far. The first was a martial arts instructor who used to come into the village pub where I worked behind the bar. He didn't like the fact that I walked home alone at night, so he decided to do something about it. He taught me how to get a man in an arm lock, when he tries to grab me from behind. At the time, I didn't think I'd ever have cause to use such a skill, but I have done. It was in a nightclub when some drunken idiot reached over me to try and cop a feel - he didn't even get close! I had his arm locked across my shoulder in an instant and he left me alone after that. But in that moment, I felt strong and powerful, and proud that I could look after myself, no bouncer required!
Then I met the soldier from the Black Watch. He taught me more than he is even aware of; not only the self-defence training he gave me in the Blackmuir Woods in Strathpeffer, but also a certain quiet confidence and how to pick my battles. He was always calm and steady. Knowing that he could more than handle whatever was thrown at him, meant that he had no need of bravado. He wasn't loud and obnoxious like a lot of men are. He was quiet, controlled and confident. At six foot four, he emanated strength and power - but he didn't throw his weight around. He didn't need to. People automatically deferred to him and to the aura of authority military men carry with them wherever they go. I always felt safe whenever he was around.
I enjoyed learning from him, and both he and his father told me that I was a natural soldier and they'd be glad to have me on their team. I think part of it is my Bruce upbringing. My brother and I were always taught to stand up for ourselves and our father and uncles taught us both how to land a decent punch. Adding in the training that my soldier, a US GI and the martial arts instructor gave me, all means that I can walk through the city centre, alone, in the dark and not feel afraid. I can intervene and help if someone is in trouble.
Because I'm small and quiet and a bookworm, people think that I'm a pushover. That's always a mistake. But it's a mistake which works in my favour, because it gives me the element of surprise. As society becomes increasingly aggressive, I feel very grateful for all the things my soldier has taught me. Sometimes I've even had cause to use it and each time I do, I feel a new wave of affection for him and the time we spent together.
There are a couple of things I've yet to put into practice. For instance, an American GI, who I call GI Blue Eyes, told me how to go about giving someone a 'shiner' or a black eye, but thankfully, I've not yet had cause to test that skill! Still, it's another technique I have in my mind - my own mental armoury of self-defence tricks, so should the need arise, I will be prepared for it.
When the student is ready, the tutor will appear - so I have no doubt at all, that at some stage I will meet someone else who can further my self-defence training and make me even more of a warrior princess. I don't know who he is yet, but I know I will recognise him when I see him, because men like this are something special. I just wish that there were more of them, because every girl should have one!
